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<p>I got some birthday money from my MIL.  I used $60 of it to buy some Ju Ju Be accessories (basically they're little zippered pouches that I use to organize my diaper bag) that I've been wanting.  I took advantage of a Black Friday deal and got the pouches plus a freebie that I should be able to sell for about half of what I spent on the pouches.  I told DH and he asked why I didn't put the money toward bills (which is what he usually does with any birthday money he gets).  Now I kind of feel guilty about buying something I didn't really need with my birthday money.</p>
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<p>I should say that we don't have issues with bills going unpaid or going into debt to pay basic bills.  I feel like I'm pretty frugal...I make many things instead of buying them, get virtually all my kids' clothes at garage sales, get books used or at the library, am not much of a shopper/spender, and when our birthdays & Christmas roll around, I request as gifts things that we need like shoes for the kids (and occasionally just things they/we want) so we don't have to buy those things.  I have bought (and sold) quite a few expensive baby carriers in the last couple of years, and tried a bunch of different diapers (we cloth diaper) but most of the money for those has come from me making diapers to sell (I only sell them to fund my fabric buying & other things I want) and reselling kids' stuff we no longer need.  I typically buy diapers or carriers used for half of retail, and resell whatever doesn't work for us for the same price (so I'm only out shipping & PP fees).  Of course I do "lose" some value on diapers that we used for a long time.  And we bought a treadmill earlier this year and half the money for that came out of my "play fund".  DH doesn't understand why one baby carrier doesn't work forever for every baby, or why one set of diapers doesn't keep working for each kid (different builds mean some diapers don't fit, and DS had totally different needs in a cloth diaper than my DD did, that sort of thing).</p>
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<p>What do you think?  Am I spending foolishly to indulge occasionally with gift money or the money I earn reselling? </p>
 

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<p>1. Birthday money is birthday money, and you should spend it however you want. </p>
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<p>2. If I were you (and bear in mind that I am not, LOL), I'd want a diaper-business sideline to contribute a set annual amount towards household bills, with any excess to spend on fluff. That job takes your time and energy, and it should be paying off in something beyond consumer goods. Your DH would probably love that, and so, I bet, would you. </p>
 

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<p>Well, I spent my birthday money on tires last year and this year (and it didn't cover all of it) so I think you're entitled to spend it anyway you want and it's really nice if it can be a want instead of a need. </p>
 

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<p>I have spent birthday money on groceries,but I bet I bought a food I don't normally get!  I have also spent it on the kids.I think it is fine that you spent the money the way you did.Your dh chooses to pay bills with his,and that is his choice. It is to bad he made that comment,and I hope you will still spend your future birthday money however you want!</p>
 

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<p>I agree.  Unless you cannot pay your bills, birthday money should be spent however you'd like.  In fact, I usually have to <em>make</em> myself spend it on myself.  Otherwise, I end up spending it on DS or something for the household.</p>
 

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<p>When I got birthday money this past year, My mom told me I HAD to spend it on myself.  I was NOT ALLOWED to buy things for kiddo, the house, or husband.  Husband was annoyed I followed her 'gift rules' and said he usually spends his birthday money on bills, food, and other necessities and thought my new clothes and bag were frivolous.  To be fair to husband, it was a tight money month.  To be fair to mom, I really NEEDED some new clothes.  To be honest, half the reason it was a tight money month was my husband...</p>
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<p>It is birthday money.  You get to decide what to do with it.  Honestly, even if it would go better somewhere else, unless its a matter of no heat in winter or no food for the next two weeks, you should still be allowed to have fun with it.  It is a gift, once it is in your hands, it isn't up for anyone else to decide what to do with it.  It also isn't fair to receive a guilt trip for not spending it how someone else thinks you should.  Again, unless it is something SERIOUS, you should be able to have fun for your birthday.  You made it another year earthside!!</p>
 

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<p>If my spunky mom read this, she would tell you that it is a law of the universe that birthday money must be spent</p>
<p>1) in its entirety</p>
<p>2) on something unnecessary and frivolous,</p>
<p>3) something you don't really need,</p>
<p>4) but you really want,</p>
<p>5) and something overpriced,</p>
<p>6) that you would never normally buy,</p>
<p>7) except for you got a check for your birthday!</p>
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<p>I say: Enjoy your Ju Ju Be pouches 100%, send a cute thank you note to your mother in law, and love your husband for having good intentions about taking care of the family, but let him know that you just HAD to have those pouches. I'd just say: It's a girl thing.</p>
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<p>By the way, Happy Birthday darling! <span><img alt="partytime.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/partytime.gif"></span></p>
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<p>Totally agreeing with everyone else.  In fact, when you live as frugally as you do, something should be a bright spot.  It's hard to keep that up for years on end with no "gift" to yourself.</p>
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<p>He might just be a touch jealous because he put his towards bills thinking you would've, too--and when you didn't, he realized he missed a chance to have that same kind of little sparkle for himself, too.  :(</p>
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<p>You two might want to make a deal for gift money going forward.  Something like: if you're not in cc debt and you're not past due on the bills and there are no issues that you anticipate in the next year (obviously job loss can happen, but unless you have something more definitive than "it's possible"--like there's been word of a location closing or something happened to the company to warrant layoffs... or your tires are almost bald as it is... that kind of thing) that you have to follow youngspiritmom's mother's rules.  I like that.  In fact, I think I'm going to talk to dh about that becoming OUR rule because we run into this scenario too often.</p>
 

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<p>I'm jealous.  I got $160 from MIL for my birthday.  I had every intention on spending it on clothes.  I bought some jeans ($20) and a pair of running shoes ($25).  Then, DH took it and basically turned it into the "petty cash" fund and it got frittered away.  I mean, I had to ask him to use *MY* birthday money.  As I was keeping my eye out for deals and stuff I liked... Next year, I'm asking for a giftcard to a place that 1) only sells clothes, 2) not children's clothes and 3) not men's clothes and 4) must be clothes in my size and 5) not military uniforms :lol </p>
 

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<p>Birthday money is frivolous in my mind.  I cash it, and I keep the cash in the "bank of betsy" .... aka a safe place in my underwear drawer (LOL) until I find something to spend it on.  I love having that fun money every year.</p>
 

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<p>Every year I have been married I have had to spend birthday money on bills. Same with him. It has been very depressing.  </p>
<p>Last year I actually cried about it.  A lot.  </p>
<p>I don't think spending birthday money on bills is right.  But sometimes your financial status doesn't give you a choice.  </p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Sol_y_Paz</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1281895/would-you-say-these-purchases-were-a-poor-way-to-spend-money#post_16079030"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>I don't think spending birthday money on bills is right.  But sometimes your financial status doesn't give you a choice.  </p>
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<p><br>
I don't disagree with you that if your bills are not getting paid, that you don't have a choice; but that wasn't the OP's situation.  And I think everyone here is in agreement that if you truly need that money elsewhere, then yeah--that's where it goes.</p>
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<p>That being said, I can't see the harm in sparing $5 of your "found" money on a magazine or a special drink from the coffee shop to say "Happy You!".  Because you're right--it can be extremely depressing.  :(</p>
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<p>Hugs to you.  I've been there and I know it feels horrible.</p>
 

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<p>This was the first year in a very long time that I got to spend my birthday money on me, prior years we have been financially strapped enough that we needed it for important things like paying bills and gas money. I don't think you should feel guilty in the least, it is your birthday money to spend on yourself. This year I bought a bunch of pretty fabric and splurged on a ficcare hair clip.</p>
 

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<p>I agree with everyone else - birthday money is to be spent on things YOU want to spend it on.  Unless you can't put food on the table of pay your bills, in which case sometimes you've gotta make tough choices and it sucks, but that's not where you're at.  How your DH chooses to spend his gift money is his choice and you absolutely shouldn't feel bad about it.  In our family it's the opposite, I'm the saver/practical person and DH is more of a spender.  Just because I chose to not spend my money on fun stuff, doesn't mean I'd expect him to do the same, unless our budget was really hurting.</p>
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<p>Enjoy your gifts!!!</p>
 

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ok... I"ll disagree. I think your dh and you should come to some agreement on how b'day, bonus, found, or money from selling diapers etc should be spent. It irks me to no end when dh will use some convoluted logic to explain why he should spend 'x' amount on something because it's 'his' money. Uh. no it's not. It's our money, and we should decide how it gets spent together. Most of the time, for b'day money etc, deciding means me saying-- hey spend that on what you want. But if, for whatever reason I have an objection, I think that should be heard and we should duke it out, just like we do for all of the rest of our spending.<br><br>
We also don't have issues with paying the bills. It's just the 'my money, my decision' attitude that gets my back up.
 

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<p>Well, our birthday money IS just individual money, not family money.  For whatever reason, that's how we've worked it out in our family. </p>
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<p>Which, I suppose is a bit odd, because all our income has always  been pooled.  But gifts seem different.  Of course, we're talking about $50, not thousands or anything.  For us, it's similar to our weekly "allowances"--it's money for us that we spend on whatever we want, no questions.  But, again, it's 10  bucks, not a fortune.  If we were talking thousands or money that made a difference beyond a latte, then we'd reevaluate.</p>
 
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