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<p>Hi, I'm new to the page! I'm 15 weeks pregnant, and all is going very well, but I'm feeling conflicted about whether I like my doctors.  I'm hoping that, if I describe the two incidents that are bothering me, some of you might tell me your reaction.  Here goes:</p>
<p>There are four MDs in this practice, and you're supposed to rotate through and meet all of t hem during your pregnancy. Well, I've met two of the four so far, and I feel like I've gotten off to a bad start with BOTH of them! I'm sorry if this is long...</p>
<p>The first one I will call Dr. A.  On a prior date, I met with the Physician's Assistant. I told her I was having serious morning sickness, and she knew that I have a demanding job, so she said she would call in a prescription for me to use if I ever felt that I needed it.  I picked it up, and it was Zofran. It said take as needed.  I tried one, and it didn't make a difference.  I then started researching it online (which I should've done first) and I wasn't comfortable with what I found. At least for me, it wasn't the right choice, having not even been approved by the FDA for use during pregnancy, among other concerns.</p>
<p>Well, when I met Dr. A a couple weeks later, he asked how my morning sickness was going. I told him awful. He asked how the Zofran was working, and I told him that I decided not to take it. Up to this point, he was extremely nice, polite, funny, talking about fly fishing with my husband, etc. Well, when I said I didn't want to take Zofran, he looked quizzical and said, "Why?" I told him, politely, that I just wasn't comfortable with it after looking into it myself. He got defensive instantly! He looked offended and said, "Well, you can find something BAD online about Tylenol!" I said, "I understand, but --" and he cut me off, and said, "We've been prescribing it for years.  If it wasn't safe, we wouldn't do that."  It grew tense and awkward, and we both quickly switched topics. Then he became friendly again, but I felt upset and insulted.  [I will note that he MAY have been defensive because I'm a lawyer.  But I'm a criminal defense  lawyer -- I don't sue people. It was just weird.]</p>
<p>Then came Dr. B.  At this point, I was at 12 weeks. Dr. B came into the room acting like he was an old buddy of mine and my husband's.  He was like, "Hey guys!" He seemed to be our age (mid-30s), and either trying really hard to be everybody's friend, or just plain immature. Anyway, he was sugar-sweet nice upon entry to the room. He asked how I was, and I told him that I was getting a bad cold, as my throat had been killing me since the night before.  He didn't look at my throat. He just said, "Did ya get the flu shot?"  I said, "No." He then talked to me the way a condescending boyfriend does to a girlfriend, "Aaaaand WHY didn't you?"  I told him, "Well, frankly, no one has mentioned it until you right now, and I'd like to do a little research on it myself." He then said, "Um.... ya know the CDC? They're um... like, the SMARTEST people in the WORLD, or whatever?  And THEY want you to get a flu shot!" He then started telling me how easy it is for a pregnant woman to die when she has the flu. He also said, "Let me ask you this -- are you even going to vaccinate your kid???"  I said, "Listen - I'm not any certain type of patient if that's what you mean - I just want to be an educated patient!" He ended his humiliating condescension with, "You just go ahead and do your little research or whatever, and let us know."  Later in that visit, he asked how I was doing.  I told him that I still had morning sickness, but I was relieved that this was the first week I hadn't LOST weight since getting pregnant. He fluffed me off, saying, "Oh, but your baby is fine!" I said, "I understand that, but you asked how I am, and I'm very tired from lack of nutrition, and I have a stressful job, and I've been dragging myself to work every day." He said, "You DO? What do YOU do for work?" and he said it in the most condescending way, like he couldn't believe I worked at all! I told him I was a lawyer, and he told me his ex-wife was, too, and asked if knew her. It was very awkward. My husband, who NEVER agrees with me about such things, also couldn't believe how each doctor questioned my choices about the Zofran and flu shot, and he couldn't believe the way Dr. B was condescending toward me through the whole visit.</p>
<p>I don't know if anybody read this all the way through... but is it a horrible idea to switch doctors at this point?  Would this behavior be a deal breaker? Also, would you ever switch to a group that is 45 minutes away from home and also delivers 45 mins from home?</p>
<p>I truly appreciate your patience in reading this and your thoughts on the matter. Thank you!</p>
 

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I would switch in a heartbeat. A care provider who does not treat me like an intelligent equal is not someone I want to work with. I'm not "some little lady" to be pushed around and directed, I'm a human being with my own thoughts and ability to make decisions.
 

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<p>I read it all ...and I would say if you are getting bad feelings from them now, its much better to switch at 15 weeks then have to switch at 39 weeks for whatever might come up then. 45 minutes is not that far in my opinion. If you are going to switch is it possible to look for a midwife at a birthcenter? I can guarantee that a midwife will honestly take time to listen to your concerns during your pregnancy and respect your wishes especially during the birth. </p>
<p>With my first birth...I went with the clinic closest to my house, it was small, convenient so I figured it would be ok. I was in Japan so it was hard for me to find out about midwifes/ birth centers. My dr said I could have a natural birth, but as soon as my water started leaking he started talking c-section and any trust I had went with him went out the window.Anyway, I won't get into the whole birth story now but it definitely didn't turn out any way close to what I was hoping and I wish I had dug a bit deeper at the time to find a good care provider that I could completely trust. Much luck! </p>
 

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<p>Ladies, thank you so much for reading my long post.  I just didn't know how to abbreviate that story and still convey the awkwardness that I've felt at that doctor's office.  When I read my own post, and then read your responses, I know that I would have responded exactly the same way to any other woman with such a question.  I just needed to hear it from some unbiased people, I think! I have some figuring out to do, because I don't have anyone to give me good recommendations in my area. I had a great gyno, but he stopped delivering babies a couple years ago to focus on laparoscopic surgery. I came to my current OBGYN office based on the recommendations of two of my best girlfriends and some coworkers. But I think it's time to look elsewhere. And, I think the greater variety and more open-minded practitioners, including midwives, are going to be that 45 minute drive away.  At least with a summer due date I won't have to worry about snow storms, because right now, it's a disaster out there! :)</p>
<p>Thank you again!  Everyone's time is very important, and I'm glad you took some of yours to share your ideas with me!</p>
 

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Wow! I thought my last interaction with my midwife was bad, but yours was worse! Not a competition you want to win. <img alt="greensad.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/greensad.gif"> I would start looking for someone else. If they are trying to make you feel powerless and unsure of yourself now imagine what your labor might be like.
 
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<p>That's a great point. And, in all honesty, because I've never done this before, it's not something that just naturally came to mind!  Up until this point in my life, every medical procedure I've ever had has been surgery, as in, I'm unconscious and arrogant doctors aren't such a bad thing! LOL.  This is a whole new experience! Sigh... I think part of why I wanted to like them is because two of my friends - who are strong, self-assured, intelligent, successful women - loved these guys!</p>
<p>Now I'm thinking maybe they just lucked out and never came to a disagreement with the doctors.  If they had -- they might have had an experience more like mine.</p>
 

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<p>My biggest fear is being stuck in a situation where *anyone* is trying to coerce me or demand that I do something other than what feels right during birth.  I've had plenty of experience with medical "professionals" of the MD, DO, etc. type and the one thing I know most is that not a one of them has any concept about what I am going through.  My body is just weird and I get more raised eyebrows and shrugged shoulders.  I just find out what they can help me with, that they respect me and my experience, and that they are willing to be open-minded about information and/or treatments that are outside their purview.  In an ideal world, they also practice close enough to me that I can get there in 10-20 minutes because I have difficulty driving long distances, especially if I'm feeling ill. <br><br>
One of the reasons I want to move 30-45 minutes away is because there are a greater number of doctors in that area (and a little further) that sound like they'd be a good fit, but they're just too far for me to see regularly.  It means to keep the good doctors here that's a 30-45 minute drive in a different direction when we move, but at least I'll have options.  Keep in mind I live in area that's a proper city, but access to quality care is still somewhat limited.  It's just hard to find a good fit.  Once I do, I keep them for as long as I can/they are helpful. <br><br>
I read somewhere not to put off for your second birth the wonderful experience you deserve for your first.  As tenuous as life is, I want those special hours/days to be respected long before and after I go through them.  Already so much of my pregnancy has been disrespected.  I don't want to put my daughter through any more of the stress hormones than is actually necessary for us to move forward together. <br><br>
It sounds like you've already found your answer and I'm glad for it.  Perhaps I will take a cue and ask for input on a difficult decision I have to make as well.  Everything is uncertain at this point so I'll give it a few more days or a week to see if I can get some clearer view of my options. <br>
Good luck finding the practitioner who supports and respects you.  I'm looking to the midwives because I think they have more experience with the weird, but not life-threatening stuff and enough awareness of the life-threatening stuff to be there throughout if it does come to that.  I have one more option for an MD, only because he's a midwife-in-disguise according to the recommendation.  If he doesn't work out for whatever reason, I'll keep hunting through midwives to find one that will work with me and for me, not on me. </p>
 

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<p>I live up in the mountains near a big metropolitan city and the closest hospital is 45 minutes away or more in traffic. With my first pregnancy, I STRESSED out about this fact. I was sure I was going to have the local fire department delivering my baby. We got 4 ft of snow just 2 days before my first child was born. However, everything turned out totally fine (and honestly I think it would have even if they fire department did deliver my baby. I grilled them in anticipation :) ). My labors have both been super quick, but I had inklings earlier in the day that things were starting (bloody show, loss of mucus plug), so I was ready to leave as soon as things really got going. I'm not concerned at all anymore about having my third kid so far away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Regarding the things your doctors said, I would probably at least try out the other option (preferably without letting my current doctors know in case it didn't work out any better). That being said, I've technically not followed my own advice, because I've gotten a bad vibe from my nurse practitioner as well, and I'm still planning to stick it out at the moment, mostly just so I don't have to go through the inconvenience of finding someone else. It was nothing as blatantly disrespectful and condescending as what happened to you, but she flat out told me to wean my 20 month old immediately or I would most likely have a miscarriage. I've done a lot of research and I strongly disagree with both her conclusions and her belief that she had the right to even make such a "recommendation". I just chose to ignore her.</p>
 

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<div class="quote-container" data-huddler-embed="/community/t/1395345/would-you-switch-doctors#post_17541151" data-huddler-embed-placeholder="false">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Michelle Murphy</strong> <a href="/community/t/1395345/would-you-switch-doctors#post_17541151"><img alt="View Post" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br>
 
<p>My biggest fear is being stuck in a situation where *anyone* is trying to coerce me or demand that I do something other than what feels right during birth.  I've had plenty of experience with medical "professionals" of the MD, DO, etc. type and the one thing I know most is that not a one of them has any concept about what I am going through.  My body is just weird and I get more raised eyebrows and shrugged shoulders.  I just find out what they can help me with, that they respect me and my experience, and that they are willing to be open-minded about information and/or treatments that are outside their purview.  In an ideal world, they also practice close enough to me that I can get there in 10-20 minutes because I have difficulty driving long distances, especially if I'm feeling ill. <br><br>
One of the reasons I want to move 30-45 minutes away is because there are a greater number of doctors in that area (and a little further) that sound like they'd be a good fit, but they're just too far for me to see regularly.  It means to keep the good doctors here that's a 30-45 minute drive in a different direction when we move, but at least I'll have options.  Keep in mind I live in area that's a proper city, but access to quality care is still somewhat limited.  It's just hard to find a good fit.  Once I do, I keep them for as long as I can/they are helpful. <br><br>
I read somewhere not to put off for your second birth the wonderful experience you deserve for your first.  As tenuous as life is, I want those special hours/days to be respected long before and after I go through them.  Already so much of my pregnancy has been disrespected.  I don't want to put my daughter through any more of the stress hormones than is actually necessary for us to move forward together. <br><br>
It sounds like you've already found your answer and I'm glad for it.  Perhaps I will take a cue and ask for input on a difficult decision I have to make as well.  Everything is uncertain at this point so I'll give it a few more days or a week to see if I can get some clearer view of my options. <br>
Good luck finding the practitioner who supports and respects you.  I'm looking to the midwives because I think they have more experience with the weird, but not life-threatening stuff and enough awareness of the life-threatening stuff to be there throughout if it does come to that.  I have one more option for an MD, only because he's a midwife-in-disguise according to the recommendation.  If he doesn't work out for whatever reason, I'll keep hunting through midwives to find one that will work with me and for me, not on me.</p>
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<p>Michelle, what you said about not putting off for your second birth the wonderful experience you deserve for your first really hit home to me.  I read this right before I fell asleep last night, and I woke up feeling determined to change the situation. So, I'm working on it right now. I hope you also find the direction you need to take, and I wish you the best!</p>
 

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<div class="quote-container" data-huddler-embed="/community/t/1395345/would-you-switch-doctors#post_17541170" data-huddler-embed-placeholder="false">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>researchparent</strong> <a href="/community/t/1395345/would-you-switch-doctors#post_17541170"><img alt="View Post" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br>
 
<p>I live up in the mountains near a big metropolitan city and the closest hospital is 45 minutes away or more in traffic. With my first pregnancy, I STRESSED out about this fact. I was sure I was going to have the local fire department delivering my baby. We got 4 ft of snow just 2 days before my first child was born. However, everything turned out totally fine (and honestly I think it would have even if they fire department did deliver my baby. I grilled them in anticipation :) ). My labors have both been super quick, but I had inklings earlier in the day that things were starting (bloody show, loss of mucus plug), so I was ready to leave as soon as things really got going. I'm not concerned at all anymore about having my third kid so far away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Regarding the things your doctors said, I would probably at least try out the other option (preferably without letting my current doctors know in case it didn't work out any better). That being said, I've technically not followed my own advice, because I've gotten a bad vibe from my nurse practitioner as well, and I'm still planning to stick it out at the moment, mostly just so I don't have to go through the inconvenience of finding someone else. It was nothing as blatantly disrespectful and condescending as what happened to you, but she flat out told me to wean my 20 month old immediately or I would most likely have a miscarriage. I've done a lot of research and I strongly disagree with both her conclusions and her belief that she had the right to even make such a "recommendation". I just chose to ignore her.</p>
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<p>That makes me feel better.  I didn't know if it was crazy to be so far away, but it's really not that far, I guess.  I just wish I could do what you've suggested - meaning, checking out the other options without letting current doctors know. I called a group that one friend worked with in the past and said they were lovely. They are a group of women OBs and CNMs. They are going to call me back once they make sure my insurance is accepted, and they will mail me a release form. They need me to get my records forwarded if I switch to them, so once I do, my current doctors will most certainly know. Anyway, I have one more appointment with my current doctors on Friday, so I'm going to go, see how it feels, and that will be my last deciding factor, I think. I will just trust my instinct.</p>
 

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<p>Yeah, you've already gotten tons of good advice, but just another voice chiming in to say you should trust your feelings about this - I've had less awkward encounters with my current providers, and I'm in the process of trying to switch. If I encountered the treatment you did, there would be no question in my mind about switching my care. None of your questions or concerns deserved to be treated with that kind of condensation. </p>
 

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<p>Yep, time for you to find someone else.</p>
 
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