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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
by yourself w/ 3 kids? My brother and his girlfriend are coming to visit this weekend for a few days. My mom is bugging me to travel back home with them next wednesday and stay for a few days. The thing is, I would be traveling in my van w/ the kids and my brother and his girlfriend would be in their car. On my way back home though, I'd be doing it by myself. I've done it before many times, but not when I was nearing 33 wks pregnant!

I don't know... on one hand I kind of want to go see family since it'll be awhile until we'll go out again after the baby is born, but on the other hand I'm soooo not looking forward to that long of a drive by myself. Not to mention, that going to visit my mom isn't the most restful or peaceful visit, KWIM?!

So, what do you all think? DH says "no!", but my mom is a pushy sort and so I need some *really* good ammunition to be able to explain to her why it wouldn't be a good idea, or I need the motivation to just go ahead and go.

maybe I'll come down w/ something and can't travel.....
:
 

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I don't know, I think that "I'm 33 weeks pregnant and really don't want to be in charge of 3 kids all by myself during a 12-hour drive" is pretty good ammunition.
Seriously, if you're not totally comfortable and happy with this, don't do it just to please someone else. I personally wouldn't do it. I'm having a lot of trouble with sciatica and joint pain during this pregnancy, and there's no way I'd want to be chasing small children all over rest areas and so forth, not to mention the possibility of breaking down on the road. Not pregnant, I'd probably do it. Pregnant, doubtful. 33 weeks pregnant, forget it.
 

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No.
I would not. Not while pregnant.

WAY Too much strain on the back and hips. WAY too much reduction in venous return. I've heard many a women gettting swollen for the first time during a trip like that and not being able to get UNswollen until after the delivery.
For ammo for your mom ask your health care provider what their recomendation would be. Maybe they'll say no too and that's the best ammo ever.
 

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I totally agree with PPs, no way you should go. It's not like you really want to, and even if you did, it may not be the best plan in the world given all the issues already brought up. Our families are scattered across the country (too far to drive) but we told them early on if they want to see us they need to come here and visit because we need to prep the house and get ready to become a family. Well, no-one has visited (which has been an issue, moreso for DH though) but we haven't gotten any grief about not visiting...

Is there any way you could meet "the family" whoever that entails somewhere half-way and stay overnight? That might not be any better -- please ask experienced mamas about even a 6-hour drive. Also, might not be possible financially (wouldn't be for us) but just thought I'd try to come up with a compromise. But you are the one pregnant so unless you really want to get together with your extended family I personally wouldn't push it. Just MHO and I'm a first-time mom so no direct experience.
 

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We had planned for me to do a 800 mile trip with our 3 kids. I would be doing it later in pregnancy though as we had planned for me to use our old mw because we couldn't find a mw here. I would have been taking that trip at 38 or so weeks.
 

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No way would I do that this pregnant!!! I could not stay in a car that long at this point, even with many stops. What would your MW or MD advise??
 

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no - i wouldn't do it either. that is just too hard on your body.

my family and dh's family are four hours away from us (in opposite directions). we just visited my folks this last weekend and we don't plan on making many more visits, if any, and won't do any at all once i hit 36 weeks (i am 33 weeks now). my family knows that i won't travel too far from home at that point - i just tell them my midwife doesn't want me too far away at that point. so, i think blaming it on your medical care provider is a great idea and one that is impossible to argue with.
 

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Another NO vote from me!! 12 hours is a long drive at 33wks and with 3 kids. I couldn't imagine driving 3 or 4 hours without needing nap, let alone 12. Especially if you don't REALLY want to go.

I missed my grandpa's funeral this past weekend because it was a 3 hr plane ride each way and I didn't want to be cooped up that long. Just say NO to 12-hr trips!! (There is another service in the summer that babe and I will fly to if DH is unavailable to drive with us because I am not the only family that couldn't attend this weekend.)
 

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I wouldn't. We drove from IL to NC when I was about 6.5 months pregnant in 2003 and I got swollen and stretch marks starting right then - from dehydration. And no kids, just two dogs, plus my husband was along!

This time I am making a trip in 2 weeks - first a 10 hour drive (but again with my husband and only one kid and 2 dogs, overnight while the kid sleeps) and then a 6 hour drive. I plan on sitting in the way back with my feet up chugging water the WHOLE time.

If I did want to do it, I would break it up into two days and stay at a hotel I think. But again, I don't even have three kids so I can't imagine what that would be like!
 

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nope. i recently rescheduled a drive out to DC when i would be 33 weeks pregnant because the farther along i get, the more uncomfortable i am being in the car, period.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Synchro246 View Post
For ammo for your mom ask your health care provider what their recomendation would be. Maybe they'll say no too and that's the best ammo ever.
ITA. Better yet, tell your HCP that the thought of the trip is totally stressing you out, etc. (like you said in your OP) and *then* ask if they would recommend that you stay home. (I did this early in my pregnancy to get out of stressful work travel, except I actually said, "I want to say to my co-workers and clients that it would be unhealthy for me to travel for the remainder of this pregnancy. Would you support that statement?" Midwife said yes, and even offered backup in writing for my work which I did not need. Oh what a weight off my shoulders to be able to get out of all family and business travel for many months and blame the decision on someone else!
 

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well. i would do it IF I really wanted to, but then I have two kids not three, they are nearing 5 and 8 years old (i.e. not as much chasing involved as with a 2yo), aaaand I make 3-4 hour drives all the time anyway so I'm used to it and so are the kiddos. If you're going mainly to please your mom, then I'd say nah. Good ideas above for excuses too
I'd use 'em!
 

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Nope, but I'm terrified of driving and cars in general so I probably wouldn't elect to spend 12 hours in a moving vehicle no matter what the circumstances. I mean I did this past summer, a lot more than that, when we were traveling...but things we're different then...I only had me to worry about! But driving and cars and highways are dangerous places and I wouldn't go, he's coming to see you so you'll get to spend time together? you don't really need to follow him home..? Doesn't make that much sense?

Oh plus, a woman in my healthy pregnancy class spent about 12 hours on a flight and ended up having a blood clot in her leg rupture when she wasn't even pregnant so, yeah, seems like a risky thing to do right now.
 

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I totally wouldn't do it

I have to make a three hour drive through the mountains this saturday to drop my older boys off halfway for a spring break visit with their dad. It will end up being 6 hours round trip for me and the two little ones. I would not be even making the trip if my dh weren't coming and that we are going to stop for lunch and maybe a trip to the park if it isn't too cold

Then I"m making another trip at 35 weeks a 6 hour drive to visit my family for the easter weekend. I"m a lot more positive about that one, because I really want to go.

But there is no way I would do either of these trips by myself. Even though I'm quite used to taking my tribe of kids on long road trips and travelling alone, I'm just not up to it pregnant.

I intend to sit in the back of the van (so I can't stress about the poor road conditions) and watch dvd's, nap and eat
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I don't think I'll go. Visiting my mom would be fun and all my aunts, uncles and grandparents live around there so that would be cool, but the thought of being in the car for 12+hrs is just miserable to me. I've made the trip more times than I can count, but never pregnant and while my kids are great travelers, I'm not sure that *I'm* up to it this time. I know my mom will be very disappointed and my kids, too, for that matter, but I think I need to take care of me in this case. I guess the hard part is that I grew up w/in 30min. of all of this family so I'm used to seeing them pretty often. If I don't go home now it'll have been nearly 9 mos. since I'll have seen them last, and that seems like a really long time, KWIM?

My mom will come when the babe is born, as will my brother but I don't know that my grandparents or aunts will make the trip. we'll see....

thanks for the support, mama's! you guys are awesome!
 

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I would go because I never see my family and if they were only 12 hours away, I'd go in a heartbeat (they are 34 hours away, mapquest estimate, so more like 48+ with kids). I would NOT drive that far for inlaws though ;-). Lots of water, lots of stops, probably longer than 12 hours actual travel, but yep, I'd do it up to about 36 weeks along, maybe later if the route were populated and I could be sure that if I went into labor there'd be a hospital along the way.
 

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No way. But I'm a heck of a lot bigger at my 30 weeks than most singleton moms. We did a road trip (6 hours each way) back in late December, and that was it for me. No more travel since then. I just can't do it!
 

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OMG no way. I cant even sit in a chair for more than an hour without being in agony with PSD (Synthesis Pubis Disorder) . No way no how. Frankly I wouldnt travel 12 hours alone with my kids even NOT pregnant but I wouldnt even consider it now.
 
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