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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We are expecting baby #1 at the end of March/beginning of April. I am thrilled, over the moon, amazingly excited . . . but this babe was a surprise, and suddenly plans that had been in the works for ages are being scrapped, changed, etc.<br><br>
We have already cancelled the big family trip to Europe that we had been planning for the last 2-3 years (I think it would be too difficult to handle a 10-hour flight, not to mention childcare in Eastern Europe). There are some smaller functions, though, that we are trying to find a way to attend. Here are the details:<br><br>
Situation #1: DH's cousin is turning 30, and having a big birthday bash (over 100 guests) on Memorial Day weekend. DH's cousins are like his siblings (he is an only child), and we really don't want to miss this party. However, there is no way I will be away from my child for an evening, especially since we will be breastfeeding and I am not planning on giving babe a bottle until at least 6-9 (preferably 12) months. My solution: have a babysitter that we know and trust come along with us to the party. The birthday girl is already planning on hiring 2-3 babysitters to hang out downstairs in the building (she has a lot of party guests with children), but with a 2-month old I want to have our OWN babysitter who can give undivided attention. We will have 2-way radios or our cell phones so that I can be called down at a moment's notice to nurse or comfort, and I would have no problem with wearing the baby for the entire party if babe is high-needs or just won't take comfort from the sitter. (I've even thought of asking one of the grandmothers to take over that job, but am worried that the party would go too late and they would get too tired.)<br><br>
Situation #2: DH and I bought a half-season subscription to the theater this year, to see a few plays before the baby arrives. Just found out, though, that Les Miserables will be coming in the spring, AFTER babe arrives. Les Mis is my favorite piece of theater; we have seen it a few times, and we have friends who have never seen it who would love to make a night of it. The problem? No children allowed in the theater (under age 5, I think). My solution, though I'm not sure it would work: have grandma come along and hang with the baby in the car, parked as near to the theater as possible, and stay in touch via cell-phone (I can turn mine to vibrate so that it doesn't offend other theater-goers). If I got a call from my mom/MIL, I would high-tail it out of there and go to the car . . . but I thought having grandma in attendance MIGHT increase my chances of getting to see the show.<br><br>
Your thoughts? Is 2 months just too young to be more than an arm's reach away from Mom for a couple of hours? Should we just forget about the theater, and tell our friends to have a good time on their own? Is there another solution that I am missing?<br><br>
I appreciate any advice/suggestions you can give; obviously we have plenty of time to figure this out, but we only have until November to purchase theater tickets. (*grin*)
 

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It sounds like you're putting a lot of thought in to how to make these activities do-able without neglecting your baby! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> As long as the caregiver that you choose for both events doesn't mind, I see no problem. After all, you said you'd go right to baby if he/she needs you.
 

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you seem covered. I personally wouldn't mind leaving my ds in capable hands, if I knew I was within an arms reach.<br><br>
Ps. yes I would have my own babysitter for the party. good thinking. What's good too you can leave frequently if needed to nurse or whatever. Same for the theatre.
 

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For #1, I would not bother with a sitter but just wear baby the entire time. A 2-month-old sleeps much of the time, even if there's a lot of activity, and is easily amused when awake. I took EnviroBaby to all kinds of social events at that age and rarely had to leave the room even briefly, other than for diaper changes. I don't see anything in your description indicating that baby can't be at the party---will there be a lot of smoking, or something?<br><br>
#2 could be tricky but could be fine; since it's important to you, I think it's worth a try! I suggest drinking no liquids from an hour before the show until intermission so that you can spend intermission w/baby instead of waiting in line for the restroom. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Planning ahead is good! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> Happy pregnancy to you!
 

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Your plans are probably doable, but a few things to consider. On numerous occasions, my mil (who I love, and is pretty much on board with our AP parenting philosophies) has been watching dd at my house while I tried to get some sleep. Obviously, the plan is for her to bring her to me (just a few rooms away) when she gets hungry. However, my mil does not understand her cues the way I do (admittedly, dd's cues are subtle). Also, I think she worries about "bothering" me "needlessly", and wants me to get my sleep. This results in dd having to be in a full-blown screaming fit before mil will bring her to me. I explained repeatedly that I wanted her brought to me as SOON as she started fussing, even if mil did not think she was hungry. My instructions were not followed, however, no matter how many times I repeated them. So this scenario is not allowed anymore.<br><br>
Just something to keep in mind. Your caretakers may be well-intentioned, but may not read dc's cues well, and may worry that dc isn't really hungry or doesn't really need you. This would hopefully only result in a fairly short delay in meeting dc's needs, so you have to decide if you're okay with that.<br><br>
Good luck, and congratulations!!!
 

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Wow--such great responses in such a short time! Thanks, mamas!<br><br>
And thanks to Mamabohl for giving me a thumbs-up on the planning; I've been toying with this idea for awhile, but feeling guilty the whole time for even CONSIDERING leaving my dear little-one-to-be for even a couple of hours.<br><br>
For #1, babywearing the whole time is something I would definitely lean towards. (There will be no smoking--indoors, at least.) The main reason for having the sitter there would be in case the music was just too loud for the babe, and even with a sitter he/she might end up in the sling the whole time. I just figured best to have ALL bases covered.<br><br>
For #2, it seems it won't even be necessary to enlist a grandma--I talked to DH and although he is all for a group night out to the theater, he has already seen Les Mis three times and doesn't really want to see it again. So, he is willing to hang out in the car or in a nearby restaurant with the baby and call me if boobs are needed. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> Also, since it will be DH instead of a grandma, hopefully he will be better at reading cues that a grandmother might miss.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> Kuddos to you for thinking everything out, they all sound like great plans.Good luck.
 

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I think the cell phone thing will work - because I did it last night. I took ds1 (he's 12) and a couple of friends to see a 14A movie. (Actually, I sat in the back, and the went "by themselves".) DH took dd and ds2 for a stroll around the shopping complex where the movie theater is. When ds2 got hungry, dh called me on the cell phone - on vibrate, of course! I left and fed ds2 in the van, then went back to the movie.
 

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Good job mama - you seem to have everything worked out for staying close to your babe to meet his/her needs while still enjoying life...<br>
My 3 month old dd has been to 3 weddings in her short lifetime - we wore her in a sling and she basically slept or nursed through all 3 - we even took her on the dance floor with us! I wouldn't worry too much about taking your babe along anywhere - they are very portable!
 

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If you're worried about loud music, you can get silicone ear plugs for children at the drugstore. They're like putty, and you just fill the ear opening up. I think they're really developed to keep water out (swimmer's ear, etc.), but work fairly well for noise (I tried them on myself). You have to get them sealed well, and there's no way for babe to tell you if that's the case, but I just kept pressing them in, and hoped they were doing the job. She slept fine and wasn't startled by the music, so I think it worked well.<br><br>
Sounds like you have your bases covered, and are armed with good plans <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">.
 

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Situation 1: definatly do the babysitter thing. (good idea!) That will probably be way less stress for both you and the baby.<br><br>
Okay before I go into the next situation, I just want to let you all know that I work in theater so I have a thing with this because I've been through it on the other end...<br><br>
Situation 2: I would not leave the baby in the car with a sitter. My reason being, how is he/she going to communicate with you and before you say phone - that is disrespectful to the others around you who have paid a lot of money to see Les Miz. Plus you have spent a lot of money to see the show as well and you'll be distracted and unable to enjoy the show yourself.<br><br>
So here are my questions for you before you make either desicion from a theater worker standpoint:<br>
Where are your seats? If you are up front close to the stage, the constant checking the phone and getting up and going away is very distracting for the actors. If you are about 15 rows back from the stage, actors can't see you anyway so that doesn't really matter.<br><br>
How far away from the theater are you? If you live a short distance, it may be worth your while to have somebody stay home with him for the four hours. She/He may get himself into a pattern where he/she sleeps at that point of the day for long stretches. Or to free yourself up a bit more, pump and try to get your baby to take bottle and breast. (that is something I had to do because of work and we switch back and forth from bottle to breast all the time to train him for when I do go back and my ds has no confusion whatsoever and is great for me so my dh can feed him in the morning before going to work giving me more time to sleep before I have to go)<br><br>
I hope you are not offended by this, it's just something else to think about.
 

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It all might work out and that would be great, but I'll tell you my experience -- with our son at that age I was just so tired all the time all I really wanted to do anyway was just stay home with him. So be prepared for that possibility too, in case that's how you end up feeling. Our babe would not be worn in sling or carrier, for love nor money, until he was 9 months old, and still has a hard time traveling, and can't really stand to be separated from us in the evenings. So we've just cleared our calendar . . . again, it may totally be different for you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lactavia</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Situation 2: I would not leave the baby in the car with a sitter. My reason being, how is he/she going to communicate with you and before you say phone - that is disrespectful to the others around you who have paid a lot of money to see Les Miz. Plus you have spent a lot of money to see the show as well and you'll be distracted and unable to enjoy the show yourself.</div>
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I see your point there, and my answer is that my phone would be set to silent, so there would be no audible interruption of the show. DH would send me a text message, my phone (in my pocket) would vibrate in three very short buzzes, and I would leave the theater. I have no problems with being distracted by the possibility of a vibrating phone during concerts/shows; since I work as a doula, I have attended many functions while awaiting a labor call, and I just hold onto the phone/leave it in my pocket, so that I feel it IMMEDIATELY if it buzzes and can attend to it.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Where are your seats? If you are up front close to the stage, the constant checking the phone and getting up and going away is very distracting for the actors. If you are about 15 rows back from the stage, actors can't see you anyway so that doesn't really matter.</td>
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This is a really good point--I had thought about how to minimize disturbing the other theater-goers, but hadn't thought about the actors: we had been planning on ordering orchestra-section seats, as close to the stage as possible (because some of the people in the group have never seen the show). Reflecting on the disruption I could cause for the performers, it would probably be better if we ordered lower balcony seats, so that at least I would be more discreet if I had to duck out. Because we are season ticket holders and would be pre-ordering tickets, I could also make sure that our block of seats includes an aisle seat for me, so that I would not have to crawl over other patrons to leave the theater.<br><br>
As far as returning to the theater after nursing (if possible), I called the theater this morning and asked them about this situation. I was told that people are allowed to leave the theater during the show, but are only allowed to return during periods of applause--and since the show is a continuous score, periods of applause ARE rare. I am willing to run the risk of missing a decent chunk of the show for the possibility of a miracle--the baby COULD sleep blissfully throughout most of the show, and respond to DH's soothing so that my presence would NOT be required, if we're really lucky! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
And rest assured that if babe was cranky and couldn't be without mama for that long, I wouldn't be slipping in and out of the theater trying to calm him/her. I would have no problem scrapping the theater plans and hanging out with DH and the babe while we waited for our friends to be done--at least they would've gotten a chance to enjoy a great show!<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">How far away from the theater are you? If you live a short distance, it may be worth your while to have somebody stay home with him for the four hours. She/He may get himself into a pattern where he/she sleeps at that point of the day for long stretches. Or to free yourself up a bit more, pump and try to get your baby to take bottle and breast. (that is something I had to do because of work and we switch back and forth from bottle to breast all the time to train him for when I do go back and my ds has no confusion whatsoever and is great for me so my dh can feed him in the morning before going to work giving me more time to sleep before I have to go)</td>
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Unfortunately, we live QUITE a distance (about 45-60 minutes' drive) from the theater, and so leaving the baby at home would not be feasible . . . I plan on avoiding bottles/pacifiers completely until at least 9 (possibly 12) months because of problems my mother had breastfeeding me, and the baby will be only 1-2 months old during the run of the show. I really need to be RIGHT THERE in case nursing becomes necessary.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I hope you are not offended by this, it's just something else to think about.</td>
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Not offended at all; I welcome your advice, and you have definitely given me a few more things to think about. As much as I want to see this show again, I certainly don't want to cause any inconvenience for the people around me.<br><br>
I still have a couple of days to think it over; I am waiting to hear back from the various people invited on workable dates so that we can call about tickets.
 

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For the gathering, assuming a happy-go-lucky baby, I see no problem. I was a bridesmaid at a huge wedding when DS was 9 months, and though I would NEVER do it again (too tired, too exhausting, caring for the bride was far more than I was capable of though I gave it a good try while DH took care of DS in the church's "cry room", getting me when the boobs were needed, for hours and hours), from DS's point of view it was fine. At the reception, once I was there and able to join DH and DS (after photos), I wore him in my pretty brocade sling and we were all very happy to be back together. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
But another bridesmaid had a daughter who had to be left at home with DH, as she was colicky and could NOT be brought out into public.<br><br><br>
When you said theater, I thought you meant movie, and was going to say that 2 months is a perfect time to bring a non-colicky baby to a movie. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> But when I read further...I've stayed half an hour in the car with my OWN baby, and just can't stand it. It's so close in the car, it's either hot or cold, it gets stuffy (and sitting in a parking lot you're not going to leave a window open for fear of bad people coming by), if baby cries it bursts your eardrums...the list goes on and on.<br><br>
Are there any hotels right nearby? If so, splurge and get grandma or hubby a hotel room. MUCH more comfy.<br><br>
But at 2 months...my milk was still figuring itself out. At the wedding I was petrified of leaking through my dress. My breasts would hurt SO much (coinciding with hubby sending word that DS needed me, which was cool) and I'd get desperate to get to DS...I could barely concentrate on the goings-on around me, and they were right there in front of me, not actors. From my experience, with a very easy-going, happy-go-lucky baby, I'd skip it.
 
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