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<p>So I let my good friend know that I am expecting last night.  He was caught a little off guard.  Then we were talking and somehow I brought up that I am having my long desired homebirth.   Now mind you have been talking about the safety of homebirth and how I would love one for over 10 years.  My late husband was never on board because of monetary reasons.  (you have to pay out of pocket for homebirth in my state there is no option of letting insurance cover... and our copay for birth was $10-20.) </p>
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<p>Oh my his reaction floored me.  He even proofread a paper I did for a writing class over the summer on the safety of Homebirth for me so he knew how well I had done my research and how safety wise there is no concern.   He kept going on how I need a Dr and how I need drugs.  Hello I am a mother of 5 and only had pain meds with one delivery.   (That birth I was confined to bed due to complications and also had a migraine.  I told DH I could not handle the pain of delivery and the migraine.  The pain meds they gave me didn't help with the labor pain but did take away the migraine.   The pain meds also made me so sleepy that I slept for 6 hours after my son was born and I could not be woken up not a good way to start off a breastfeeding relationship.)   </p>
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<p>If this is how a friend that knows me well and knows that I have med free births, knows I have wanted a homebirth for 10 years reacts my choice to keep my plans to myself is a great idea. </p>
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<p>I also learned my room mate is not on board and I need to make sure she keeps her negativity away.  She gives me the whole "My brother would have died without a c-section" comment.   Yes her brother was very tangled in the cord and was having his heartrate drop.   However I keep pointing out to her that a midwife is trained to now when something is not quite right and transfer mom for interventions that can not be done at home. That is one thing I love about The Buisness of Being Born... they show that a midwife can tell when a transfer is needed.  </p>
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<p>Ironically as soon as I told my friend I can transfer if I feel I need medication he was ok with the idea of me having my baby at home.   I realize med free births are not for everyone but I have already had 4 and have only regrets about the medication I opted for with my son.  I am not going to feel like I have to have meds. </p>
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<p>AHHHH guess I have this board to turn to for people that understand my excitement about having my baby at home.</p>
 

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<p>Given all you've said, yeah...what a weird reaction!!</p>
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<p>Well, you're schooled about HB (clearly). You've done your homework, so you know the deal. Even if your friend isn't excited with you, WE ARE!!</p>
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<p>Congratulations, mama. And here's wishing you a blessed, beautiful birth at home. :)</p>
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<p>*hugs*</p>
 

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<p>I was just floored.  I mean I didn't expect him to be excited but I really didn't expect him to lecture me about that I needed medication. Yep I have done my homework over the last 10 years.   I have even been on this board during that time and hoped to get info and books that could have gotten my late DH on board with a homebirth.  His whole issue came down to cost.  He even helped lobby to get CPMs recognized in my state so that one day insurance would cover.  </p>
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<p>I was worried my boyfriend would not be onboard because he has not been around while I have done all this research. When he told me he was fine with a homebrith I almost came here to proclaim "I am finally going to plan a homebrith!!!!"   I wanted to shout it from the rooftops.   I was so excited.  Then boyfriend went with me to my consult with the midwife.  He just really loved her.   I thought that was awesome.  I am so excited and it is hard my friends don't share in my excitement.</p>
 

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<p>Yeah it's no fun when others won't celebrate your HB decision with you. I get that we all need to be tolerant of eachother, blah blah, but dammit, sometimes you just want people to be happy for you!</p>
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<p>As hard as it is, try not to let others get you down. Your birth is going to be simply a-mazing! :)</p>
 

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<p>I always find it odd when men think a woman should have pain meds in birth. I mean, if you want medications in birth and are the laboring women, by all means have what you think you need. But I don't get why a man, who has never and will never give birth, cares if a woman has pain meds or not.</p>
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>CBEmomma</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285634/wow-not-excpecting-that#post_16130058"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border-right:0px solid;border-top:0px solid;border-left:0px solid;border-bottom:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>I always find it odd when men think a woman should have pain meds in birth. I mean, if you want medications in birth and are the laboring women, by all means have what you think you need. But I don't get why a man, who has never and will never give birth, cares if a woman has pain meds or not.</p>
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<p>I think their intentions are good.  It's hard to think about someone that you care about in pain if it is preventable.  I also think they just have not even considered birth much, let alone options around birthing.  So they are like, of COURSE you will get meds!</p>
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<p>But it is funny how men are more adamant about this than women are!<br><br>
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