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<p>Hi everyone,</p>
<p>I have been raising our multicultural trilingual 3 children without extended family since they were born.</p>
<p>for the first year or so i started raising our first born in a similar mainstream way that my parents had raised me. However I needed to find another way of parenting because this way was causing too much anger and frustration. I never knew there was another way to parent but since my hubby and I started unconditional parenting our household is so much more peaceful, the kids hardly fight, they are so loving, thoughtful, responsible and respectful.</p>
<p>mainstream parents put this question first in regards to the upbringing of their children 'How can I get my child/ children to do as I say?' However unconditional parents ask this question 'What does my child/children need and how can I meet those needs?'</p>
<p>I have learnt and am still learning that when we respect and love our kids unconditionally they will do the same to us. I have learnt not to expect self control from them because they are learning self control from us.</p>
<p>If I am selfish and want them to be convenient for me then they will turn out selfish and treat me in a way that is convenient to them. However being a loving and selfless parent produces loving and selfless children, who have self respect and can see the effects of their actions on other people.</p>
<p>I urge every parent in the world to do unconditional parenting, our children are much more complex than to be able to be controlled in the conditional way we have been taught (the way people train animals). (time out, rewards, punishments etc)</p>
<p>The root issue of hurt behaviour is never addressed in mainstream parenting.</p>
<p>please look up Alfie kohn, Barbara Coloroso, and books and online links on unconditional parenting. It will change your life and your children's lives, not to mention eventually the whole of society, if we all practiced unconditional parenting i believe there would be no need for prisons in this world.</p>
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