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I would have been upset too but I wouldn't have said anything. I would have moved on. I think this dad is no different than a jock dad expecting the most out of his boys in sports or a parent that expects their child to make straight A's in school. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> It's sad, but nothing you can do or say to someone about their own child.<br><br>
IMO, if that child was young enough to be carried around then he was still a baby/toddler. He has plenty of time to become a man. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> It also sounds like the dad was just trying to talk tough in front of his guy friend.<br><br>
My DH is definitely a manly man and when he plays with our boys he is rough at times and then other times he is hugging and loving on them and expecting them to love back. Our oldest is 13 and is used to this. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Oh man. I cannot imagine if my children's father was like this.....you are far more patient and forgiving than I.<br><br>
I'd have a oh-yeah-bring-it-on-you-are-going-to-regret-this attitude.<br><br>
I have ONCE had to have a conversation with my DH about associating "female"esque as a deragatory term around his children. He did not enjoy the experience.
 

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Discussion Starter #23
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mommy68</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11385714"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It also sounds like the dad was just trying to talk tough in front of his guy friend.</div>
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That was actually the impression I got too. I think he was mostly frustrated, and not really into the "toughen up" attitude.
 

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We were at a friends son's b-day party this past weekend and I casually mentioned that we had enrolled ds#2 (4 in Oct) in a Creative Movements dance class at the studio dd goes to. Well someone said in a jokingly way "fairy" and another mom shot her an understanding (at the comment look) so I shot them both a look and then she said "oh just kidding ha ha ha" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: SERIOUSLY?!?!?! What's wrong with people?!?! He's ALWAYS moving when music is on and has quite a beat if I do say so myself <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> I think he'll thorougly enjoy the class.
 

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Where I grew up that kind of attitude is typical.<br><br>
As for my husband and his family, it's not at all.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mommy68</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11385714"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think this dad is no different than a jock dad expecting the most out of his boys in sports or a parent that expects their child to make straight A's in school.</div>
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I'm not sure I quite understand this comparison. I don't view indoctrinating with gender stereotypes with being a stage parent or expecting exceptional outcomes.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>honeybee</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11383928"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The book <i>Real Boys</i> really delves into this whole issue. It's a great read, if you have boys, or are just married to someone who was once a boy!</div>
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Excellent book!! Although, I must also admit to having tears when reading certain parts of that book. Western society does such an injustice to boys. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
A definite must-read for anyone who lives with, is raising or works with boys.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Demeter9</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11387102"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Oh man. I cannot imagine if my children's father was like this.....you are far more patient and forgiving than I.<br><br>
I'd have a oh-yeah-bring-it-on-you-are-going-to-regret-this attitude.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
If DH ever spoke to DS as the OP described I'd fly off the handle. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mommy68</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11385714"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It also sounds like the dad was just trying to talk tough in front of his guy friend.</div>
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Which is an issue all by itself, really, IMO.</span>
 

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Im thankful my dh does not do this to our son. He is very open about feelings and doesn't make a fuss when ds cries over little things.
 
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