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Its my friend's birthday this week and I would like to make her a really yummy, decadent birthday cake to take to playgroup and share with the other mamas.<br><br>
The things is .... I don't think I want the children to have it. I don't allow my children to have sugar, etc, plus I'm going to put a lot of effort in and I think I'll be really upset to see my creation chewed up and spat out, mashed into the wall, dropped in the dirt, etc.<br><br>
I'm planning on making some super-healthy cupcake/muffins for the children to have instead.<br><br>
I suppose its really up to each parent what they feed their own children, isn't it? Is it okay for me to bring a cake along and say, "This cake is for the grown-ups, and the muffins are for the children." ? Or is this really rude of me?<br><br>
Be honest, I can take it!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:
 

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Hmm, I don't know I think It depends on the personalities of the mommies in your group. I personally would be fine with it as long as you bought something for the kids also. I have "mommy" food here that I do not let the children have.It's my personal stash and I want it to myself.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:
 

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I would make some of both, and tell them all what is available, and let the moms decide for themselves which they will allow their kids to have. You never know, some of the moms may prefer the muffins for themselves. Personally, if somebody brought treats and said "grown ups only!" I would just tear mine in half and share with my kids anyway. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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IMO, rude. I would definitely take an alternative snack for the kids, but should they choose to eat the cake, then that's just how it goes.<br><br>
Perhaps you could look at it as a gift - when you give someone a present, the intent is to truly gift it to her, and once it is given, you no longer have ownership of it, physically or emotionally. We hope, when we give gifts, that the recipient is emotionally moved by it and will treasure it, but it doesn't always happen that way.<br><br>
Personally, when I am given a gift or honored with a special thing like a cake, it is the highest honor I can give the giver to share it with the people I love, and I love no one more than my children and husband.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>artgoddess</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7981732"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would never do that. It's really rough on the kids to have a cake and say "You can't eat this."</div>
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ITA.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>artgoddess</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7981732"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would never do that. It's really rough on the kids to have a cake and say "You can't eat this."</div>
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Yeah but the mom can always share her half with them as secondseconds suggested. But she shouldn't be expected to give them their own piece of her "masterpiece".
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jeca</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7981794"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Yeah but the mom can always share her half with them as secondseconds suggested. But she <b>shouldn't</b> be expected to give them their own piece of her "masterpiece".</div>
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I didn't say she should do anything. Just that I would never do it, I would expect the guest of honor to cut a piece of cake for each guest, children included.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>daniedb</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7981765"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">IMO, rude. I would definitely take an alternative snack for the kids, but should they choose to eat the cake, then that's just how it goes.<br></div>
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I agree.
 

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I would share cake with my daughter, even if it was supposed to be for adults only. She would get so excited to see a yummy treat like that, and would probably have hurt feelings if she didn't get to participate.<br><br>
I think bringing along cupcakes or muffins is a good idea, especially if you made them look "extra special" so the kids wouldn't feel like they were being cheated out of the big treat. But I wouldn't forbid the kids to have cake: I'd leave that up to the individual parents.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jeca</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7981794"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Yeah but the mom can always share her half with them as secondseconds suggested. But she shouldn't be expected to give them their own piece of her "masterpiece".</div>
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Well but honestly can you imagine taking a cake to a playdate and telling the kids no? Their eyes widen in joy when they see the cake, the crumpled up faces when they hear it's 'just for mama,' the constant pestering of the mamas to share?<br><br>
I can't see it being a fun experience, personally. I suggested bringing another good treat for the kids because I've seen it work at playdates where the kids are having one dessert and the mamas another. The kids pester a bit but it's much more doable that way.
 

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My kids would be very upset if I ate cake in front of them that they wren't allowed to have, alternative cupcake or no. So I would be really irritated and grumpy that my kids were being denied something like that. Seems mean to me. I'd end up splitting it between them and not being able to have any myself.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>artgoddess</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7981809"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I didn't say she should do anything. Just that I would never do it, I would expect the guest of honor to cut a piece of cake for each guest, children included.</div>
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I never said you said she SHOULD, not really sure why you bolded that part. Just in general speaking she shouldn't not you personally saying she shouldn't.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> If it's something that she really wants to share with just the mommies than *I* personally understand. I think it's fine if the mom chooses to share it with their own child. I don't know I guess my kids aren't that sensitive when it comes to things like this. Would they want some yes, would I give them a bite, yes would they devour the snack that was for them, absolutely as long as it was good.
 

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Personally I wouldn't bring a dessert to a gathering unless I intended to share with everyone at the gathering. I couldn't imagine bringing a lovely cake to a play date and telling the kids they couldn't have any. And if the adults are having a treat, why can't the kids have something decadent too, instead of something "super-healthy"? I can totally understand your point of view, but perhaps if you are putting that much time/effort into a cake you should perhaps find an "adults-only" time to share it with your friend?<br><br>
Also, I am wondering how old the children in question are since you are afraid of seeing your masterpiece chewed up and spit out/mashed into the wall etc? My two older children are 3 1/2 and 5 and I couldn't ever imagine them behaving that way with food. If they don't like something they usually just push the plate away and say they don't want anymore.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>thismama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7981821"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Well but honestly can you imagine taking a cake to a play date and telling the kids no? Their eyes widen in joy when they see the cake, the crumpled up faces when they hear it's 'just for mama,' the constant pestering of the mamas to share?<br><br>
I can't see it being a fun experience, personally. I suggested bringing another good treat for the kids because I've seen it work at play dates where the kids are having one dessert and the mamas another. The kids pester a bit but it's much more doable that way.</div>
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Yes, I can it's like serving alcohol at a party and telling the kids, no I'm sorry this is not for you. I mean if you want you can try to hide it I guess. I don't maybe my kids are weird we have done this before and it just wasn't a big issue.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>neetling</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7981839"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My kids would be very upset if I ate cake in front of them that they wren't allowed to have, alternative cupcake or no. So I would be really irritated and grumpy that my kids were being denied something like that. Seems mean to me. I'd end up splitting it between them and not being able to have any myself.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
Not trying to be unkind, but I think what you are suggesting sounds very rude.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jeca</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7981882"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Yes, I can it's like serving alcohol at a party and telling the kids, no I'm sorry this is not for you. I mean if you want you can try to hide it I guess. I don't maybe my kids are weird we have done this before and it just wasn't a big issue.</div>
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Personally I think there is a big difference between ALCOHOL and CAKE. It is pretty much a given that children won't/can't have alcohol, but children usually EXPECT to be able to eat cake.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jeca</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7981882"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Yes, I can it's like serving alcohol at a party and telling the kids, no I'm sorry this is not for you. I mean if you want you can try to hide it I guess. I don't maybe my kids are weird we have done this before and it just wasn't a big issue.</div>
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Cake is not booze.
 

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Alcohol is different than CAKE. I would expect someone to refuse to give my kid alcohol but my girls would be hurt if there was a pretty cake and they weren't allowed to have a piece but they saw other people eating it.<br><br>
I think you should bring a cake expecting to share with every single person there and let the mothers decide whether or not their kid doesn't get any. But announcing ahead of time that the kids don't get cake is kind of mean IMO.
 
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