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Discussion Starter #1
WWYD if you had a friend that was<br><br>
*negative ie complains a LOT<br>
*won't do favors (but wants them)<br>
*acts like they don't like your kids (or kids at all even though they babysit)<br>
*acts put out if you request a snack while at their home (she has tons of food)<br>
*kind of petty and keeps score<br>
*tells you really deep secrets about mutual friends<br>
* has people on speaker phone/3 way calls without their knowledge<br>
*sometimes doesn't answer/return calls, hardly ever calls you<br><br>
I don't know, sometimes she can be a lot of fun but sometimes I get pissed and just want to say screw it. Sometimes I feel like I am her backup friend when there is no one else around. The think is that she is the only person that I have really clicked with (we have been friends about a year)
 

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that's tough...it's nice to have friends you click with, but I think you are just setting yourself up for major heartache down the line, all of those behaviours you describe could really blow up in your face, yk? So I'd say get out now while it's still early days...
 

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Honestly? She doesn't really sound like that much of a friend to me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><i>Real</i> friends don't keep score but DO keep secrets.
 

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She sounds rather toxic...<br><br>
I just think that if you feel your energy is being drained by somene who is not enriching your life in any signifigant way then its time to drop 'em like their hot.<br><br><br>
Sorry.
 

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i think you already know the answer. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> she's what i call a 'one-way street' friend. personally, i find it hard to make friends during this stage in my life, but i don't think i'd put up with someone like that. there are other future friends in this world who don't have those dismal qualities. i'm sure you'll be fine without her. if you're feeling guilty because she doesn't really have other friends, just remember that you're not responsible for her happiness.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LLobsterTV</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7896254"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">if you're feeling guilty because she doesn't really have other friends, just remember that you're not responsible for her happiness.</div>
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Oh no, she has TONS of friends. Like she gets calls off the hook whenever I am over, people seem to flock to her. She is extremely friendly and like-able (goes to all the playgroup stuff, LLL, NINO etc) It's almost like she can't be alone and has to have someone else around all the time.<br><br>
I just know what she says about her other friends, I can just imagine what she says about me.
 

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I had a friend like that. She was making enemies as fast as she made new friends. Always had someone calling her and when no one else was around she would call me. I stopped talking to her ... it was taking to much out of me.<br>
You won't miss her if she is out of your life.. The lack of Drama will be a great relief.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I just know what she says about her other friends, I can just imagine what she says about me.</td>
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Exactly. Not much of a friend.
 

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You have to decide. Is it worth it to you?
 

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i had a few friends like that and i am so happy to not have them in my life anymore. hanging out with toxic people just brings you down too. i would cut them out.
 

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It shouldn't be work to be friends. It doesn't sound like the relationship is worth it to me. Maybe distance yourself for a little while and see how you feel.
 

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Doesn't sound like much of a friend.
 

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I had a friend like this. I broke up with her.
 

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Life is too short for high maintenance friends. I would drop her like a hot potato.
 

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What would I do? I would NOT consider that person a friend at all. I would cut ties with anyone in my life who acted like that.
 

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I HAD a friend like that. Cut her out, you'll never regret it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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I wouldn't be able to be a friend with that person. I mean, I'd have to say something about the behavior that really bothered me, about betraying people's secrets etc. Other stuff I might try to work through, and it might affect how I felt we clicked or how I defined our friendship and spent time together, but I'd probably say something about the ethical stuff and either hopefully she'd grow or likely it'd end the friendship... I'd have a HARD time trusting her not to betray ME, and hwo can you be friends when you don't trust?
 

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I couldn't trust someone like that. I don't think I could be friends with someone I didn't trust.
 
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