[dubfam]

My son is friends with our 5 year old (less than 5.5) neighbor. She is a great kid, and She and My son have a really good time together.

She has a younger brother who is 2 (barely 2) years old.

Her parents seem super nice and they seem very young, as in very early 20's...not sure exact ages.

Tonight my son told me that the 5 year old girl is GROUNDED from playing outside for a week. The Reason?
She was supposed to be watching her brother while they were playing outside. He wandered into the VERY, VERY, VERY BUSY STREET directly in front of their house!!!! It is a miracle that he wasn't hit by a car. But now this poor little girl is being held responsible for this!!

It just breaks my heart! I think her parents are trying hard and they really don't know any better. I would like to offer some support/suggestions/advice in a way that doesn't come across as being self-righteous or anything. I am very concerned that they are allowing a 5 year old to supervise a 2 year old outside in a very busy urban area. It is the type of scenario where I could imagine many folks placing a call to CSD.

Any Ideas/suggestions?? I really suck when it comes to being 'Tactful'.

TIA!

 

[weliveintheforest]

It's hard to say, because you don't really know what happened. Your son may not have the full story. Maybe you could invite them over for coffee and a playdate and if it seems appropriate you could ask about it.

 

[angelpie545]

That really sucks, but I think it's an area best left alone. Unless you see the kids outside unsupervised yourself, I would take what your sons says with a grain of salt. It's certainly possible he could have misunderstood what he heard. Or, it could have gone through several sources first and perhaps the story grew as it was passed along. If really is true that's very unfortunate for the little girl, but not something I'd risk making a huge stink over. Don't get me wrong-I am NOT condoning what the parents are doing at all..I'm just saying that some things are worth the fight, and others probably aren't.

 

[dubfam]

I guess I should add that the parents told my Hubby about this as well. Also, we have found their son playing alone in our driveway (when the 5 year old was supposed to be supervising), which leads to another very busy road.

I also have a toddling son, and I worry that someone will see the neighbor's toddler playing unsupervised in my driveway and call CSD on me thinking it is my son (who I would NEVER allow outside without an adult. Even tho my older son is 6. We are on a VERY busy street!!)

 

[dubfam]

Quote:

Originally Posted by angelpie545 That really sucks, but I think it's an area best left alone. Unless you see the kids outside unsupervised yourself, I would take what your sons says with a grain of salt. It's certainly possible he could have misunderstood what he heard. Or, it could have gone through several sources first and perhaps the story grew as it was passed along. If really is true that's very unfortunate for the little girl, but not something I'd risk making a huge stink over. Don't get me wrong-I am NOT condoning what the parents are doing at all..I'm just saying that some things are worth the fight, and others probably aren't.

Well I have seen the little boy being left outside alone.

Also, The parents told my Husband the reason that the girl is grounded.

I am not making a mountain out of a molehill. I would call CSD, but I don't think they will actually 'help', and I certainly wouldn't wish CSD involvement on my worst enemy. What these parents are doing would definately be considered neglect according to our laws in Oregon. We are in the middle of the city, with busy roads on all sides of us. They do not have a fenced yard and they are expecting that a 5 year old is capable of supervising the 2 year old for extended periods of time. Outdoors. With no adults.

The 2 year old wandered into the VERY busy road in front of their house, and according to the mother he was nearly hit by a car. I am surprised that he wasn't hit.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can possibly say something to the parents about how concerned I am? We are not 'friends', but our kids hang out a lot and we have always had pleasant interactions with them.

I am not willing to just ignore this. I am really hoping for ideas and advice on how to approach the parents.

 

[musikat]

Is there any way you could work into casual conversation something about how your daughter is too young and irresponsible at her age to watch HER younger sibling? Maybe if they hear another parent say it about their own kids, it will make them think about what their expectations are. If she is their oldest it can SEEM like she is older and responsible in comparasin to the "baby." They may not realize, although you would think after what happened they would get a clue!

My own 5 year old took my 2 year old out on our upstairs balcony the other day. It is fenced with wood and chicken wire, but there are chairs they could have stood on. WE informed him that he was too young to supervise his brother out there (inspite of what HE thought

). I would never allow him -- or even my 7 year old -- to take the two year old outside alone. And we live on a cul de sac off a residential street!

 

[Boot]

Not sure what your schedule is like but could you say something like 'hey, I heard what happened the other day with your little one running on to the street. You must have been so scared, that street really concerns me too. I'd be happy to help watch your lo any time I'm out there with mine. They can get away so quick can't they?'. It sounds like the parents know that letting the 5 year old watch him wasn't a good idea. Hopefully they're open to looking for other solutions.

Do you have a backyard that they could play in even if you're not home? Is there any way the two families could work together on fencing in a safe area?

If you speak to them from a place of concern and willingness to help, rather than judgement, I'm sure they will respond well. You sound like a kind person so I think you will handle it beautifully.

 

[weliveintheforest]

Ah, that is way worse than I thought from your first post

I am not sure what I would say, but I think you are right to say something.

 

[purplemoon]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boot Not sure what your schedule is like but could you say something like 'hey, I heard what happened the other day with your little one running on to the street. You must have been so scared, that street really concerns me too. I'd be happy to help watch your lo any time I'm out there with mine. They can get away so quick can't they?'. It sounds like the parents know that letting the 5 year old watch him wasn't a good idea. Hopefully they're open to looking for other solutions. Do you have a backyard that they could play in even if you're not home? Is there any way the two families could work together on fencing in a safe area? If you speak to them from a place of concern and willingness to help, rather than judgement, I'm sure they will respond well. You sound like a kind person so I think you will handle it beautifully.