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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A WWYD- help me be realistic. If you were the working mom in a WOH/SAH partnership would you leave work early for every vaccine appt for an infant (if you chose to vaccinate) to be there too? Or would you expect the stay at home parent to do so alone, at least some of the times? keep in mind that for our baby nursing doesn't make a difference during/after vaccinations, just snuggles.<br><br>
Thanks
 

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I would say no. There are a lot of those appointments, and I would assume that the other parent would be adept at kissing boo-boos.<br><br>
I would consider going to a few, especially if you are selectively vaxing, just to have some conversations with the dr about it, but if I were the SAHP, I wouldn't expect the WOHP to go to each and every appointment.
 

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depends how many vax appts - if you are splitting them or just combining them with well-baby.<br><br>
My DH was very supportive - he was at 90% of all appts for my son - vax, sick appt, whatever. He didn't have to be, but I appreciated it. I think I took vax appts harder than my son <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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no. that is weird. I suppose it supports the SAHP or something. I was the SAHP and when we did well-child visitis I didn't find the need or interest to have an extra person there. Maybe your partner needs your support and is using this issue? Maybe they can't speak up to the dr if they need to so want their assertive half there?<br><br>
I don;t think this is about the baby or visit, JMHO
 

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I wanted my partner to come for blood draws to help distract my toddler because that is a bigger deal and it really helps to have one parent hold the child and the other right in front of them. A shot is quick and I wouldn't see the need for two parents...maybe at the first one.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Rockies5</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14746008"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I was the SAHP and when we did well-child visitis I didn't find the need or interest to have an extra person there.</div>
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same. It never occurred to me to ask my partner to miss school/work to be in attendance.
 

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If you and your DP are on the same page regarding vaxes, then I'd guess the SAH parent should deal with it. If your DP does not approve of what you've decided, then you should deal with it.
 

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I have and continue to do so... BUT...<br><br>
Last school year I lived in a small village. DH would walk up with DS, then we'd go over to the clinic together. We lived the equivalent of a city block from my work, and it was another city-block-equivalent to the clinic. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
This year, it's a bit further (seven minute drive from home for him to come pick me up, less-than-five minute drive to the clinic), but we continue to do so since my boss says that such things don't even need to be counted into sick leave unless they take longer than an hour and are infrequent (and now that he's not an itty-bitty anymore, they are infrequent).<br><br>
Also, DH is not comfortable being *the* parent at an exam. He'll do it, and has done it when necessary, but prefers not to, for a variety of personality-based reasons. He has many, many strengths, being *the* parent at the doctor isn't one of them.<br><br>
In another situation, I'd probably say no, he could do them himself. But we've lucked into a a very flexible work situation for me, and so we take advantage of it.
 

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This actually came up the other day. When my son first started going to his well visits I would take him while my husband was at work. Well, we've switched places and he had an appointment while I was at work. As unnecessary as it seems... I took work off to go to the appointment because my husband didn't feel comfortable going alone and I didn't feel comfortable not being there.<br><br>
Maybe I am just a bit of a control freak and I always need to know what's going on and what's being discussed, especially with the docs (we don't vaccinate and I've done the research to make the decision, my husband supports it fully but doesn't have the responses ready when questions are asked).<br><br>
Thankfully, my job is pretty supportive of me taking time off. Otherwise I'd plan appointments differently or just tell my husband to go alone.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thank you all, i think we worked the situation out but i really wanted a baseline from some other moms. I will try to show up for most of them for him but won't logistically be able to for every single one and he will work with that. Keep adding thoughts though! I am really appreciating everyone's perspectives as a new WOHM trying to figure this whole situation out.
 

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I am a WOHM and DH is a SAHD. I go to all of our infant's vax appointments, and probably will until she is weaned. If there was no way I could make if due to work, I am sure she would survive, but I schedule the appointments so I can be there to nurse her.
 
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