[NolaRiordan]

So I signed up for match again. They send you these daily e-mails of guys they suggest you match with. On my list for today was the X of someone I know IRL. I just thought it was kind of funny but then I looked at the photos. He has some pictures of himself with their kids. I guess it's not that big a deal but if I found out my X did that I would be ticked, and I am guessing she would not be really pleased about this either. Am wondering if I should mention this to her or if I am over reacting and / or I need to just mind my own business.

 

[Ione]

How much of an X is he? And can anyone who has *not* joined Match or is not logged into Match see the pictures with the kids?

If they are recently split, not yet divorced, etc. and him dating could be a factor in all that, I'd probably let her know. And then refused to get any deeper involved (i.e. she can't use my account to stalk him online, etc.).

If they've been split for a long(ish) time and are officially and legally over, than his having a profile on Match is legit and none of her business and irrelevant, really. And I wouldn't mention it. Drama for nothing, IMO. Even with the kids in his pictures.

Unless, of course, the pictures would be inappropriate for even a married couple to post of their kids online (facebook or wherever) and/or come with enough identifying information to make the kids easy to find. In which case, I would probably say something directly to him about it if I thought he was just clueless.

The only way I would mention it to her is if he was someone I was interested in dating. And then, the conversation wouldn't be about him having a Match account or the types of pictures he included in his profile... but about the fact that I was interested in her ex and how she would feel about my attempting to act on that interest.

 

[Phoenix~Mama]

I think Ione covers all the logical stuff.

For me personally... I don't see what the big deal is. He is their father... I personally did not feel comfy having pics of my kids on a dating site... but I do post pics of my kids on facebook, as I know EX does too. They are his kids too. *shrugs*

 

[NolaRiordan]

I guess I've just always felt it wasn't right somehow when people post pictures of their kids on dating sites. So when I saw kids that I know it really struck me. OK I'll go back to minding my own business and shut up about this one.

 

[doubledutch]

i'm with you nola, i don't understand why people do that - but i don't think she can really do anything about it, so i wouldn't bother saying anything.

 

[rubelin]

lots of guys do it and I have posted pics with my kids but I only use ones from when they were babies (and not distinguishable) or blur their faces and only used them because I had no current pics of myself that didn't have a kid in my lap =) If a guy has only pics of himself with kids, I'm kind of turned off but one or two in addition to several other solo shots is fine with me. It can be hard for a parent to have pictures that don't include kids.

 

[sparklefairy]

Photos with kids annoy me too. It think it's creepy and inappropriate, but also it feels like an emotional manipulation -- "look at what a great dad I am!"

 

[MamitaM]

Kids don't belong on a dating site. That's it plain and simple. Tell the friend.

 

[SoulCakes]

I don't think telling the friend would accomplish anything good, but it could accomplish a whole lot of animosity. She can't make him take the photos down. At best, she won't care, and at worst, they'll get in a huge and unnecessary fight. This is very clearly a "none of my business" situation.