Mothering Forum banner

1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
116 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello,<br>
Dh and I are struggling with the best decision on who to have be at our homebirth to support dd who is 4. Originally we were going to have my good friend there since I was her dd's support person for their homebirth. I asked her again about it, and she didn't seem confident that she would be able to be there for more than a couple of hours at a time because her 16 month old is still nursing and would need her. So, I contacted our doula that we had used for dd's hospital birth. She didn't seem really excited to be hired to be with our dd instead of being a doula. We don't have family close or any close friends we would feel comfortable asking either. So, would you have the friend come for as much of it as she could even if that meant her leaving for an hour here and there, possibly even for longer? Or interviewing other doulas? Or hiring our previous doula and have her and dh take turns hanging out with dd? I'm not so much worried about if everything goes smoothly and we are at home the whole time. I'm worried about if for some reason we needed to go to the hospital quickly, I would want dd to feel safe and comforted. Sorry this got so long, any advice is appreciated. Thanks!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
252 Posts
Could your friend bring her baby, or take your dd home with her when you go into labor? I understand if you want dd there when you have the new baby, but will it be better for her to be with a friend she knows well until baby is actually born? Just a thought. Good luck! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,406 Posts
Mine will only be 22 months so I'm not exactly sure how helpful I am but I TOTALLY understand you wanting her there with you. When we interviewed our midwife that was one of the things she said, most mothers do better with their children at home with the family rather than out and about. She said she's noticed those mamas are calmer and more focused on labor.<br><br>
Anyhow, what about buying some new movies and not watching them until your friend has to leave?? Or some toys or a computer game she could play by herself?? Maybe when your friend has to leave she could get her set up with entertainment?? Would your friend be able to come back maybe after a short time away??<br><br>
Honestly, my plan is to visualize me labor happening over night. Last time my labor was almost exactly how I "planned" it to be. I imagine her waking up to the baby crowning and missing most of the drama. My mom is on call as back-up but I really really hope we won't need her. I kinda don't want her here but she is the only one who can stay at the house and that is super important to us.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
269 Posts
Talk to the doula again, you definitely need an extra person there - making sure your other children are taken care of is one of the biggest ways to comfort/take care of the mother, honestly! Even if it means your hubby and the doula switching off helping you/helping dd...<br><br>
I didn't know what to do about my first homebirth, I knew my midwife was bringing an assistant and our apt. was TINY, so I ended up not even calling on the doula I had lined up, I just didn't want any more people crammed into the apartment once I went into actual labor. I had some friends that I was going to call on to come get my kids (who were 5 and 3) if I had a daytime labor, but I ended up laboring in the night and they slept the entire time. Point being, you never know how these things will work out. My midwife is just bringing along TWO assitants this time, one with the understanding that she may be called upon to distract children, and I will just play it by ear, see how it works out. The extra assistant is happy to be present at a homebirth, wants the experience, etc., and my kids happen to be very outgoing, warm up to strangers fast... so I'll guess we'll see.
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
Top