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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok so DH and I are trying to figure out what to do, the situation is as follows:

DH's grandfather (H) passed away in early Feb. He had been sick but I think we were all still suprised by how fast it happened. H and DH's grandmother were both widowers and remarried with adult children and there is a bit of tension between the adult children and GMIL.

GMIL wants to sell the house they shared very soon, thus it needs to be cleaned out, there are many items that DH wants, and many family heirlooms from GMIL's side of the family that we are being offered, but we have to come and get them in person.

The house is located 3 hrs away (ok now 3.5 to 4hrs with all my bathroom stops) MIL and FIL live about 15 min away from that.

The problem is they want us to come down soon, they had mentioned DH's birthday weekend (I would be 38 weeks then) Obviously my answer all along has been that I would check with my midwife and make sure she was alright with me traveling that far away that close to my due date. But the latest request from the ILs was for a FIRM date that we could come down. I'm trying to have DH let them know that what ever date we pick could result in me staying home depending on how I feel.

This trip will require us to rent a moving trailer and return home with more items that we could possible store in our house. However many of them do have sentimential value or have been in the family for a couple generations (To me it's important to keep the family items in the family)

We still have a lot to do to get ready for the baby (need a co sleeper and room to put it in, the baby's room (for changing table, clothes diapers eventual crib) is still being painted and trim work needs to be done. Plus for about 3 or so weeks now I have had alot of BH contractions, not always bad but there have been times when they wake me up or have me doubled over in pain. Plus I tend to get them most when there is any activity on my part, even walking to the bathroom, or riding in the car.

How far along have any of you felt comfortable being that far away from your provider/ birthing location? Also at what point is it reasonable for me to just put my foot down and stay home?

I understand that all of this had been very hard on GMIL and that she wants to deal with it very fast, but am I being unreasonable for wanting to concentrate on our LO, am I being selfish?

Sorry this is long, guess I am just feeling cranky! I think I really need to nest but really haven't been able to lately and i's stressing me out.
 

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I would not go at 38 weeks. Its too risky and you could go into labour. I know from experience that going into labour out of area is not fun. When i went into PTL i was 4 hours away and because we are military we got sent all over the state before we even got seen and that was at 20 weeks. I would stay home and rest and let your DH go.
 

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38 weeks would be cutting it too close for my personal comfort.

I understand that you have a lot on the go at the moment, but if this trip is really important for you and your DH to take together, could you drop everything and go sort of like... Now? LIke this weekend or something?
 

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It is a personal choice. There is nothing phisicaly wrong with going just take it easy move around often and keep hydrated you will be fine. What are your chances of going into labor, who knows, you could go another 4 weeks. If you stayed home and dh left would you worry about him not getting back in time if something should happen? Would you feel better if even though you were away togather and labor happened? How much does it really mean to you, not to sound rude. You have to do what feels right to you.
 

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It is a personal choice and I believe this is your first baby? If all you were going to do on the trip is watch I recommend that you stay home and have someone come and spend the day with you, just in case. I would not make that car trip even with stops, just in case. In the event that you do go in to labor that day, you would be home, and because it's a first baby hopefully your dh would be able to jump in the car and make it home in time.

That is my personal opinion. It is just too close for comfort for me, and a 4 hour drive while in labor would not be fun. And the ride might not cause the labor but I know that when I am stressed out, as you might be amidst the family tension, I get my BH then if I am mellow.
 

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i actually would go. if i feel strongly about something i have to be there kinda thing, at 38 weeks i would go but none of my kids where born before 40 weeks so i would feel good knowing that i had 2 more weeks pretty much.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
At least I know I'm not being crazy now.

PajamaMama - Thank you, I hadn't even considered insurance coverage if I went into labor out of town.

We couldn't go this weekend, but we are looking into going earlier than DH's b-day, but then I would be 36/37 weeks pregnant, still make me uncomfortable, but I want to see what my MW says too.

I have no problem staying home, I just would like to be there for DH if possible. Also I am supposed to be picking out what we want from the house (furniture, decorations etc.) I would be in no way helping move or load anything. The trip isn't as important to me as saving the family possension that have meaning to them, GMIL will give away or throw away anything we don't take (frustrating and a tension creator).

I think part of me is frustrated that IL's can't take the items that are imoprtant family wise and at least store them until after the baby comes or something to help us out as well.

I just need to make sure it wasn't unreasonable to put my foot down about staying home at a certian point.

Thank you mama's for making me feel less selfish.
 

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ok- I just have to say that when I was pg w/ my 3rd son. I went on a 3000 mile road trip. We came home and had him a couple weeks later. He was about 2 weeks early- but then, I was expecting him to come early, mine usually do. So in my mind, 3 or 4 hours is not very far.
I would have a harder time this time, just because I have edema this time, and I never did before- so the sitting didn't bother me, but it would now. My parents are 1 1/2 hours away and I plan on making a trip up there right before the baby is born--
I'm pretty comfortable having the baby whenever/where ever- but if I go into labor at their house, I will probably drive home. It just depends on how you feel about it. It's not selfish to stay home if that is what you want to do- everyone should be understanding, but if it's really important to be there w/ you dh- then go. Your mind will probably be too preoccupied with things to go into labor.
 

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Nope I wouldnt go at 38 weeks. I would let DH go since he could get back pretty fast. Provided you have someone nearby ( a neighbor, a relative, anyone) who you could call to help if you needed it ( a ride to the hospital, whatever)
 

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I wouldn't feel comfortable going then but I go into labor around 37 weeks so that would be pushing it. I wouldn't want to be in labor in the car all that time! I'd go now if you could or have dh go and do it alone and then speed home if you go into labor.
 

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That's too far for you I think, but check with your provider.

Perhaps just DH can go with his cell phone just in case something starts.
 
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