[~MoonGypsy~]

Well, not really MIL cause we're not married, but you get the drift.<br><br>
Basically she wrote me a two sentence email (not unusual for her) that she's been doing research and thinks that second baby showers are tacky. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nut.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nut"> Instead she wants to have a dinner party once baby gets here for the WHOLE family so they can meet the baby. Then she asks if I have any other ideas.<br><br><br>
First, I've already talked to her about having a Mother's Blessing and she basically shot me down and told me I was stupid. We don't need any gifts (our needs are large like a carseat etc) so I told her I want a party but no gifts. I was also hoping to drop in something about having everyone bring frozen meals. She obviously didn't like my idea, but the thought of throwing it myself is too overwhelming.<br><br>
I'm hesitant to take a baby somewhere for the sole purpose of everyone touching and oogling him - especially since it'll be cold/flu/RSV season. On top of that, baby will be about a month old at Christmas, which we normally spend at MILs. It's kinda iffy this year because we're feuding with my BIL and I absolutely positively REFUSE to be anywhere with a person that will steal a child's Trust Fund. So we may not be going there for Xmas.<br><br>
-catches breath- <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Anyway, how would you guys reply?<br>
Do you have any other ideas I could share with her?<br><br><br>
PS - This is the woman who paid the entire midwife fee for us, so I really do like her. Some of her ideas just don't jive with ours.

 

[ohiomommy1122]

Im not sure how I would reply. I do however agree that I would not want baby to be around a bunch of people soon after birth during cold/ flu season.

 

[Starr]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>~MoonGypsy~</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8946527"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Instead she wants to have a dinner party once baby gets here for the WHOLE family so they can meet the baby.</div>
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Take this for what its worth because we have huge issues with MIL thinking she needs to host OUR family events and over stepping certain areas. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> But I would say while you appreciate her offer when the time comes YOU will make sure that the family is able to meet your newest addition when the time is right.

 

[maisiedotes]

Is there anyone else that may give you a "shower" blessing party? Maybe you could do that and let your MIL give you a dinner party.<br><br>
I am due in late Nov and instead of a shower we are having a "meet the baby" party at my MIL's house a few months after she is born so we can get all the visitors out of the way at the same time, rather than having a steady stream of people in and out of our house. We still registered "just in case" and lo and behold alot of people are asking my mom and DH what we need...

 

[SheBear]

I would respond in a very gushing tone:<br><span style="color:#800080;"><br>
"Oh, MIL! That is such a great idea, and so kind of you to think about doing that for us! Wow, I'm really touched! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/happytears.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="happytears">: The only problem I can think of is how to schedule it, since this baby is due in December. That's just such a bad time for colds and sickness. Especially for tiny babies....we just can't risk something serious like RSV, so we are planning to stay home and hibernate as much as possible until the worst of the risk is passed.<br><br>
Tell ya what, Mom...let me talk to the midwife and see what she thinks would be a reasonable timeframe, and then we can plan something. Besides, if we wait a couple months, the baby will be so cute and more alert and smiling at people....I'll bet it would be a lot more fun when he's 10 or 12 weeks old!<br><br>
Oh, but you've gotten me so excited about it now! I know it will be such a great time, and I just can't wait! Thanks so much! Love and lots of juicy smooches, MoonGypsy"</span><br><br>
Yep, that's how I'd respond, LOL! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">

 

[artgoddess]

I like this, plus I would also include the info about how if the mother blessing is too much for her to handle you would be happy to get a friend or other relative to help with that.<br><br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SheBear</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8948070"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would respond in a very gushing tone:<br><span style="color:#800080;"><br>
"Oh, MIL! That is such a great idea, and so kind of you to think about doing that for us! Wow, I'm really touched! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/happytears.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="happytears">: The only problem I can think of is how to schedule it, since this baby is due in December. That's just such a bad time for colds and sickness. Especially for tiny babies....we just can't risk something serious like RSV, so we are planning to stay home and hibernate as much as possible until the worst of the risk is passed.<br><br>
Tell ya what, Mom...let me talk to the midwife and see what she thinks would be a reasonable timeframe, and then we can plan something. Besides, if we wait a couple months, the baby will be so cute and more alert and smiling at people....I'll bet it would be a lot more fun when he's 10 or 12 weeks old!<br><br>
Oh, but you've gotten me so excited about it now! I know it will be such a great time, and I just can't wait! Thanks so much! Love and lots of juicy smooches, MoonGypsy"</span><br><br>
Yep, that's how I'd respond, LOL! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"></div>
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[MCKH]

I love that response! How could she argue? I think that's a smart, friendly (and manipulative!) way to handle the situation. We are not allowing visitors for the first 8-10 weeks and possibly longer. This is for many reasons, the number one reason being yucky winter germs. I don't think anyone can deny that it's better to be safe than sorry with newborns during the cold and flu season.

 

[stellimamo]

We did a "meet the aby party" for dd when she was about 2 1/2 months old (granted it was not during cold/flu season). It really was very nice I got to see several people and they got to meet dd. It was all over and done with in 3 hours and not at my house. I will probably so something similiar with this baby at some point. I would just try to take as your MIL is trying to help out. But then again if it was my MIL that was telling me what to do I'd probably be a bit childish and throw a bit of a fit. But I'm prone to that when it comes to MIL. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">

 

[Ms. B. Sprout]

I think I would be <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: trying to put together a dinner party for the whole family having just given birth and caring for a newborn. For me, it would be well worth it to squirm out of MIL's idea in the manner <b>SheBear</b> suggested.<br><br>
Good luck finding the solution you're comfortable with. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/fingersx.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="fingersx">:

 

[ohiomommy1122]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SheBear</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8948070"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would respond in a very gushing tone:<br><span style="color:#800080;"><br>
"Oh, MIL! That is such a great idea, and so kind of you to think about doing that for us! Wow, I'm really touched! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/happytears.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="happytears">: The only problem I can think of is how to schedule it, since this baby is due in December. That's just such a bad time for colds and sickness. Especially for tiny babies....we just can't risk something serious like RSV, so we are planning to stay home and hibernate as much as possible until the worst of the risk is passed.<br><br>
Tell ya what, Mom...let me talk to the midwife and see what she thinks would be a reasonable timeframe, and then we can plan something. Besides, if we wait a couple months, the baby will be so cute and more alert and smiling at people....I'll bet it would be a lot more fun when he's 10 or 12 weeks old!<br><br>
Oh, but you've gotten me so excited about it now! I know it will be such a great time, and I just can't wait! Thanks so much! Love and lots of juicy smooches, MoonGypsy"</span><br><br>
Yep, that's how I'd respond, LOL! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"></div>
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I do like how you put that!

 

[YummyYumYumMama]

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SheBear</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8948070"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Yep, that's how I'd respond, LOL! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"></div>
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All right - I am calling on you next time I need to gracefully extract myself from a situation. I would just be pissy about it and bitch and moan to my husband and have no idea how to word it to my MIL without offending her.

 

[SheBear]

Oh, I'd prolly be pissy and bitch about it too, but when it comes to actually responding to her.....well, i just have to think "Hey, free food! And possibly gifts!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Ummm.....am I really that shallow? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/disappointed.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="disappointed"> Unfortunately, I'm afraid that I am! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blush.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blush"><br><br>
PS...In reality, I prolly would draw the line at the "juicy smooches" part. She'd know I was up to something if I actually said that! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">

 

[Throkmorton]

How about keeping it short and sweet?<br><br>
"Dear MIL,<br>
Thank you for the offer to organize a dinner party so everyone can meet the baby. Unfortunately, my care provider strongly recommends against taking DD out in large groups until the end of RSV season, roughly around the end of February.<br>
Sincerely, DIL"<br><br>
Notice how it also gives you an "out" for Christmas, should you not want to go.