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OK I have to try to keep this as minimally-detailed as possible, I know I'm not as anonymous as I might want to be.<br><br>
I have 3 options for this current birth.<br><br>
One is to go to a CNM I love. But I don't want to be in the hospital. I really don't. (and it of course is the most expensive option)<br><br>
Two is the CPM I used last time. CPM's are not legal in my state, so I still have to leave home. The birth was not an experience I'd like to repeat. I don't think it had to be handled the way it was, but I wasn't given other options.<br>
TO add to it, I have heard several stories that concern me...some I knew before and I felt that because *I* would not have made the same choices those people did, I'd be OK.<br>
BUT....I did not have a doula at that birth. I would like to have the doula I used before at this upcoming birth. She will not attend if I go to this CPM. And I really don't think I want to go back to her without a doula.<br><br>
Three is the possibility that there will be a CNM doing homebirths--LEGALLY--in my area before I have this baby. I have not heard a *for certain* on this or met this person. She's not here yet. My doula *will* attend with this option, even without knowing who this person is....part of it is we will be much closer to a hospital should we need it.<br><br>
but...again, what if for some reason I don't like this CNM? What if she's going to refuse all people who don't do all the testing? (I have heard of this.)<br><br>
Maybe I should quit what-if/ing and just meet the woman <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Is it a sign that I need to not go back to the CPM if I don't want to do it without a doula? Do I just find a different doula and go? I'm also not really sure I want to do that. Maybe with the right doula. Would depend.<br><br>
I don't want to be in the hospital because I don't want to stay longer than a few hours. The last hospital birth I had, I was GBS-positive and didn't get antibiotics in the timeline they wanted before the birth, so we sat there for 2 days so they could take her freakin' temp. I can do that myself, thanks. But if I left and there *was* eventually a problem, they could've gotten my insurance not to cover it--AMA.<br>
I've been told I'll now always be considered GBS-positive.<br><br>
Should I just revisit that with my hospital-CNM? but I really don't *Want* the hospital and I was very glad NOT to have it with DS2 as he took awhile to get going on nursing and it was *fabulous* to be able to handle that with nobody breathing down my neck and shoving formula at us.<br><br>
wwyd?
 

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With that kind of past experience, and that degree of reservations, I would definitely NOT go back to the CPM you mentioned....yes, 'its a sign'!<br><br>
Do meet the unknown CNM--couldn't hurt, could it?
 
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