X and his crazy scene

717 Views 7 Replies 7 Participants Last post by faerygirl36, Jun 10, 2005

green

Discussion Starter · Jun 1, 2005

He is leading quite an unstable life. He called the other night for the first time in a couple of weeks. He has moved to canada. He was supposed to have a court hearing for failure to pay child support (he has not paid in about a year) but they cancelled that because he was not physically served with the papers. He continues to state that he cannot find a job... but the real truth is that his extra curricular activities keep him from getting a job.

He is living with a woman and according to him "it is really cheap for me here because she pays for everything".

I have to share that I feel such a sense of relief 1) he is in Canada! (so far from me and the boys) 2) he has someone to occupy his time. #1 is by far the greatest one. I do miss him. How can you spend 15 years with someone and not miss them? But I am so relieved to be separated/divorced from his crazy scene and him.

Of course my oldest ds (6) does miss him from time to time but we talk about choices. and I work on doing my best.

I know there are a lot of different situations with women on this board and I just wanted to share my relief. And my amazement at the instability of someone I spent 15 years with!!! wow, what was I thinking?

Peace to all

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L.J.

· #2 · Jun 1, 2005

I think it's safe to say that most of us here have had those "what were we thinking" moments!

I'm glad for your sake, if he's that unstable, that he's not going to be in the picture for awhile. I know the best times we've had were the 5 months when my ex didn't see the kids. I know it's confusing for the kids, but it was so much easier on all of us to not have him confusing things all the time.

It sounds like you're doing well. It is difficult to end a relationship. You'll heal and move on when you've grieved the end of your time together and the thoughts of what would have been. It does get easier as time marches on.

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green

Discussion Starter · #3 · Jun 2, 2005

Thank you L.J. from the bottom of my heart. You seem like such a voice of reason within all this instability! I knew someone would understand. I cannot express the relief that I feel that my x is in canada. I don't have that gnawing, sometimes irrational fear that he will show up at my doorstep and DEMAND to take the boys.

Anyway,

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BowNessMonster

· #4 · Jun 2, 2005

I have a "what was I thinking" decade LOL. My ex is a province away, and although I really felt he should have stayed in the city to be a real part of dd's life, I am soooo glad he's far away. That way we can be "friends" without seeing each other teehee.

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annarbor931

· #5 · Jun 2, 2005

Sometimes, I wish I didn't have those what the heck was I thinking moments. Despite them, I sometimes miss the idea of him rather than the reality. The fantasy was always better. My STBX and I dated for 7 years and have been married for almost 2. I filed for divorce in Dec 04 because he was demanding one, was verbally abusive and began having an affair to punish me for hurting him. Mind you, I have no idea what I did to him other than get involved with a very disturbed man (but that is another issue).

He has been in and out of the hospital and treatment for a very serious mental illness since Nov 04, but despite the illness and feeling sorry for him, I have come to see that my son and I can't function in his world. I often wish he would move away but he hasn't. I used to think that my son had to have his Dad around but I am not sure that he will do anything but hurt him now. It is so sad. Good luck to you guys and I hope you find some peace for yourself soon. Take care!!!

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Raynbow

· #6 · Jun 2, 2005

Oh, please... relief that your ex is in Canada?

I was jumping for joy when I heard mine was no longer a recruiter - still enlisted, but not a recruiter. Why, you ask, was I so happy? Because, recruiters aren't deployable...

How bad is that? I'd be very happy to see him deployed, where maybe he could get his priorities straightened out and couldn't cause anymore harm to his offspring.

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Ruthla

· #7 · Jun 2, 2005

I can totally relate green!!

I have no clue where my stbx is living at the moment, though I do beleive he needs to stay in the county as a provision of his probation. I managed to get his most recent known address from the police detective who most recently investigated him, and that's good enough for filing for divorce. Now I just need to wait for my attorney's family emergency to be over so she can actually work on my case!!

There's nothing "evil" about being releived that he's left the country and moved onto his next victim. It just makes you human.

Jack wants to type his name. jack jack

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faerygirl36

· #8 · Jun 10, 2005

Let me tell you, dear friend, that you are not alone. My ex started an online affair through a game room. Five months after they became sexually involved he decided that our marriage counselling wasn't working and asked for a divorce. Now, three months later, I find out that they're swapping partners with others from an Intimate Encounters web ad, that by the way, has been up since before he left me. He and his girlfriend have plans to live together as soon as our house is sold and I've moved away with the kids to another province.

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