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I haven't spoken to my mother in about six months. My whole life she has been physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive. Now that she can't physically hurt me anymore, the other two abuses have escalated. I noticed after DS turned 2 that she was starting in on him. She's always undermined my parenting in various little ways, then she started in on the body shame (getting all worked up when he was naked, refusing to say the word penis, etc) and demeaning my religion, telling my aunts to whisper prayers in his ears. She freely admits that she will never stop trying to covert me and DS and sees no problem in telling him that his mom is dragging him to hell. At that point, I decided to cut her out of my life not only for my sake but for DS's.<br><br>
I found out today that XH took DS to see her. I knew he had gone by the house when he was in town, but he told me that my dad was the only one home. My dad called and told me that he gave XH some money for me, so when I saw him today, I asked for it. It was in a card in which my mom had written "Thank you for letting us see Taylor. Hope you'll be with him next time." It took five minutes of wheedling to get XH to admit that she actually was there and that he took DS by because she offered him $50 for gas.<br><br>
I don't think XH thinks it's a big deal. He can recite the reasons I don't want DS around her, but he doesn't understand why it hurts to be demeaned, told you're not good enough, told you're worshipping Satan, etc, for 24 years before finally breaking free. He's seen me cry over it countless times but the damage just doesn't click with him because he had such a good relationship with his mom. He was so devastated when she died - I could never admit to him that I envied him because if my mom died I wouldn't have to deal with not being able to see my family because she'd be there.<br><br>
I guess this is just a vent, but any advice would be appreciated. I talked to him today about why I don't want DS around my mom and begged him not to take him there again. Other than that, I don't know what to do.
 
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