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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello!<br>
Just found out I was mit baby this morning <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">: Due around August 10.<br>
I am ecstatic, but my DH didn't really even respond when I told him <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:<br>
We were TTC, and this is #2. Our son is 2.5. When we got pregnant with him it was a surprise and DH didn't take it too well, as he was away working in Alaska at the time. I thought it was just the shock. He has been absolutely depressed today. I wanted this to be the best day ever..... I thought since we were trying, we would be happy when we did conceive- isn't that how it's suppose to be?<br>
It seems he is upset that he will have to look for work in the not so promising marine biology field. Right now I am running my own Waldorf preschool, and he is my assistant (stressful for me, not him) He says I shouldn't "quit" and I am telling him that most teachers take a maternity leave (which means at least a year, since it's hard to pop in mid year)<br>
He is also saying random things like "I don't like babies that much"<br>
I am a little beside myself.<br><br>
I'm sure things will get better, it's just the first day <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br>
anyone else have a not so sure DH?<br><br>
It snowed on Vashon Island (outside of Seattle) today! It's rare, so I had a special day anyway.<br><br>
I'm glad to have a due date mama group, wish I would have had one the first time.<br><br>
Congratulations everyone!
 

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My dh wasnt exactly thrilled, but he's coming around. Our youngest just turned one 2 weeks ago, so I think it was more the two babies under 2 shock for him.
 

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My DH doesn't handle change very well. He also doesn't handle emotions very well (bad childhood). If he is scared or sad or worried, it all comes out as anger instead of whatever the emotion actually is.<br><br>
This was a complete surprise. I just had a "feeling" and found an old pg test in the bathroom so went for it and POAS. It was early in the morning and we had just gotten up. He was sitting in the bedroom checking his email and I walked out and said "Um honey, this pregnancy test is positive". He was shocked to say the least.<br><br>
Later that day we got into an argument over the Christmas tree (which really wasn't over the Christmas tree but over the baby instead, I've learned to read between the lines) and it all came out. He was scared, he didn't know if we had enough money (who ever does?), would it love him (your other two adore you, of course it will), etc. Once we talked he seems fine.<br><br>
Give him some time. Men don't always process things the way we do (an understatement <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">).
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Slabobbin</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9888760"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My DH doesn't handle change very well. He also doesn't handle emotions very well (bad childhood). If he is scared or sad or worried, it all comes out as anger instead of whatever the emotion actually is.</div>
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Sounds like my DP exactly <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I'm excited enough for the both of us I think.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Ahh, Day two was much better.<br><br>
Thanks for this:<br>
"Give him some time. Men don't always process things the way we do (an understatement ). "<br><br>
True that.<br><br>
What a weekend, we just had a storm and power outtage for 7 hours, there's suppose to be a bigger storm tonight!<br><br>
My DH took a day to process and is feeling much better, we also worked out some work/money issues to both of our liking, so now everything seems great.<br><br>
Thanks for your replies!
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Slabobbin</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9888760"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Give him some time. Men don't always process things the way we do (an understatement <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">).</div>
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Ha, well, I don't have a DH, but I do have a girlfriend, and I can tell you, sometimes women don't process things the way we do either!<br><br>
Yes, my girlfriend has been incredibly underwhelmed at the thought of this baby. And of course, I certainly didn't get pregnant by accident- this has been a long process of inseminations, frozen sperm, etc. I think though that it just wasn't real to her until I actually got my BFP.<br><br>
We are in a very different situation than many of you. We started dating a year ago, before I started ttc, but after I had decided that I was going to. So, I'm in this funny place where I'm becoming a single parent by choice, and yet, I'm not really single.<br><br>
She feels that as the pregnancy progresses, her feelings will change. Right now though, she's very scared and sad about the changes that are coming, and doesn't feel ready. I, of course, am torn between trying to respect what she's feeling and where she's coming from, and feeling so sad that the person I love isn't doing cartwheels of excitement and patting my stomach all of the time.<br><br>
Anyway, thank you all for sharing. It's really helpful for me to know that even people in my long-standing partnerships who conceive together often have some fears or ambivalence about pregnancy.
 

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That's why I'm not telling DH until after the new year (hopefully Valentine's Day). With Christmas and Property Taxes due at the end of Dec he would completely stress about money. I went to the library last week and got several financial books on how to cut expenses and get out of debt (we have minimal cc debt but still have student loans and house loan). I'm hoping to get some Dave Ramsey CDs from a friend.<br><br>
My way of thinking says is that really what you are going to remember 10 years from now when you think back to this time? Hopefully not. I don't usually remember the minor little day to day details like paying bills. I remember the milestones and joy that my family brings me. DH is 35 and I am 34 so we really don't have the time to keep putting off having a family. We are in better financial shape than most our friends but DH still stresses about it. I'm glad he's like that in a way but I wish he could enjoy his life more than he does.
 
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