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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The day before my ultrasound (it was on Thursday), I brought up not circ'ing (just the thought of cutting a baby's penis makes me feel ill). My husband is circ'ed, so at first he was hesitant, but thanks to MDC I showed him a bunch of links I found posted here about why we shouldn't do it. And he agrees! So we went to the ultrasound, and we are most definitely having a boy! We're very excited, and I'm so relieved that we're already settled on not circing. Last night we sat at the computer for a little while getting more general info on the topic, and DH was like, "Wow, I didn't know the foreskin actually DID so much." This is a big weight off my shoulders. Between CDing, non-vaxing, etc., this is the only thing my husband was a little iffy about. I'm so glad it worked out.
 

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Woo-hoo!

Don't forget to read through the Fleiss article from Mothering on protecting your intact boy from medical professionals. Fore(skin)warned is forearmed!
 

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My DH agreed with me about not circumcising as well, but for weeks after our discussion, a whole process happened for him, and it may hapopen with your DH, as well, so be sensitive to it/watch for it.

For my DH, the process changed quickly from being about a potential son to being about him...it became personal. I'd see him on the computer every so often concentrating hard, his brow furrowed, and since he usually reads about sports, I knew something was up (bc sports doesn't require that much concentration, heh). Then eventually he'd make a comment very similar to your husband's. I think that's what really pisses him off.....finding out what he's missing by not having a foreskin. I just sort of sat back and let the process happen for him, bc I knew it was inevitable. For awhile, I had to balance being very pissed about the whole circumcision thang (I was clueless before and was going through my own shock and disgust regarding it) and being sensitive to a sort of paradigm shift that was happening with DH. It was difficult and sad sometimes to see the process he went through, and I tried to put myself in his shoes as much as possible. He will probably restore- so that might help his bad feelings I think- but I also think that leaving our son intact went a long way to making him feel better about the situation.

Whenever I read where people say that they've never heard of any male getting upset or angry bc they're circumcised, I get upset bc I know my DH is less than thrilled about his own circumcision, and about the whole thing, in general.

Oh and CONGRATS to you and your DH for making an awesome decision and on your upcoming kiddo!
 

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: to what InDaPhunk said.


When my DH found out about the studies/theories about the effects of circumcision on sexual relationships/health for both men and women, it really upset him. He loves his parents and knows that what they did was the norm at the time, but then he's also missing something that he can never get back. It causes a lot of mental anguish to have such conflicting feelings about one's parents.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I thought about that a lot, too, his reactions about his own circ. He was adopted, so his was done before his parents even had him. His mom (I LOVE this woman -- I couldn't have asked for a better MIL) has always been very crunchy, and is thrilled we're not circing or vaxing, having a homebirth, etc. So he said he doesn't have any bad feelings towards his parents, because it's highly unlikely they would have chosen to do it. But you all are right, he was sort of like, "Hey, why the hell did all of us get cut?!" I really tried when talking about how important it is to keep our son intact, to make it clear that I didn't think his penis is "inferior" because he's circ'ed (because obviously he had no say in the matter when it happened, so there's no way he could be "blamed" for it).

I'll keep an eye on the situation and talk to him about it some more. I can imagine they (husbands) do get very conflicted/upset about all of this.
 

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I actually DREADED bringing it up with DH...my 2 oldest are circ'ed & he's always said any son if his would be...so I finally bit the bullet & said something. He said that he would be happy to do what I want, since it's important to me.
THEN, on his OWN...without me knowing...he researched & came to me & said he was glad I looked into it & it's the right choice to make!!
I just
adore
that man...
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Pariah
The day before my ultrasound (it was on Thursday), I brought up not circ'ing (just the thought of cutting a baby's penis makes me feel ill). My husband is circ'ed, so at first he was hesitant, but thanks to MDC I showed him a bunch of links I found posted here about why we shouldn't do it. And he agrees!
That rocks! Congrats!!!!
 
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