[RachelGS]

I recently found out that my second baby is a boy, and I was dreading the circ discussion with my husband. For our first baby, who mercifully turned out to be a girl, he was pretty insistent that we circ if we had a boy. He is Jewish and his family feels pretty strongly about circumcision. By now I know enough about it to have been quite certain going in that I wasn't going to let anybody amputate part of my baby's body, but I thought that we were going to have a huge pile of arguments about it. But the night we found out we're having a boy, I brought it up and DH said he didn't think it was worth fighting as it was obvious that I wasn't going to be willing to do it.

He does want to pass his family along to me, though, when they ask questions and complain. Can other Jewish / interfaith families weigh in on handling the decision to leave your baby intact?

 

[AngelBee]

No advice.....just wanted to say I am glad dh is supporting your ds being intact.

 

[ChristaN]

No personal experience to add either, but I wanted to point you to this Mothering article if you haven't read it yet.

Also, you might find some information/support from Jews Against Circumcision .

I'm, too, am glad that your dh is supporting you even if he is pawning off the family discussions to you.

 

[zaftigmama]

We're Jewish and have an intact son. When people asked, and they did, my dh referred them to me because I was the one who put my foot down against circumcision. I told everyone the same thing - my son was Jewish regardless of his penis or foreskin. I didn't feel it was my choice to make and if he wants to be circumcised, he can feel free to make that decision when he was able to. It's not my decision to make. God made him absolutely perfect the way he was at birth.

Good luck and congratulations!

 

[wendy1221]

My husband is Jewish and I am not (yet). My older son is from a previous relationship. His bio dad was not Jewish but was more set on circ than my dh was! (Ds1 was not circ'd, btw. We weren't married and although he was insisting on it, the ped we saw after his birth told him flat out there was no reason to do it and he'd never find a doc willing to do it in the town we were in) My dh at least listened to me for the reasons WHY and calmly discussed the issue w/ me. We got the book, "Questioning Circumcision: A Jewish Perspective," by Ronald Goldman at Amazon. Dh read it and still hadn't made up his mind before ds's birth. He drives me crazy with this. Not making up his mind till the last minute that is. I was having nightmares about it!

Anyway, long story short, he decided not to do it, much to my relief. I don't think I would have allowed it to be done. According to Reform Judaism, our children (including my older son whom dh is in the process of adopting) are Jewish because they are being raised Jewish. They might have problems if one wants to marry an Orthodox Jew when they grow up, but really what are the chances of that? Also, since then dh has told me how glad he is that we didn't do it and how perfect our little boys are. He's so sweet!

We were very worried about his parents' reaction. When his mom came out to help us when ds was about a month old and found out we hadn't had it done, she told me that the bris was the worst thing she'd had to go through as a parent. She said she though male and female circ were exactly the same, it's barbaric, etc, etc, but she hadn't had the courage to speak out for her boys (she had 4). I feel really bad, it's almost like she's still carrying that guilt. FIL wasn't quite as supportive, but he didn't say much once we explained there weren't any medical benefits.

And now here we are with boy #3 on the way! It's a HUGE relief for me this pregnancy to not be having that old circ argument again!