Not sure where this belongs, and I don't even know what I'm looking for by posting it - but I'm having a rotten weekend. Went to a wedding last night, and there were at least 3 pregnant women there, and loads of kids. It was so hard to be happy and posative and cheerful when I was constantly reminded that I wasn't pregnant, and that I didnt have kids, and of course there is always the relatives poking and nudging asnd asking when we were gonna "make your mom a gramma" and all that junk. So I handled it like any good Irish girl would, and drank.
I drank lots, and around drink #4 I warned DH that I would not be driving home, and that I had to make a choice - if I couldn't be happy, I could at least be numb. I figured if I had a few drinks, I could fake it and dance and make merry, and hell - it's not like I'm pregnant, right?
So here I sit, I slept until noon, I still feel dizzy, I've drunk gallons of ice water, and I'm still sad, but at least I'm home and don't have to "put on a happy face" and I can sit and think and stew and be miserable.
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only woman in the world who isn't pregnant or a mom, when I can't find a tv show without kids or babies, r a magazine, or a book, or even a website. I know I'll be fine, but the few days of AF and knowing dman well I'm not pregnant, and wondering if I even can be, these first few days each 'cycle are just the worst for me. *sigh*