[ItyBty]

I see a HUGE dip from yesterday - is that a good or a bad thing? I'm still a chart-noob.

 

[sapphire_chan]

On DPO11 it could possibly be implantation, but is probably actually nothing. The little zigzag from CD18 to 20 is making this harder to read for me. The temp going back up is a good thing though, either way.

I hope this is it! Try not to be too impatient waiting!!

 

[ItyBty]

Nevermind.

:

AF showed up - and the b*itch decided to take out my favorite set of sheets on her way in. Boy today just started out sucking.

:

:

 

[frog]

Oh, I'm sorry.

 

[HopesMom]

I'm so sorry.

 

[funnygrace]

Oh Itybty! I'm so sorry!

 

[ItyBty]

Thanks. Just got off the phone with DH. This was our 11th time around - Last year on my birthday I realized I was 29, and I said I wanted to be a mom, or at least pregnant before I was 30. But I'll be 30 in 3 weeks, so thats not gonna happen. I know - arbitrary time limit, etc, but I just don't feel like I can take this much longer. I told DH I wanted to look into adoption and fertility treatments. I just want to be a mom, and I don't give a flip how it happens. I just know I can't take this trying, timing things right, and getting nothing from it anymore. I hate this! I hate that the midwife I saw last month told me to chart and "See what happens" and to come back in 3-4 months. I hate that she doesn't "get" my urgency, that I'm basically 30, and DH is 43, and we don't have that much time to make babies, and I want a HUGE family, and I want lots of kids, and I don't get why it's not happeneing. I'm just in a foul mood, and I'm upset, and i'm venting. Thanks for reading my ramblings.

:

 

[folaboye]

ItyBty:I'm so sorry.

: it work for you next cycle.

 

[HopesMom]

Can you try another midwife or doctor?

 

[txbikegrrl]

Sending hugs to you.

I felt similar last month, and have been lurking even since -- hoping to see many of you get BFPs as encouragement...

We've only been trying a few months, so I'm not suprised at all by your sense of "urgency" and in fact am sure I could not been half as patient.

Hope you feel a least a little better later.

 

[allisonrose]

I'm very sorry to hear that you had no luck this month.

Maybe you need to see an OB. Many in the infertility board would recommend seeing an RE instead of wasting time with someone not as knowledgable about infertility.

A website to search for REs in case you're interested:
http://www.socrei.org/SREImap.html

 

[sapphire_chan]

I'm sorry.

:

 

[ItyBty]

Not sure where this belongs, and I don't even know what I'm looking for by posting it - but I'm having a rotten weekend. Went to a wedding last night, and there were at least 3 pregnant women there, and loads of kids. It was so hard to be happy and posative and cheerful when I was constantly reminded that I wasn't pregnant, and that I didnt have kids, and of course there is always the relatives poking and nudging asnd asking when we were gonna "make your mom a gramma" and all that junk. So I handled it like any good Irish girl would, and drank.

I drank lots, and around drink #4 I warned DH that I would not be driving home, and that I had to make a choice - if I couldn't be happy, I could at least be numb. I figured if I had a few drinks, I could fake it and dance and make merry, and hell - it's not like I'm pregnant, right?

So here I sit, I slept until noon, I still feel dizzy, I've drunk gallons of ice water, and I'm still sad, but at least I'm home and don't have to "put on a happy face" and I can sit and think and stew and be miserable.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only woman in the world who isn't pregnant or a mom, when I can't find a tv show without kids or babies, r a magazine, or a book, or even a website. I know I'll be fine, but the few days of AF and knowing dman well I'm not pregnant, and wondering if I even can be, these first few days each 'cycle are just the worst for me. *sigh*