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I have filled out every ounce of paper work for filing for divorce. It has been checked, rechecked and rechecked again by both me and my Mother. I have filled it out to the best of my ability, though some info I don't have because something might have been in his name only, but the lawyer I talked to said that was okay, it happens, he will have to prove some things, etc.<br><br>
I have the money *that I earned all on my own, which makes me even more <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy"> about it* to pay for it.<br><br>
I have the time off to file it.<br><br>
So tomorrow at around 8:30ish AM, I am doing it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy"><br><br>
I dug out my Britney Spears CD with "Stronger" on it to play in the car <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Because it talks about "I'm not your property" and "I am stronger than yesterday".. etc. I feel strong right now. Really freaking strong <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/innocent.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shy"> And plus I heard her looks horrible, just horrible. And I look fabulous <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> Separating has been great for me, bad for him. So sorry for his bad luck <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy">
 

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Yay! What a thoroughly awesome place to be in!!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy"><br>
Yay!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy"><br><br>
How did it go this morning? I'm so happy for you!!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy">
 

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that is so fantastic! i love reading all your updates as you work toward this. it's very inspiring and empowering.<br><br>
i just had this crazy revelation, typing those words and realizing i've typed them before in another context. this process is so much like processing birth trauma. going through those stages of "what they did to me was justified and i deserved it," to "what they did to me was wrong and i'm a victim," to "this is what i'm going to do for myself, and this is what i'm not going to allow anyone else to do to me." the transformation is very similar.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
What a bizarre day. I filed for divorce- did not have to pay the fees, BTW, because I qualified for the waiver <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy"><br><br>
Then I thought that I would take a tiny amount of the leftover money and buy a journal for myself, because literally I have not bought a thing for myself since August. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bigeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bigeyes"> So I thought I would take the divorce money and put it towards a medical bill, but just save that $20. I went on the way to work and bought a pretty journal about going for your dreams.<br><br>
Then I was overwhelmed with the need to write- I used to write poetry before STBX took my soul- so I pulled over in a parking lot and wrote a poem. I haven't written in wow, how many years now? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy"><br><br>
Then I went to work. Started walking down the muddy hill *it rained this morning* even though I have told my students 100 times not to do that, to take the ramp instead. I fell, twisted my leg and landed in a pile of mud <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
My boss took me to Urgent Care and I had 7 xrays done. My ankle is sprained and I just brought back the memories of the knee injury I had 10 years ago. I had physical therapy on it a few years ago and it's been fine. Then I came home and had a good cry, mostly from the pain I am in than anything else. And I wrote in my new journal.<br><br>
I am hurting a LOT, so I am heading to bed to ice the knee and ankle. But I wanted to let everyone know that I did file for divorce, and to tell about my weird day <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Thank you all for your support. This forum is a big reason that I did NOT go back to him the 100 times I thought about it the past 9 months.
 

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You are a super strong person!<br><br>
I'm sorry that your knee is injured but so happy to hear that you are writing again. I recently began journaling and it is amazing how much of myself I am rediscovering.<br><br>
I hope you feel better soon.
 

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Bunnyflakes- It sounds like you have found yourself again!!! You are strong and confident. You are YOU!!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy"><br><br>
Sorry about your ankle. I know you are hurting but don't let it steal your joy. Take the time rest and take care of yourself. Feel better soon!
 

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oh my heavens . . . i'm so sorry you got hurt, but on the other hand, i know you won't waste this requirement to lie low for a few days. you're going to put that journal to good use! i'm so glad you got it, just in time!<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/dust.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dust"> for a quick recovery
 

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Yay! I am so glad that you were able to file for free and get yourself a nice gift to celebrate this big step towards total freedom and your new life. I'm sorry you fell down and sprained your ankle. I'm sure you will use this break wisely so that you can process stuff in your new journal and emerge healed in more ways than one. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I also just wanna say that I think you are absolutely amazing! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">sup
 

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Discussion Starter #13
I got my court date. September 29th. That feels so far away!
 

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I am so proud of you! Sorry about your ankle, but I wanted to let you know that you are a hero to me and a true inspiration.<br><br>
Feel Better soon, inside and out!<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 
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