[Cherry Alive]

This was the odd advice I got recently from a relative. She had bad BFing support, infections, and took the bad advice to supplement with formula from week 1 (bc her baby dropped a little weight after his birth).

She is also anti-EBFing and anti-self-feeding (forced her son to spoon feed at 4-5 months while he was crying).

I wouldn't care about this, though, if she showed more respect for my own views, and didn't treat me like I was stupid just because I haven't had a baby yet (she had her first only a few months ago).

Besides don't most people who BF (with the right support) enjoy it?

I have a pump, a supportive husband (he laughed at her advice), and my midwives seem to think my breasts will work fantastically.

 

[2lilsweetfoxes]

No reason to presume that breastfeeding will not work out. Besides, if something happens where it does not (the smallest chance), you know where the store is.

That said, I plan to keep a bottle of RTF formula on hand just in case something happens where I'm stuck away from baby longer than anticipated (such as a bad traffic jam on the way home from work) and dh has run out of EBM--and the freezer stash is gone.

 

[PatienceAndLove]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red_Lil_Mamma This was the odd advice I got recently from a relative. She had bad BFing support, infections, and took the bad advice to supplement with formula from week 1 (bc her baby dropped a little weight after his birth). She is also anti-EBFing and anti-self-feeding (forced her son to spoon feed at 4-5 months while he was crying). I wouldn't care about this, though, if she showed more respect for my own views, and didn't treat me like I was stupid just because I haven't had a baby yet (she had her first only a few months ago). Besides don't most people who BF (with the right support) enjoy it? I have a pump, a supportive husband (he laughed at her advice), and my midwives seem to think my breasts will work fantastically.

You're fine, she's nuts.

 

[TXmommy2be]

I bf my first three children with no problems, so I never expected a problem bf'ing the 4th. My DS lost quite a bit of weight in the hospital, and kept losing when we came home. For some reason my milk just wasn't there like it should be. I consulted a lactation specialist, pumped, took herbal supplements and even tried two different prescriptions. I was devastated, and couldn't understand why it was happening. I continued to bf, then supplement with formula for the first three months. Then one day I noticed DS was refusing the formula bottle after I nursed him - he was finally getting enough from me! The dr never really u/s why I had a problem, but somehow thought the pre-eclampsia and severe swelling I developed during my pregnancy may have been a factor. It took me about three months to lose all of the extra fluids. Coincidentally that's when we no longer needed to supplement with formula.

I just wanted to share my experience. I think mine was pretty unique from what I've been told.

 

[puddle]

I don't really like changing poopy diapers, but I do it anyway. If I hadn't liked breastfeeding, I would have done that anyway too.

 

[Nate'sMama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red_Lil_Mamma I have a pump, a supportive husband (he laughed at her advice), and my midwives seem to think my breasts will work fantastically.

I think they will work fantastically too!

Breastfeeding was a huge challenge for me but I did it anyway. I've had reduction surgery and previous experience that my supply was low - even I didn't have formula backup the first few weeks (until it became clear I needed it).

You'll be fine. Tell her to myob!

 

[Cherry Alive]

Wow! Thanks for the positive support, Ladies!

Quote:

Originally Posted by puddle I don't really like changing poopy diapers, but I do it anyway. If I hadn't liked breastfeeding, I would have done that anyway too.

LOL! That's what I was thinking, too. My DH had an awesome comeback. He rolled his eyes and said, "Well, gosh, but what if you *do* like it!"

Really, I can see how it can be a pain at times (literally). My hats off to all the ladies who have struggled with it. I may join you-and if that's the case-I won't feel guilty (nor would I ever say anything negative about someone who cant or chooses not to as long as they respect my choices).

However I think it's really bad to be thinking negatively from the getco, and if I don't BF it won't be a matter of whether or not I like it. She's been doing this kind of stuff all along with the AP that I've been researching.. It's almost as if she *hopes* it doesn't work for me.

And I guess another part of her comment got to me, bc I know of her history with trying to force solids on her son. Several months later after she started bullying him to eat them (he cries really hard when she spoon feeds him), he still is fussy about solids.

The poor little guy wasn't ready when she started (only 4-5 months) and probably has developed a complex with eating new things since it's being forced on him. I won't go there with her, though, unless she is asking for advice or seems at the end of her rope. I respect other people's parenting choices-even if I don't agree with them.

 

[azmomtoone]

Quote:

Originally Posted by puddle I don't really like changing poopy diapers, but I do it anyway. If I hadn't liked breastfeeding, I would have done that anyway too.

Good advice!!
I didn't like bf'ing in the beginning but now do....I've heard from so many people, not just me, that it is hard in the beginning . Once you get over that early hump though, sooo worth it. Especially in the toddler years, when tantrums and frustrations come into the picture, nursing is a great tool to have!

 

[User101]

I'm moving this to the general breastfeeding forum.

 

[siobhang]

This study shows that giving free formula samples actually reduces the likelihood that a mother with successfully breastfeed for more than 10 weeks. This other literature review also cites many other studies which show strong corralations between formula availability and lower breastfeeding rates.

This is the core of the WHO code - marketing of formula works - as in it convinces mothers to use formula vs use breastmilk (and if the marketing didn't work, why would formula manufacturers spend money on it?).

It is not too far a stretch to believe that having formula in the house increases the risk that a woman will not succeed at breastfeeding - because she is more likely to turn to it (or be pressured by spouse or family member) when tired, sore, or having problems.

Anecdotally, I have seen this countless times.

"He wasn't latching well, and I was too tired to keep trying, so I just gave him a bottle of formula"

"the baby kept crying and I thought she wasn't getting enough milk, so I made up a bottle and gave that to her. She seemed happy afterwards."

"I made a deal with my dh to take the 2am feeding, so he fed her formula while I slept".

"my nipples were really sore, so we just used formula while they healed"

While none of these situations, on a once in a while basis, will cause the cessession of a breastfeeding relationship, they all increase the risks, though lowering supply, introducing nipple confusion, and decreasing women's confidence in their ability to nurse their babies.

The thing is, life is hard with a newborn. Period. And you and baby are also learning how to breastfeed. It sometimes feels like it would be "easier" to just give this up, and focus on other mothering tasks. And sometimes it is. But sometimes it isn't.

The best piece of advice I got on "trying" to breastfeed was "You cannot really say you tried to breastfeed unless you give it at least 6 weeks." I would add to that - "And if you have trouble, you go and see a professional who knows about lactation (i.e. not necessarily a pediatrician or OB)."

Or to put it in other words - Breastfeeding may not always work out, but it is worth fighting hard for.

My 2 cents.

 

[Cherry Alive]

Annettemarie-

Thank you for moving the thread. I wasn't sure where it belonged at first.

Quote:

Originally Posted by siobhang This study shows that giving free formula samples actually reduces the likelihood that a mother with successfully breastfeed for more than 10 weeks. This other literature review also cites many other studies which show strong corralations between formula availability and lower breastfeeding rates. This is the core of the WHO code - marketing of formula works - as in it convinces mothers to use formula vs use breastmilk (and if the marketing didn't work, why would formula manufacturers spend money on it?). It is not too far a stretch to believe that having formula in the house increases the risk that a woman will not succeed at breastfeeding - because she is more likely to turn to it (or be pressured by spouse or family member) when tired, sore, or having problems. Anecdotally, I have seen this countless times. "He wasn't latching well, and I was too tired to keep trying, so I just gave him a bottle of formula" "the baby kept crying and I thought she wasn't getting enough milk, so I made up a bottle and gave that to her. She seemed happy afterwards." "I made a deal with my dh to take the 2am feeding, so he fed her formula while I slept". "my nipples were really sore, so we just used formula while they healed" While none of these situations, on a once in a while basis, will cause the cessession of a breastfeeding relationship, they all increase the risks, though lowering supply, introducing nipple confusion, and decreasing women's confidence in their ability to nurse their babies. The thing is, life is hard with a newborn. Period. And you and baby are also learning how to breastfeed. It sometimes feels like it would be "easier" to just give this up, and focus on other mothering tasks. And sometimes it is. But sometimes it isn't. The best piece of advice I got on "trying" to breastfeed was "You cannot really say you tried to breastfeed unless you give it at least 6 weeks." I would add to that - "And if you have trouble, you go and see a professional who knows about lactation (i.e. not necessarily a pediatrician or OB)." Or to put it in other words - Breastfeeding may not always work out, but it is worth fighting hard for. My 2 cents.

Thank you for the information!

Many of those situations are exactly why I invested in a reputable breast pump (to possibly get help in increasing supply and include my DH on feedings once we have established a BFing relationship). It is also why I plan to toss out (donate) any formula that family decides to give me as "gifts." If I have troubles with supply or anything else, I will probably want to really carefully investigate formulas before even using any, and it's not like I'm not capable of buying it myself. I've met too many women who told me horror stories of switching their babies over (all sorts of stomach issues).

 

[fruitfulmomma]

My cousin pretty much said the same thing to me when I was pregnant with my first, but I just assumed that if there was a problem I can get to the store without the child starving first.

I actually don't like breastfeeding. I like my personal space. I've never had that euphoric feeling that most moms talk about. But I do it anyway. None of my 4 kids have ever had formula or a bottle. Two of them have even nursed until close to their 4th birthdays. Anyway, I am probably too lazy for ff.

 

[alegna]

Quote:

Originally Posted by puddle I don't really like changing poopy diapers, but I do it anyway. If I hadn't liked breastfeeding, I would have done that anyway too.

:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red_Lil_Mamma Many of those situations are exactly why I invested in a reputable breast pump (to possibly get help in increasing supply and include my DH on feedings once we have established a BFing relationship).

Be careful with the idea of pumping and bottle feeding to "include dad"

Many women and babies have no problems, but artificial nipples *can* cause breastfeeding problems at any time.

-Angela

 

[Cherry Alive]

Quote:

Originally Posted by alegna : Be careful with the idea of pumping and bottle feeding to "include dad" Many women and babies have no problems, but artificial nipples *can* cause breastfeeding problems at any time. -Angela

Thank you! I've heard it can be a very difficult thing to predict.

However, she will need to be bottle-fed at some point. I am going back to work part-time in a few months after she's born so someone will be bottle-feeding her some of the time.

We're going to be looking very carefully at bottle nipples to avoid nipple confusion, and I'm definitely not giving her a bottle right away after birth. I'm open to other advice on other techniques to avoid nipple confusion, too.

 

[MountainMamaGC]

I think what your relative was trying to say was "I supplemented because I didnt like breastfeeding." A lot time there is guilt when that happens so the mother projects it onto other mothers so they dont feel so guilty anymore.

In the beginning it hurt for the first 2 weeks while my nips were getting "broken in". After that it was pretty easy and there was solutions to any problems that did come up. I enjoy my BFing relationship. My goal was nine months when i first started. My dd is 9 months old now and my new goal is 2 years and maybe even longer. The cuddles when you BF are the best and its a lucky baby that gets cuddles every time they are fed.

 

[octobermom]

If you do find for whatever reason the need to formua feed (I did) a container can be easily purchased pretty much anywhere.. Grocery health food Target Walmart Drug store gas stations ect. Its not something you NEED to have around.

Deanna

 

[ShwarmaQueen]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red_Lil_Mamma We're going to be looking very carefully at bottle nipples to avoid nipple confusion, and I'm definitely not giving her a bottle right away after birth. I'm open to other advice on other techniques to avoid nipple confusion, too.

I was in the same boat as you, so we waited until she had perfected the latch (5 wks?) and my mother gave her first EBM bottle. She never had a problem going back and forth. And I don't believe there's a thing nipple confusion (a BF baby confusing a cold, hard nipple for mom's warm, soft nipple?- not!

) it really is more like nipple *preference*.

Good luck!

 

[alegna]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShwarmaQueen And I don't believe there's a thing nipple confusion (a BF baby confusing a cold, hard nipple for mom's warm, soft nipple?- not! ) it really is more like nipple *preference*.

You're absolutely right. Nipple preference is a more accurate term.

-Angela

 

[PatioGardener]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red_Lil_Mamma We're going to be looking very carefully at bottle nipples to avoid nipple confusion, and I'm definitely not giving her a bottle right away after birth. I'm open to other advice on other techniques to avoid nipple confusion, too.

this is a bit off topic, but kellymom has an excellent handout about bottlefeeding the breastfed baby. Bottle feeding method can help to avoid bottle preference. http://www.kellymom.com/store/freeha...le_feeding.pdf

And back on to topic - You'll do great!

 

[Cherry Alive]

Quote:

Originally Posted by PatioGardener this is a bit off topic, but kellymom has an excellent handout about bottlefeeding the breastfed baby. Bottle feeding method can help to avoid bottle preference. http://www.kellymom.com/store/freeha...le_feeding.pdf And back on to topic - You'll do great!

Oh, wow! Thanks for the resource. I'm printing it out and will laminate it for both myself and my DH.

And, thank you, everyone, for correcting me on the terminology of "bottle preference." I'm very excited to learn more about this!