As a side note, I know women who had perineoplasty after her fourth baby was done. She did it and sadly regretted it. In her case there was a lot of pain and no sexual difference for her whatsoever. Her doctor pretty much neglected to tell her that it the tightness of her vagina and her sexual feeling were completely a result of her vaginal muscles and not the exterior skin/hymen which was enlarged after childbirth. So, what she got after surgery was a VERY sore perineum (much like what she had after a bad episiotomy she had with her first) and sex was actually very painful for for over a year. He removed some skin tags, cut in to some of her tissues and resutured them. In his words "cleaned up" the way it looked on the outside. She had so much pain though afterwards...she expected all these positive results which didn't materialize. She had to go through and get injections and work on stretching exercises to help reduce the pain in the area.
: According to her the doctor had completely misrepresented the surgery and what the outcomes would be for her.
: There was no sexual improvement from the surgery...I didn't know that she had it until *after* she had it and was having problems. I then told her about the vaginal exerciser that I use, she got it and began using it and only then did she get the sexual feeling back that she had lost.
For me it started about 4 years ago when I was preggo with my second. I had talked to my midwife about this...and she shared with me the story of one of her moms who had 5 children in 7 years. Postpartum the mom had broken down and confessed to my midwife that she had a dramatic loss of sensation during intercourse with subsequent pregnancies. Well, the midwife suggested a vaginal muscle exercising device, and the mom bought it and used it....she said she noticed a huge difference within a couple of weeks...and within 4 months the mom said she felt *awesome* and felt like during sex she was just as responsive, if not more, than when she first got married and they were newlyweds.
I personally can attest to the success of purchasing a vaginal exerciser too. Honestly, I *thought* I was doing Kegels before. I could tighten the muscle. But, I bought a gyneflex (the same device my mw recommended), and what it does is really help you isolate and contract the muscles so much better, and more efficiently than without it. Instead of just a tightening, I have the ability to tighten and roll up the muscle completely. And, the device adds resistance, so the muscles is even stronger! A sensation that is VERY obvious to DH and extremely useful to both of us
. It prevents a lot of medical issues as well...prolapse, incontinence, etc. I still do my kegels, in between using the device, and I do them better and stronger than before.
I am just pointing this out as a possible option to try before surgery.
It's one of those sad things in a way, in our culture we're just not "active" how we are meant to be, and because of it our pc muscles just slump over time. Even if women don't have kids if the pc muscles aren't exercised properly as they get older they weaken and issues like incontinence affect older women. Carrying a child around for 9 months stretches them out, and if you've had a few births without strengthening them it can get cumulatively worse.
I honestly don't care what the outside of my genitals look like. I think I care about their functionality. As long as they work well (and they do, really well LOL) then I am happy. Our culture is caring way to much about appearance, and less about functionality. And, in the case of the foreskin they'd like to just deny any important functions
: . It's function and what's "inside that counts"
Oh, and as a wierd extra note, I remember before kids and before the hymen was loosened. The outside skin was very tight that I was more irritated since DH is circumcised. When they are circumcised they don't have the foreskin bunch up behind the coronal ridge during an erection as most of the skin was cut off.....and during thrusting the coronal ridge hooks upon and irritates that area on the woman. It was quite a negative sensation during intercourse...after having kids and having the hymen more open I didn't notice that negative sensation anymore as it couldn't irritate the area the same way.