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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I scheduled my 20 week u/s for when my mother was visiting so she could go with us. She lives far away.<br>
First the u/s tech was not going to let her or my son in. I talked her into it and everyone was able to attend. Boy did I regret that later.<br>
We were very clear to the tech that we did not want to know the sex of the baby. DH even made a joke about how Grandma was going to have to wait with everyone else even though she really wants to know.<br>
Well, I found out later that evening that my mother cornered the tech while I was tending to my ds and asked about the sex of the baby.<br>
THE STUPID ?!***!? TECH TOLD HER THE SEX!!!!!!!!!<br><br>
I was so mad I was shaking. I felt that it was a matter of total disrespect and disregard for our feelings that she went behind our backs to find out. I had trouble even looking at her for the rest of her visit. She claims she didn't think it would be a big deal. WTF??? It is a very big deal to me. In the end of it all have to suck it up and try not to let it be such a big deal. It just really bothers me and DH that she knows and we do not. So far she has not brought it up again and my sister said she hasn't even told her about it. I think she now feels so guilty that she can't enjoy knowing.<br><br>
As for the tech, I feel she violated our privacy rights and am writing a letter to the ultrasound place. It is totally ridiculous that she told my mother when we were very clear about not wanting to know.<br><br>
Just wanted to vent................
 

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Aw, I'm sorry, that would make me very upset too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Your mom should have respected your wishes, and it's good that you let her know how upset you are. I'm glad you are complaining to the ultrasound place, I would too! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br><br>
(saw this under "new posts")
 

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That's a HIPPA (patient's rights law) violation. The tech could easily be fired for such a breach in patient confidentiality. You should definitely post a written complaint to the facility.<br><br>
What a drag for her to know, and you don't. That would totally bug me!!! But, remember you're pregnant!..and you get a beautiful baby in the end, and that's what's really important. Don't let this ruin the rest of your pregnancy. Enjoy the miracle that is happening in your womb! Congratulations and Blessings!!!!!!!<br><br>
wife, mom of four beautiful children, RN
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MamaLuvsHerBabies</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9896975"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">That's a HIPPA (patient's rights law) violation. The tech could easily be fired for such a breach in patient confidentiality. You should definitely post a written complaint to the facility.</div>
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Yeah big time! That's who I'd be mad at honestly. She should have shut your mom down no questions asked!
 

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Wow that is so wrong! Did your mom know that you didnt want anyone to know the sex...
 

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So sorry Momma.... That is just not cool at all...<br><br>
As pp said it is a violation of HIPPA and the tech will certainly be in major trouble for her breach.<br><br>
I am sure your Mom's guilt is stealing the thrill of knowing, just like peeking at your gifts before time. When your baby is born, everyone will be excited to learn what he/she is and your Mom will be sitting there all sulky cause she has no surprise.
 

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I would have been LIVID!!!! Not only at my mom but at the tech too! I agree with the pp's who have said to be sure to report the tech. No way should she have done that! I would also write her a personal letter letting her know how wrong what she did was.<br><br>
I am so mad for you! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hopmad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hopping mad">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: I find myself even angrier at the tech than your mom. I"m so glad to hear you're making an issue of it - total disregard for patient rights and the law-way to stand up for yourself !<br><br>
Mothers can be really really really aggravating- . I hope I learn to let go and not intrude in my chidren's lives like this!<br><br>
Regardless, it sounds like a HEALTHY outcome for the u/s - hope you can go back to feeling good about that soon. Congrats!
 

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Well, I don't know if either you or your mother can be convinced, but there is that small chance that the tech was mistaken by the ultrasound and told her the wrong sex. Maybe your mother and you and your DP can imagine that she doesn't really know, HTH...<br><br>
Your mother is obviously feeling guilt, so that's punishment enough for her. I agree with the PPs, I would recommend writing a letter as well as scheduling a face to face with the US tech's supervisor. Come with specific recommendations for discipline and make sure this goes on the tech's file.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Kappa</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9898740"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Well, I don't know if either you or your mother can be convinced, but there is that small chance that the tech was mistaken by the ultrasound and told her the wrong sex. Maybe your mother and you and your DP can imagine that she doesn't really know, HTH...<br><br>
Your mother is obviously feeling guilt, so that's punishment enough for her. I agree with the PPs, I would recommend writing a letter as well as scheduling a face to face with the US tech's supervisor. Come with specific recommendations for discipline and make sure this goes on the tech's file.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br>
I have thought both of those things.<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I hope she was told the wrong sex. DH and I thought about that. With the way this tech was I wouldn't be surprised if she got it wrong.<br><br>
My big consolation is that mom is feeling so guilty that she can't enjoy knowing. I gave her a really hard time about how she can't keep a secret (she can't) so I know she is trying not to spill. I have a feeling it will slip out before the pg is over. It is sort of sad because now I don't feel I can even talk about the baby with her.<br><br>
She absolutely knew we did not want to know. I didn't know that I needed to tell her that we didn't want ANYONE to know. We didn't find out with ds so this is nothing new to her.<br><br>
Thanks for all the support!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>esmlranch</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9898847"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It is sort of sad because now I don't feel I can even talk about the baby with her.</div>
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That was my first thought. If it were me, I'd feel like I wouldn't even be able to talk to her about it because of being so scared she'd slip!
 

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That makes me so mad!!!!!! I can't even imagine how violated you must have felt!!!!!!! Mothers can be soooooo annoying.<br><br>
I'm glad to hear that you are going to write a letter to the u/s place. That would p*ss me off to no end how badly they violated your confidentialty <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
I'm so SORRY!
 

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Holy crap. I'd be livid.<br><br>
I would definitely write a letter to the ultrasound place. That's a TOTAL violation of your privacy. I can't believe the tech did that. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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WOW.<br><br>
I would be <span style="color:#FF0000;"><b>furious</b></span>.<br><br>
I'm so sorry that your Mom felt the need to steal your secret and thrill.<br><br>
Is this a pattern or just a nasty slip on decorum on her part?<br><br>
The Tech probably assumed that if your Mom was asking her, you had allowed her to learn the information.<br><br>
Trin.
 

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omg that's awful. The tech should be fired for violating your rights, and your mother should be ashamed. What a horrible thing to do to her own daughter. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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My mom would so do the same thing. She's overbearing & controlling like that. We did find out the sex & were very excited to announce that after 3 dd's we were having a boy! My mom proceeded to say SHE DIDN"T WANT A GRANDSON & walked out the room. Something about moms ability to suck the joy out of life huh! And if your mom HAD to know & the tech was stupid enough to tell her why did she have to tell you she knew. Any chance your mom is a big fat lyer?
 

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Are you positive the tech actually told your mom the sex? Maybe the tech wouldn't tell her anything but your mom wanted to freak you out and said she found out, when she really didn't?
 

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I would be so mad!
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MamaLuvsHerBabies</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9896975"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">That's a HIPPA (patient's rights law) violation. The tech could easily be fired for such a breach in patient confidentiality. You should definitely post a written complaint to the facility.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
when i was in grad school our dept got in trouble b/c grad students wrote reports on computers in the library. they were not even saved to the hard drive, but someone walked behind a student, read a little bit, and reported the department.
 
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