[smillerhouse]

I am needing support to keep my daughter who turned 13 in April safe and growing as a child/young teen. There is tremendous pressure to "pair up" and it is taking lots of energy this summer to support and encourage group friends,haing fun,being a young teen. We are getting a three week reprive from this as will take a trip to Washington monutains but want to keep encouraging and supervising so that whe has what I feel are age appropriate and properly superised experences. I would loveto hear any feedack concerning this.Sallie in Fl.

 

[Gabbi]

Quote:

Originally Posted by smillerhouse I am needing support to keep my daughter who turned 13 in April safe and growing as a child/young teen. There is tremendous pressure to "pair up" and it is taking lots of energy this summer to support and encourage group friends,haing fun,being a young teen. We are getting a three week reprive from this as will take a trip to Washington monutains but want to keep encouraging and supervising so that whe has what I feel are age appropriate and properly superised experences. I would loveto hear any feedack concerning this.Sallie in Fl.

Sallie, I understand how you feel-however I am on the opposite side. I am the mother of a 14 yo boy.
My son TOO feels the need to "pair up" or "have a girl" etc. He is a chunky kid and I feel that he isn't the type most girls are interested in, since this age it seems it's about looks and how expensive ones tennis shoes are.
One thing that I keep telling him (and his sister who is turning 11) is this..I don't know if it helps but possibly might so I will share..
I tell my children that high school/jr. high etc. Will matter VERY LITTLE in the real/adult world. Things that seem SOO important now are becoming issues to help him/her grow and develop into an adult. I use this if it is when I'm comforting them from rejection, ugly acting friends etc. I don't know if this "fits" or helps but I want to stress to my children that this age is for LEARNING and growing their brain...they need to concentrate on BRAIN GROWTH so they can handle adult relationships later on.
"Pairing up" is the "thing". As is casual sex , without a relationship. It's tough and I feel your pain and worry.
I remember this age...it's such a devistating time and EVERYTHING is a HUGE issue!
I also think it is important to verbalize their concerns and worries, and speak to them without using the phrase "I understand". Often that isn't a good phrase because it can cause a spurt of anger and they are thinking "YEAH RIGHT".
I would simply redirect her thoughts to those group activities. Doing things as a group. And remind her she IS 13, although she FEELS 25, she is 13 and it is your duty to love and protect her. it's a hard time to gently keep them on this path of life.

s to you mama.

 

[aisraeltax]

i have one of those sons who every girl in school is after. he is the MOST difficult for me right now b/c i do keep trying to tell him he's only 15!!! (soon to be 16). for me, the teenage years are the most difficult. i remember what i did...and my friends did...and i try not to be hypocritical...but its so hard when they are your "babies".
i have no advice for parents of teenagers...only sympathy! lol!
i just hope when these years are over, something i have done will have benefited him...b/c right now, i feel im doing all the wrong things.
if i use discipline, i feel im being too strict. if i allow him to chose his own path, i feel im not being strict enough b/c he never seems to want any limitations...
its just soo hard!