Mothering Forum banner

1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
257 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hi ladies. Haven't visited in awhile, but I need your help today.<br><br>
On my way to bed I heard an email come in and was surprised to see it was from my MIL. We had spoken on the phone earlier today. Anyway - she was replying to the weekly update I send to family and friends every Sunday, more specifically, to my paragraph about my happiness with our neighbor's son having CP and my inviting him over to play with my son, who had it when he was a baby, even after the boys mom called to tell me. In my email I said that I hoped my 10 month old would get it.<br><br>
Here is what she wrote:<br><br><i>YO-chicken pox is NO FUN AT ALL FOR ANYBODY, MOST ESPECIALLY ADULTS!! It can do serious, permanent damage to an adult, and can harm a child's hearing. I had it for the better part of 10 days, and by that, I mean DOWN IN BED, sick to my stomach, head pounding, fairly high fever for 7 straight days. Not to mention the misery of the itching, and the scars that came as a result of scratching I couldn't keep myself from.<br><br>
Chicken pox is not to be taken lightly...although it is.<br><br>
If you and Devin BOTH get it at the same time, it will be more miserable than you can imagine. Calamine doesn't always do it, maybe they've got other remedies now, but it's better to avoid it altogether. Don't ask for it.<br><br>
Take it from someone who's been through it as an adult, with young children who got it at the same time.<br><br>
Yes, Tim has had it. He's probably forgotten that. He breezed through it, Devin will, too, at his age. But you might not be so lucky.</i><br><br>
Here is the reply I'd like to send -<br><br><i>Chicken pox is a childhood disease, meant to infect children. If Devin doesn't get it as a child, he'll probably get shingles, which is much worse than chicken pox when an adult. But, I shouldn't worry, right, because there's a vaccine for shingles now. Big Pharma has taken care of the problem that's become a side effect of the chicken pox vaccine. The CP vax delays children who get it, not giving adults in their circle the boost they need, so they get shingles, and then the poor kids who never had CP, which I did have as a child by the way, get a very memorable case of shingles as Tweens or Teens. Hunter had a small case of it at 6 months, and the virus will forever be in his body now, keeping him immune, and when he interacts with other infected kids like Jonathon, his immune system gets a refresher course and boosts his immune system, etc. for us.<br><br>
I know you mean well, but don't even assume I have taken the health of Devin lightly. I've read up on it as well as the other diseases of yesterday we have traded for the chronic illnesses we see today. I hope Devin gets it and I have talked it over with Tim. You know your son, if he doesn't agree with something, he says so, and you know quiet ole' me. I only speak up when I have something to say. If I am unable to handle it, I will take Devin to the doctor, but honestly, I feel he'd have a better chance at home, see attached article. I have an entire folder filled with information I have read and re-read until I couldn't see straight. If you'd like me to share this info with you, all you have to do is ask and I will be just thrilled that you're interested in my point of view. Tim calls my use of cloth diapers my new hobby, but my lack of indulgence of today's doctors and their medicine is not. Many people are stopping and saying, Hey, wait a minute.... If I had been stronger and asked more questions in late 1997, maybe once in the well child visits scheduled every month or two of 1998, which continued over and over again, not to see how healthy he was but to keep with the vaccine schedule in 1999, than your first grandchild might not be affected with autism for the rest of his life.</i><br><br>
I just want to make sure I have my facts straight and don't want to sound confrontational because my husband gets very upset if there is friction between us and MIL. I'm actually surprised she didn't CC him. He's out of town on business. I don't understand why she didn't bring it up over the phone...but she was asking to speak with hubby, so maybe she wanted to talk to him first.<br><br>
Thanks ladies.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
42,824 Posts
feeling scattered, so will comment on bits as I see them:<br><br>
you can't get shingles unless you've had chickenpox (or the vaccine)<br><br>
-Angela
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,952 Posts
Speaking as a person with a tough mom and MIL and not as a vax expert, this email should be a lot shorter and leave less room for confrontation.<br><br>
Something along the lines of "Thank you for your concern with my health. I had chicken pox as a child and am permanently immune. Gavin has the same immunity from when he had the disease as a baby. It is true that people who have had CP can get shingles when their immune systems become severely compromised. I hope you are taking good care of yourself! Love, Yolanda."<br><br>
Presuming that she is over 50, she is at much greater risk for shingles than you are. It <i>is</i> very unpleasant to get CP as an adult; I did. That's why I don't think the vax is a good idea, since exposure in childhood confers greater protection. HTH.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
399 Posts
I agree with the captain. Say can I hire you to reply to emails form my Mom? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Keep it short, sweet and to the point. Otherwise you are opening up a can of worms. I know how it is when you have so much to say, and you want to educate people, and you may be feeling defensive. Sometimes, I find it better not to reply at all. I will often avoid the confrontation al together. But that is just me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
257 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
Thanks ladies. I do feel confrontational. It's just that she always replies to something in my weekly emails negativly. She made a big deal when I started cloth diapering, and I can't believe the email I got when I mentioned how our black lab brings us wood for the fireplace. She typed up a long paragraph about splinters in his mouth and stomach and a huge vet bill. It's always something with her, and I do try to be polite and say, Hmmm, but, honestly, I'm tired of it. When she ?'s me about my boys, that just really pisses me off as I still have guilt over #1 sons autism. I want her to understand, but I don't think she ever will. I know she won't shut up, I don't think we've ever had a breakfast together where she finished eating first.<br><br>
Thanks for reading ladies. I'll just thank her for her concern and leave it at that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,203 Posts
Not much more to add, as it seems everything's been covered,<br><br>
but this line stood out,<br><br>
"she always replies to something in my weekly emails negativly"<br><br>
I would stop sending her weekly emails~~~~!!!!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,835 Posts
Wow, the idiocy is just...extreme!<br><br>
My response, were i to make one, would center around the fact that she talks about how hard it is for an ADULT to get CP..<br>
EXACTLY.<br>
That is the POINT!!!<br>
You are trying to have your child get cp naturally, as a CHILD, the way you are supposed to, so he doesn't have to WORRY about getting it as an adult!!!<br>
Sheesh.<br>
Perhaps you can frame your short and concise response around that particular point?<br>
Point out that since you and dh have already had it, you are immune, and you want the same thing for your children.<br><br>
Why? Because getting it as an adult SUCKS.<br><br>
Just like she pointed out.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,227 Posts
i ditto both keeping the email response short...<br>
and perhaps stop sending her weekly emails...or send them from your husband's email so he can be confronted with the negativity...maybe then he can deal with it instead of you, kwim?
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Top