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your opinions needed: Baby Whisperer methods

854 Views 13 Replies 12 Participants Last post by  Grace and Granola
Hi mamas,

Long story short: I need to wean dd from her soother ASAP. It's causing a lot of nighttime wakings (i.e. she used to wake once per night to BF and now it's 6 to 8 times for the soother).

She is 4 months old and has had a soother for 2 months, only for falling asleep at night and for naps. For the past week (since the time change), she wakes and cries for it. I've been giving in.

After my research into methods, I've opted for going cold turkey over the easter long weekend. I'm planning on using the Baby Whisperer's "Pick up/Put down" method.

I need you MDC mamas' opinions. Too harsh? Too close to "sleep training"? Has anyone tried it?

BTW, I've never sleep trained her, but have done a very regular bedtime routine since she was a newborn. But now she's upped the ante and I need to sleep!


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I don't have a lot to say, except the Dream Feeds reallllly worked for me, and I suggest them to everybody who'll listen. I used that, plus the methods and white noise from the DVD "The Happiest Baby on the Block." I swear by that thing, too.

Good luck!

Sarah, is she still breastfeeding? Are you co sleeping? If so, I would offer her the breast. At four months, all of my children were still waking several times a night to feed.

It's okay to do a regular bedtime routine. In fact, many children thrive with expected routines.

My youngest soon had a pacifier for a while, but eventually, by about six months or so, we lost them all, and that was that. He still nurses several times a night and he's two. Of course, children are all different and your daughter might not need to feed that much.

But, if she's waking because she's lost her soother, then she may need to nurse... that would satisfy her and let you get more sleep.

thanks for your responses. Yes, we breastfeed. No, we don't co-sleep anymore since I discovered at 10 weeks that we both sleep WAY better when she's in her crib.

Everytime she wakes at night, I offer her the boob. She takes it from 1 to 3 times. The rest of the times, it's the soother she wants.

Any other opinions?

i bought the baby whisper and tried for a little while...except i went crazy trying to do it 'right", and felt horrible when i wasnt according to the book- than i came across mdc!! i had read some mothering mags before, however never did i know there was so much more! I wish i would have never bought that book. it makes you feel as though you are doing things wrong, or "acidental parenting"(wth) i'm not at all into sleep training. babies (imo) arent meant to sleep through the night...they get hungry, are wet, hungry,hot or cold, or sometimes just need to be snuggled! just my seemed to be very high expectations from such a little person, in what you should and should not be doing. EVERY child is different. Does she sleep in the room with you in her crib that might help, or when you night time feed let her fall asleep i sleep better when he night time nurses! we do both (cosleep and crib, mostly cosleep) actually we just bought a crib!
One day hell be ready!! lol

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Just wanted to add that right around 4 months my baby's sleep patterns changed dramatically. He had been sleeping for 8 hours at a time, and he started waking up a LOT more often. I'm pretty sure it was a developmental thing. He became much more aware of the world, and was developing all kinds of new skills that he would wake up and want to practice. ie, it may not be that he's waking up BECAUSE of the binky, just that the binky works to get him back to sleep. Glad you're offering the boob--mine also started needed more milk at night around that age. He's back to sleeping longer stretches now.

You asked for opinions, so here's mine: It's not "giving in" to parent your baby during the night. It's parenting. She's so little and she needs her mommy. Be there for her. She knows what she needs and she's asking you for it. Why deny her?

It's my hope that by being there whenever my ds needs me (and he's almost three and still waking to nurse in the night), he'll instinctively know that he can step out into the world and be safe because someone has always been there for him.

. Not for us . . . not even close. I read a few chapters and seem to recall some crap about not letting a 10 pound person come into the home and disrupt the convenience level of the adults who already live there. Make the bloody little sot fit into your schedule. WTF?
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Originally Posted by Heffernhyphen
. Not for us . . . not even close. I read a few chapters and seem to recall some crap about not letting a 10 pound person come into the home and disrupt the convenience level of the adults who already live there. Make the bloody little sot fit into your schedule. WTF?

i got that book out of the library and promptly returned it when i got to that part. terrible. some 'baby whisperer'.
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I have not read the book but wanted to just chime in and say my ds's sleep patterns changed so much around 4 months also. He started waking more/eating more, and that has started to slow down again now that he is a bit older than 6 months. I just think once we get comfortable with the way things are, they change. Seems normal. Good luck. Mary
This is a really good article about how sleep patterns change at 4 mos. I found it very helpful at that age.
And that's why I love these forums!

Yes, I was a little desperate about the many wakings. And I do agree that night time doesn't mean we can just abandon our parenting job. In my sleep-deprived haze, I got anxious and started to look around for "help". I thought I found it in THAT BOOK.

But my mommy instincts kept twinging when I thought about starting her method. So I never did, even though I planned to.

Sure am glad I came and posted here. And THANK YOU mommies for replying. I'm sure you saved me and my baby some heartache.

I've regained my perspective and will get rid of THAT BOOK. My agreement with my dd is that I respond each and every time she asks for me, no matter when or where or how often. And that's that.

BTW, last night, she slept beautifully, with one wake up for a big feed. I feel restored!!

CarenSwan: awesome article, thanks.
Heffernhyphen: thanks for the reminder; I needed it.
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I feel like I chime in a bit late, but the title of the thread touched a nerve. I have that book, and I HATE it. The constant emphasizing how inconvenient nursing is as compared to formula feeding. The fact that she portrays babies as hell bent on destructing their parents' lives and how you need to nip their manipulative ways in the bud from day one. I hate the book, I never even completely finished reading it because it made me feel like a pushover and a whimp until I realised that what I do works for ME. I got Dr. Sears' book on attachment parenting last weekend and that makes me feel sooo much better!
Sarah- Sounds like you're getting things figured out, that's great! I agree with the others... *that book* sucks and you shouldn't stop parenting your baby at night. If you still want to get rid of the soother, whether it's now or sometime down the road, it seems like going cold-turkey is the fastest and easiest way to do it. Also, it's easier to get rid of it when they are little, like under 6 months. After that, it seems like they get more *attached* to it and it's harder to get rid of. Just my $0.02.
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Hi Sarah!
We were in the exact position that you are in now. At 5 1/2 months we decided that the pacifier had to go. We went cold turkey and I really felt bad about it, but I know that my ds needed sleep more than he needed his binky. I would just suggest that whatever you currently do to get your dd to sleep continue to do that. If you rock her with the paci then continue to rock but without the paci. Don't change a bunch of things all at once. That's the mistake we made. There was crying involved, but it passed within about 4 days and we never looked back. My ds sleeps great now, besides fighting sleep like mad, but that's another story!

Good luck mama!
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