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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm curious, how close is the face/personality you present to the world to your internal running monologue?<br><br>
Are they pretty similar?<br><br>
Radically different?
 

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They are pretty much the same. There are occasional times when I change what I would normally say/do because it's just smarter or more tactful (which is something I can apparently be at times <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">). Mostly, though, what I say is what is going through my head, though maybe a little more g-rated.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Bunnyflakes<br><br>
My inner monolouge is pretty snarky, and very weird. I let some of that show but not all of it. It might overwhlem people if they got all of me at once. :p
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bunnyflakes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15387703"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Radically different. The person people think I am is not at all who I really am. I don't think people would like who I really am, so I have gotten really good at hiding her.</div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Right of Passage</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15387727"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Bunnyflakes<br><br>
My inner monolouge is pretty snarky, and very weird. I let some of that show but not all of it. It might overwhlem people if they got all of me at once. :p</div>
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lol, mine is snarky and a huge smart ass and I don't dare let it out. I can only think of one person who gets to see it on a regular basis. I've made her snort her drink more then once with my comments lol<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bunnyflakes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15387703"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Radically different. The person people think I am is not at all who I really am. I don't think people would like who I really am, so I have gotten really good at hiding her.</div>
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You need to meet some new people! (Assuming your internal monologue isn't something like "hm, I wonder how I can rob that bank.")<br><br>
Mine is pretty similar but my outer personality is more tactful; but then, that's the definition of tact, isn't it?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lolar2</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15387878"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">You need to meet some new people! (Assuming your internal monologue isn't something like "hm, I wonder how I can rob that bank.")<br><br>
Mine is pretty similar but my outer personality is more tactful; but then, that's the definition of tact, isn't it?</div>
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See, things like "I wonder how I could rob that bank" are things I would say out loud! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I'd say with me it depends who I'm with. My internal monologue is very negative (probably due to being depressed, but I think it's just habit after years of negative thinking). Good friends I don't really censure. People I'm friendly with I do. I also have alot of smart arse remarks running through my head and usually with people I don't know very well I keep them to myself (unless I'm sure they'd understand my humour!)
 

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They're pretty similar because I generally don't do a great job at filtering what I say. If it pops into my head it's usually going to slip out of my mouth shortly after. I do some backtracking with DP a lot to clarify what I <i>really</i> meant. Not that I'm snarky or mean, just honest. Of course, everyone has a part of themselves that is to remain private, right? But for the most part what you see is what you get.
 

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OMG!! I FEEL HORRIBLE. I obviously did not choose my words well.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Learning_Mum</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15387922"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">See, things like "I wonder how I could rob that bank" are things I would say out loud! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I also have alot of smart arse remarks running through my head and usually with people I don't know very well I keep them to myself (unless I'm sure they'd understand my humour!)</div>
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Me too! I can really only be myself with my husband. I already come off badly, I don't think people would understand unless they knew everything I have experienced in life. My inner self is somewhat of a b*&^%, and everyonce in a great while (well okay about once a day) that shines though. I am very disillusioned.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>woodchick</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15387988"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Forgive me if I am overstepping...<br><br>
You've posted a lot about how other people have disappointed you- church, XH, etc. I wonder, if you started being more 'real' with the people you meet, instead of trying to be who you think they'll like, if they'll stop disappointing.<br><br>
I know you're doing a ton of self reflecting and working on a ton of things. Please don't take this as criticism, it was just something that popped into my mind as I read this post and paired it with your past posts.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"></div>
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I am hurt by what you said beause the reason my STBX disappointed me was because he punched me, kicked me and called me bad names <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> That has nothing to do with my true self and it hurts to have that said to me <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Also the church has nothing to do with my personality either. My personality did not cause my STBX to be abusive, nor did it cause the blindness. Perhaps I should leave now because I am very upset about this post.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bunnyflakes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15387974"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> No! Nothing like that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
I feel that MDC people know the real me. I decided to start with online people <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> And one local person knows a bit about who I really am. It has more to do with my career aspirations and how I wish I could dress and color my hair, etc. I think the real me is quite unusual and could possibly freak people out <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"></div>
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So whats your career aspiration and how do you want to dress and what color do you want your hair? And why does what everyone think matter? I find people who are going to judge me really are not worth my time. The only one I put with that judges me is my family and I've learned to ignore it:p<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>woodchick</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15387988"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Forgive me if I am overstepping...<br><br>
You've posted a lot about how other people have disappointed you- church, XH, etc. I wonder, if you started being more 'real' with the people you meet, instead of trying to be who you think they'll like, if they'll stop disappointing.<br><br>
I know you're doing a ton of self reflecting and working on a ton of things. Please don't take this as criticism, it was just something that popped into my mind as I read this post and paired it with your past posts.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"></div>
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I agree, stop pretending or at least slowly let more of the real you out.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bunnyflakes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15388031"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I am hurt by what you said beause the reason my STBX disappointed me was because he punched me, kicked me and called me bad names <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> That has nothing to do with my true self and it hurts to have that said to me <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Also the church has nothing to do with my personality either. My personality did not cause my STBX to be abusive, nor did it cause the blindness. Perhaps I should leave now because I am very upset about this post.</div>
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Woah, I think your jumping to conclusions and thats not what she meant at all.
 

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Really different, lol. If I talked the way my mind works people would not be able to understand me or anything I say at all. It does slip out sometimes and people literally cock their heads to the side and squinch up their faces trying to understand what I'm talking about. I have to really think about slowing things down and wording things in ways other people will understand, sometimes it ends up all fragmented and discombobulated even after that. Personality wise I'm similar, but I have to work hard on how I present myself and do a lot of scripting to present myself in a way that's socially acceptable. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> That's why I like online message boards, I can type it out and reread it and you don't see my social struggle there. At least not as often.
 

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With my closest friends - very similar, with the rest of the world - radically different. My inner monologue is very snarky and sometimes a little judgemental. I do not trust people easily, so it is easier to just let things go and not tell everyone what I really think. Esp since, for the most part, I don't relly care what they think. That probably has a lot to do with the fact that I live in an area full of socially & politically conservative folks who think that being crunchy is buying Organic vegetables at the grocery store.
 

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Ok, seriously, can we like... <i>not</i> judge what other peoples responses in this thread are?<br><br>
Bunnyflakes isn't the only person in the world who behaves differently than she thinks. It's not some kind of defect that needs fixing either. Hell a lot of people you don't <i>want</i> them to behave the way they think (not necessarily anyone here, but just in general) because they have had to work at keeping the part of them that is destructive towards others from taking over.
 

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haven't read the other responses, but mine are very different. I wouldn't like to be the kind of person on the outside that I am on the inside.<br><br>
if that makes sense.
 

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They're two fairly different people. Both pretty cool, I think, but different <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">.
 
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