I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and since so many of you ladies have made such wonderful proposals, I'll steal and add! In no particular order:<br><br>
1) conscious of self, environment, and relationships<br>
2) respectful<br>
3) if he has children (which I'd almost not prefer, as I'd be distrustful of how his previous relationship ended)...must have done similar parenting, put his children first, sacrifice for them, meet his obligations to them, have a respectful relationship with his ex<br>
4) Hardworking, ambitious (not to be rich, famous, etc., but makes realistic plans and follows through with them)<br>
5) creative, crafty, respects my creativity<br>
6) spiritual, accepting of others, trying to follow a somewhat coherent belief system, hopefully not much negative karma <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> and definitely pacifist/earthy perhaps Christian beliefs<br>
7) Does NOT put me on a pedastal, but accepts me for who I truly am. Honest about all my faults and accepts them.<br>
8) I'd have to like his family, particularly his father. I didn't believe my grandma all the times she told me, but now I accept: you don't marry the man, you marry the family. If I don't like what his parents are and how their relationship is, I probably won't like him in a few years.<br>
9) Chemistry, intimacy, worships at my temple so to speak <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blush.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blush"> but also respectful of my past and needs and willing to take the relationship at my pace<br>
10) Thoughtful, caring, intellectual, has passions<br>
11) Willing to be adventerous, likes to travel<br>
12) accepts my parenting relationship as primary, accepts my parenting choices, willing to learn about why I've made them (and not just blindly follow, but actively understand the benefits)<br>
13) supports my career choices and not just taking advantage of me as a hard worker with a bright future (if I may say so...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> It's sort of a big concern of mine. I don't want "law student" to be a turn on or turn off for anyone...and I could see it being both)<br>
14) integrity, NO pornography, wants to work on communication skills<br>
15) ummm...long hair a bonus. I've always been attracted to long haired men, but so far never really in a relationship with one. Don't know how it jives with the image I project now (trying to slowly, gradually "professionalize" myself and becoming blander by the day, blah!)<br>
16) loves me, loves my children, sees them as beautiful wonderful beings<br>
17) can put up with my family and hopefully get along with them, never ever disrespectful of them (we've got issues, but their ours, not outsiders)<br><br>
Umm, could I be more picky? I feel like it will never happen! But then again, when am I going to meet anyone anyway? Honestly, I kinda wish my old 13yo flame was back in my life, we're still in touch and there's still chemistry, and in a lot of ways I think we have so much going for us. But it's probably just a fear of the unknown thing, he lives in NY and although he's mentionned possibly moving back here, it's only a passing chance. Still, I can dream, and he's the object of a lot of my lust, funny huh? I still sometimes look at the love letters he wrote me and remember the passions of youth... And he was the best lover I've ever had, and worked at it (we weren't 13 then! It was a later reunion.)