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Old 10-26-2007, 02:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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that notices the difference between here and DDC. there is a lot more discussion of hospital births and drugs in DDC. i'm not saying that's BAD....just thought it was odd and what a diiference there seems to be.:
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Old 10-26-2007, 02:48 PM
 
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YES. I am no longer pg but wasn't able to comfortably spend much time in my DDC because it seemed VERY mainstream for a MDC board. You are not the only one.

 Keri wife and Mama to  Cory 17,  Brendan 15,  Kerianne 8,  Avery 7,  Lilia 3
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Old 10-26-2007, 02:51 PM
 
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Sometimes the DDCs are the first places a new member gets active. After they spend a little more time around here, they get crunchier. I know I did.
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Old 10-26-2007, 02:57 PM
 
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My DDC has a bunch of homebirthers and UC'ers ... I love it!

Mama to M (7/05) and S (5/08) my surprise !!!
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Old 10-26-2007, 02:59 PM
 
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Well, I knew my health circumstances kind of dictated a hospital birth with this one, much as I would have liked it to be otherwise. (I was pretty much risked out of a midwife-attended birth with any of the midwives in my area.) I know already MDC is not the best place to post questions or expect discussions of hospital births, so I didn't really post in this forum much, although I read here a lot.

A recent poll in my DDC showed that more than half were planning out of hospital births (counting birth centers, UCs and homebirths). Not a high percentage for MDC, perhaps, but certainly a lot higher than you'd find among the general population, at least where I live.
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Old 10-26-2007, 03:43 PM
 
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Yes, I think lots of moms find their way into a DDC but aren't necesarily all that into other aspects of NFL, or are just not that into the natural birthing aspect of NFL.
I am not able to spend as much time in my DDC because of this - it's just not the supportive environment I want.....at times, it feels like babycenter, LOL!

CPST
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Old 10-26-2007, 03:54 PM
 
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I think that questions and topics like what you are referring to are more common in the DDC's because the mamas in the groups are more like friends and less likely to stone each other when they don't agree.

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Old 10-26-2007, 04:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by bobandjess99 View Post
Yes, I think lots of moms find their way into a DDC but aren't necesarily all that into other aspects of NFL, or are just not that into the natural birthing aspect of NFL.
I am not able to spend as much time in my DDC because of this - it's just not the supportive environment I want.....at times, it feels like babycenter, LOL!

:this is how i feel. it's just not the type of thing i am looking for, but i know it IS for many others. i guess i will stick to this board:
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Old 10-26-2007, 05:12 PM
 
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I think that questions and topics like what you are referring to are more common in the DDC's because the mamas in the groups are more like friends and less likely to stone each other when they don't agree.

Yeah, this too.
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Old 10-26-2007, 05:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by bobandjess99 View Post
Yes, I think lots of moms find their way into a DDC but aren't necesarily all that into other aspects of NFL, or are just not that into the natural birthing aspect of NFL.
I am not able to spend as much time in my DDC because of this - it's just not the supportive environment I want.....at times, it feels like babycenter, LOL!
I struggle with the same thing...but I've actually found that to be true for many of the Pregnancy and Birth (and even in the TTC forum) sub-forums.
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Old 10-26-2007, 06:24 PM
 
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I was shocked to see all the mommas in my DDC happily discussing their ultrasounds. Almost nobody questions them. There are like 10 threads going about them right now. One momma asked about risks so I posted a few thoughts and a little research and was slammed by the "there's no proven risk" moms.
I don't post much there because it seems really mainstream. I guess MDC has made me way crunchier than I realized, not that that's a bad thing...

mama to 4 boys, 2 kitties and 42 chickens
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Old 10-26-2007, 06:30 PM
 
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This may be a silly question, but what the heck is DDC? I mean, aside from Dewey Decimal Classification...

Perpetually exhausted single mother by choice to one little girl (2/06)
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Old 10-26-2007, 06:32 PM
 
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Oh right, Due Date Clubs... nevermind.

Perpetually exhausted single mother by choice to one little girl (2/06)
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Old 10-26-2007, 06:37 PM
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Some women have to have a hospital birth for whatever reason. I think the majority of women are going to midwives, doing homebirths, etc.

Not everyone has the money to shell out for that awesome homebirth midwife. I don't. I am seeing midwives, but I am unsure what to do about my birth. If I want insurance to pay for it, I have to give birth in a hospital. I'd love to UC, but I don't have the support system for that. I might give birth at a birth center in NH, but again that is going to cost me quite a bit of money. The midwife who I'd be seeing there said that I had to have a u/s or she couldn't see me because of my vbac. We had to make sure that the placenta wasn't on my scar.

I really wish I had some people to be around me so I could do a UC. If I end up at a hospital it will be VERY reluctantly.

Kara, single mom of 4 girls (5, 8, 16 and 19) crochetsmilie.gif
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Old 10-26-2007, 06:42 PM
 
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Some women have to have a hospital birth for whatever reason. I think the majority of women are going to midwives, doing homebirths, etc.

Not everyone has the money to shell out for that awesome homebirth midwife. I don't. I am seeing midwives, but I am unsure what to do about my birth. If I want insurance to pay for it, I have to give birth in a hospital. I'd love to UC, but I don't have the support system for that. I might give birth at a birth center in NH, but again that is going to cost me quite a bit of money. The midwife who I'd be seeing there said that I had to have a u/s or she couldn't see me because of my vbac. We had to make sure that the placenta wasn't on my scar.

I really wish I had some people to be around me so I could do a UC. If I end up at a hospital it will be VERY reluctantly.
This. There's often a huge difference in the kind of birth you dream of having and the kind of birth you actually have, for many, many reasons. I know I love the idea of a home birth, but in our situation it's just not going to happen. We're over half an hour from a hospital here, and the house is far from ideal for birthing. Also, despite our insurance being awful, it stills pays for some of our hospital birth. There's no way we could afford a home birth.

Some women discover that they or the baby have a health issue, some have insurance problems, some are far from a hospital, some have a partner who just isn't comfortable with home birth, and sometimes the mother herself likes the idea of home birth better than the reality. As long as each of us thinks long and hard about our decisions and does the best we can with what we have (even if someone else thinks another way would be better), I don't see why anyone should judge us for what we decide.
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Old 10-26-2007, 07:01 PM
 
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People in a DDC generally have context for eachother, and a bit more grace for the idiosyncrasies of a particular pregnancy experience. I've had no prenatal care for much of the pregnancy, and plan to homebirth in my tiny urban apartment with minimal intervention--very close to a UC, actually. However, I've had several ultrasounds: to date pregnancy (as LMP gives me a wide 2 month margin), a 20 week anatomy scan (to prepare for any abnormalities that would require a transfer for surgery immediately after birth), and to confirm breech presentation (this influences my choice of a midwife). I consider these appropriate reasons for u/s, and would balk at someone suggesting I'm not doing it "naturally" enough.

I understand that someone else might find the hospital to be a perfect place to birth, and I'm fully supportive of that. Chances are, in a DDC, I know their circumstances and experiences, and I'd be far less likely to apply my generalities (ie; "the hospital is no place to have babies") to them.
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Old 10-26-2007, 07:30 PM
 
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And don't assume that because a person is having a hospital birth, that it's their first choice. I'd much rather give birth in a birth center or at home, but the birth center's not covered by my insurance, and home is two plane flights from a hospital that's "in-network" for my insurance. On a teacher's salary, I can't afford my ideal birth. My best friend (who's not on MDC, but is quite possibly the crunchiest person I know IRL) opted for a hospital birth over a home birth because she just doesn't have much housekeeping support from her DP... the hospital was a break from the household responsibilities. People make all kinds of decisions for all kinds of reasons.

Me+DH+DS1+DS2+Dog=me and a house full of guys, which is really just peachy, thanks.
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Old 10-26-2007, 07:33 PM
 
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Sometimes the DDCs are the first places a new member gets active. After they spend a little more time around here, they get crunchier. I know I did.
yea, me too

Erin, 33, salty southern mama, sitting by the sea with my DH35, DD10, DS4, &DD2!
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Old 10-26-2007, 08:00 PM
 
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I think there's more discussion about it in DDCs because members feel safer there. Guess what? I'm having a hospital birth (by choice!) and I really don't feel like posting it in this forum and getting flamed and a bazillion suggestions to just UC instead. I'm 33, this is my 4th child, and I'm quite educated about labor and birth, thank you very much. I also don't feel like educating any one else on this board as to why all 3 of my hospital births so far have NOT been horrible but instead wonderful experiences.

At least in a DDC there's a lot more room for discussion and questions. I see so many mamas here that throw out the UC idea without any kind of background information, etc., and it really makes me scratch my head. Do people *really* think that someone planning a hospital birth is all of the sudden going to birth their baby alone at home just 'cause an internet stranger said so? Most of the time people give this suggestion with NO additional facts - just "Well, you should UC instead."

(I'm not against UCs at all - just against one-line, in no way helpful advice and flaming. )

A happy woman
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Old 10-26-2007, 08:04 PM
 
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Haven't found that yet but we are a pretty new board- only June!
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Old 10-26-2007, 08:23 PM
 
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Gosh, I"m going to have to check out the DDC board! While I have found a lot of great advice and interesting viewpoints on this board, at times I've been surprised at the at the one-size-fits-all pregnancy advice and hard line that all tests and interventions are unnecessary and bad. I wish I were 24 and in perfect health, but it's not the case and I assume i'm not the only one. Everyone's birth experience is unique and I don't really care if someone else homebirths, hospital births, or whatever! We all do what we have to do to feel comfortable and have a healthy babe.
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Old 10-26-2007, 08:49 PM
 
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I think people like to mention that many things aren't necessary (and I almost always see a disclaimer of, "unless medically indicated") because our birth culture says otherwise. There are many women who think certain things pertaining to pregnancy and birth are a must. They're hearing it from their OB, from their friends, from their family....people like to just offer up a different POV. Even if that OP doesn't take it into consideration, other people may. It's how we all slowly learn.

With DD I had it all done. All of it. The tests, the ultrasounds, the hospital birth, the epidural. I personally (*read* PERSONALLY) am thankful that I've read the posts that pipe in with, "well it actually *isn't* necessary unless there is a medical reason". It gave me pause and caused me to question things I never would have before and now I feel so relaxed about this pregnancy and birth because of it. No being poked by needles, no going in for tests, no going into an OB office period. This will be my first homebirth.

I think that if it doesn't apply to your case (general your) because you have a NEED for a certain test, medicine, etc. then that post doesn't apply to you (again general you) and you shouldn't get offended and feel the need to defend yourself. No one is saying you're wrong. Just that statistically speaking, baring medical issues, many things are unnecessary for a healthy pregnancy and birth and I think it's important to get that word out there.

Mama to : '05, '08, '10 and expecting our 3rd homebirth.jpgJanuary '13

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Old 10-26-2007, 08:59 PM
 
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yeah, op - ita. i'm not really participating in my ddc b/c i just don't want to read "did you see your ob yet?" (at 4 weeks)/"how was your 7 week us? and are you looking forward to your 18 week one"?/"i'm having an epidural"...

more power to ya if that's what you want to do, but i'm just not there and don't want to be there in my head. at all.

but then i'm sure there are plenty who would think I'm the froot loop as i'm not being seen for any care yet, wanting a uc, etc...
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Old 10-26-2007, 09:13 PM
 
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If you're talking about the Nov DDC, it may seem a little more mainstream/hospital birth-filled on the surface, but there is some context and background that might not be apparent at first glance. Many of the hospital-going mothers really agonized over what the best choice would be given their particular history and circumstances and for some people the hospital is the best choice.

There are still plenty of homebirth plans in the works, but you don't see too many of them yet because it's not even November. Many of the hospital-going women had reasons for delivering on the early side, creeping into October. I can't recall any UC'ers offhand (at least amongst the regular posters), but I could be wrong. The best part of the DDC IMO is that people are free to discuss things without feeling like they're going to be judged. We may not agree with others' choices, but we allow them to work through the issues to make their own decisions.

I'm sure there are variations in 'crunchiness' there as there are everywhere, but I didn't want anybody to think the Nov. DDC was rushing to the hospital en masse, begging for our epidurals at 2 cm.

DS (2) and someone new in March 2011
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Old 10-26-2007, 09:18 PM
 
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Thanks for explaining this, Oskie--I wanted to chime in and defend our DDC, too!
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Old 10-26-2007, 09:27 PM
 
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If you're talking about the Nov DDC, it may seem a little more mainstream/hospital birth-filled on the surface, but there is some context and background that might not be apparent at first glance. Many of the hospital-going mothers really agonized over what the best choice would be given their particular history and circumstances and for some people the hospital is the best choice.

There are still plenty of homebirth plans in the works, but you don't see too many of them yet because it's not even November. Many of the hospital-going women had reasons for delivering on the early side, creeping into October. I can't recall any UC'ers offhand (at least amongst the regular posters), but I could be wrong. The best part of the DDC IMO is that people are free to discuss things without feeling like they're going to be judged. We may not agree with others' choices, but we allow them to work through the issues to make their own decisions.

I'm sure there are variations in 'crunchiness' there as there are everywhere, but I didn't want anybody to think the Nov. DDC was rushing to the hospital en masse, begging for our epidurals at 2 cm.
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Thanks for explaining this, Oskie--I wanted to chime in and defend our DDC, too!
:



Our DDC rocks! The camraderie (sp?) there is amazing. IMO, if you're due in November and not posting there, you're really missing out. The mamas there are supportive of EVERYONE and their choices and are just an awesome group of mamas!
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Old 10-26-2007, 09:44 PM
 
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I agree with oskie. There are things I just don't feel comfortable saying outside of the DDC bc all I would get is flames and judgment. In the DDC, we know each other and are familiar with our struggles and individual circumstances. There isn't that shield of anonymity that exists elsewhere.

For example, at the beginning of my pregnancy, I posted a question in the general Pregnancy forum asking for advice on a childbirth class or method or book or whatever that would suit my psychological needs after my DD's traumatic birth. All I got was a bunch of judgmental posts telling me basically there is no excuse for not having a HB, which I desperately wanted but could not make happen in my situation. It would have been nice for someone to answer my question instead of harping on the fact that I chose a hospital birth this time. And even so, some of the responses were so short and sarcastic, it was clear that there was no effort to understand where I was coming from. One person even suggested I fly in a HB MW if there isn't one in my area. I mean, come on. :

Honestly, after this baby is born I don't know where I will feel comfortable posting bc sometimes the responses can be so hurtful and self-congratulatory. I love the November DDC!
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Old 10-26-2007, 09:55 PM
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I think that there is more discussion about having a mainstream pregnancy on the DDC boards is because people are far more comfortable there, and feel that they can ask questions without being flamed. Also the DDCs are like a stepping off point to ender the MDC world and living an NFL lifestyle.
I really like how the November mamas have stepped up to defend their DDC, I want to chime in and say that February one is also VERY supportive. IF there is ever judgment or snark in our club it's from non feb mamas who feel the need to step in and be self righteous.

In terms of the MDC site I find that there is much more judgment, snark and self righteousness on the non DDC threads (with the exception of the infertility board). It's really unfortunate because MDC promotes a lifestyle which is different than the main stream and therefore has a smaller following and I feel that we should support each other in our choices, regardless how "crunchy" someone may perceive them to be. Really how can we have a united front against people who don't believe in this lifestyle if we have so much in fighting?

Anyhow that's my 2 cents.

Deadra, Wife to Adam , Mama to Beatrix (02/08), Hudson (01/10), and Mazarine (12/13)
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Old 10-26-2007, 10:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by operamommy
I see so many mamas here that throw out the UC idea without any kind of background information, etc., and it really makes me scratch my head. Do people *really* think that someone planning a hospital birth is all of the sudden going to birth their baby alone at home just 'cause an internet stranger said so? Most of the time people give this suggestion with NO additional facts - just "Well, you should UC instead."
To be honest, this is something that turns me off of UC.

When I first heard of the concept, I thought it was fantastic. Honoring the mother/baby/body...not relying on external pronouncements...becoming highly educated about what is required to birth...UC seemed to require a level of commitment and responsibility that drew me tremendously.

But when I observe people quipping " I would just UC" to women in their 41st week of pregnancy who encounter problems with their OBs, it really makes me reconsider this. I mean, how educated and prepared is this woman going to get in the few days before her birth? Is it really helpful to suggest--not with a detailed account of your journey to UC, or the actual options available, but--that she should "just UC"? I understand many of us would feel more comfortable birthing unattended than with a crazy doctor, but presenting it this way just isn't helpful.

Further, it's not as if there's some predetermined baseline for what constitutes NFL. Someone might cloth diaper, practice gentle discipline, drive a car fueled with recycled veggie oil, grow their own produce...and have a hospital birth. Are they not "good" enough for MDC?
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Old 10-26-2007, 10:05 PM
 
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I dunno... I get ultrasounds... doesn't make me a mainstream birther or not an AP mama.

We're not all going to conform to every single code that natural birthing dictates. I wouldn't start a "hey, don't ultrasounds rock!!" thread in "I'm Pregnant" but I will talk about getting ultrasounds, that I saw the baby, etc. in my DDC.

We've had the discussion about ultrasound pros and cons... that's cool, and you wouldn't get that anywhere else. But really... we're not a monolithic cult here, nor should we be. Most of the mamas here are pretty darn informed, and newcomers ask questions, at least in my DDC.

eta - My DDC rocks, btw! Just a little plug for May.
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