I am the mother of a 10yo who has been searching for sex pics on the web. I am not quite sure how to handle it. I have restricted the content on the computer, which I thought I had done previously, but that really does not deal with the issue, because how hard is it to find images anywhere, frankly? I don't want to shame him or punish him. There is nothing wrong with the human body and I don't want him to feel dirty or embarassed, but I do want him to understand the violence and objectification that goes along with pornography. I have been letting it go for a few days because approaching the subject with him gets him very wound up and embarassed, so I was hoping that a few days might let him calm down a bit so that we can talk. Any suggestions on a way that we can begin? We have a good relationship and he knows that he can talk to me about anything, but is this something that I need to leave to his father? Grandpa? Father and I are pretty much on the same page, by the way.
10yo googling for sex pics
imahappymama
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I wonder if you could look into filters on the computer, and also into password protecting it, so no one can use it at all without the password.
I also agree with getting some appropriate materials and books that are not going to be violent like you might encounter on the web. Curiosity is normal, but the current culture of no-limits on the web is not, sadly!
I also agree with getting some appropriate materials and books that are not going to be violent like you might encounter on the web. Curiosity is normal, but the current culture of no-limits on the web is not, sadly!
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A nice wish, but I wonder how realistic this is. My 2yo DS can turn on the computer, enter his password, launch Mozilla browser and go to his bookmarked pages and play (sesame street, starfall....) And he is an average 2 year old. My guess is by the time he is 10 he can easily write a program to determine my password /lock.... or build his own PC to do what he wants. I am not trying to discourage people from using safety methods, just questioning how realistic it is. I think we have to expect that kids will be exposed to this stuff, at home or somewhere else, and we should deal with it by talking with them about it, and listening to them.
Originally Posted by Momtwice  I wonder if you could look into filters on the computer, and also into password protecting it, so no one can use it at all without the password. |
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i'd say there's a big difference b/t looking for naked pics and pics of graphic sex. just seems like i'd be fine w/1, definitely not with 2...BTW mine did plenty of surfing! we talked a lot about objectification of bodies, etc, A LOT. i think it definitely made the whole subject much less (NOT completely, hey he IS a boy!) appealing. he is now 20 and is lovely to his DGF. not to worry!
laoxinat
laoxinat
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My oldest ds has natural talent when it comes computers and electronics in general and that started VERY early. We knew this but didn't know the extent of his talents and in a blink of an eye he was at the point of building motherboards at his uncle's friends store (I don't even know exactly what that is btw but he enjoyed doing it) and he even started building his own computer. He was one of those kids that was able to create his own admin password on our computer which allowed his free reign on the computer until I caught him one day....we ended up canceling the internet at home because of this as I really thought I was policing his internet use and was horrified! I still don't really understand how he did it.
I was without home internet for years before I felt comfortable enough to bring it back into the house.
Originally Posted by AllisonR A nice wish, but I wonder how realistic this is. My 2yo DS can turn on the computer, enter his password, launch Mozilla browser and go to his bookmarked pages and play (sesame street, starfall....) And he is an average 2 year old. My guess is by the time he is 10 he can easily write a program to determine my password /lock.... or build his own PC to do what he wants. I am not trying to discourage people from using safety methods, just questioning how realistic it is. I think we have to expect that kids will be exposed to this stuff, at home or somewhere else, and we should deal with it by talking with them about it, and listening to them. |
I was without home internet for years before I felt comfortable enough to bring it back into the house.
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Well.... I walked in on my son looking at webcam girls. I was shocked because I did not expect this especially him doing this at my office while I was working right next door. The computer is placed in a way that you can see the screen when you open the door. My son is about to turn 11. Luckily he wasn't really watching any "hardcore" stuff. It was a lady taking a shower but at that moment when I opened the door, she wasn't even touching herself. First I yelled at him, and he got scared; took him like 4 clicks to finally shut the browser down ( which kinda makes me laugh now to remember the moment... poor kid)
I did not want to scold him harshly so I changed the tone and told him he could not look at stuff like that. And how did he even find that? He googled naked women and looked at the images. I had a brief talk with him since I was at work so I was busy. Told him he could not talk about this at school or with his friends. Obviously, he promised he won't. Told him I was also curious at his age but without the internet all we had was magazines but on the internet, there is a lot more stuff that is not appropriate for his age so please stop looking up stuff like that. I had to go back to work but on the way home in the car I told him he could always talk to me if he had any questions or concerns or if he wanted to know anything. He did not want to talk about it, just said he was sorry and never do it again.
Today I got curious and wanted to check what he was actually looking and while it is good to know exactly what he saw online I was also mortified......
I checked the browser history and he pretty much saw everything there is to see. We had another talk that night. Told him I knew what he looked at and while I knew he wasn't trying to look those pictures up he ended up seeing that and he shouldn't have. Wanted to know if he even understood what he was looking at. We talked some more which I think was informative and helpful. Told him I would take some great measures to block content like this but between home and work we have 5 computers so it will be some money to get the internet security for 5 computers :/
Turning on parental control for google doesn't help much. It blocks pictures and videos and search results WHILE you are searching via google. But you can still visit porn sites and use other search engines like yahoo to find stuff.
I did not want to scold him harshly so I changed the tone and told him he could not look at stuff like that. And how did he even find that? He googled naked women and looked at the images. I had a brief talk with him since I was at work so I was busy. Told him he could not talk about this at school or with his friends. Obviously, he promised he won't. Told him I was also curious at his age but without the internet all we had was magazines but on the internet, there is a lot more stuff that is not appropriate for his age so please stop looking up stuff like that. I had to go back to work but on the way home in the car I told him he could always talk to me if he had any questions or concerns or if he wanted to know anything. He did not want to talk about it, just said he was sorry and never do it again.
Today I got curious and wanted to check what he was actually looking and while it is good to know exactly what he saw online I was also mortified......
I checked the browser history and he pretty much saw everything there is to see. We had another talk that night. Told him I knew what he looked at and while I knew he wasn't trying to look those pictures up he ended up seeing that and he shouldn't have. Wanted to know if he even understood what he was looking at. We talked some more which I think was informative and helpful. Told him I would take some great measures to block content like this but between home and work we have 5 computers so it will be some money to get the internet security for 5 computers :/
Turning on parental control for google doesn't help much. It blocks pictures and videos and search results WHILE you are searching via google. But you can still visit porn sites and use other search engines like yahoo to find stuff.
I have been exactly where you are with my 11 year old. Kids sure are curious at this age. Here if you need to talk.
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There are so many ways around paretal controls and kids seem to find them all. Talking and getting ahead of the situation is best. Tween and teen years are tricky, gone are the days where they had to sneak magazines around
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Also with that many computers it might be best to create a user account for him on just one and make the others password protected
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my 10 year old daughters regularly watch porn
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