Not really, fortunately.

I have met women who pump for in public or do a quick feed in the car, and I am not one to judge them for that. I must say, though, that I have never met another breastfeeding mom who thought it was rude or who had a problem with other mothers nursing in public.

 

I know quite a few breastfeeding moms that won't nurse in public. It's usually because they are too embarrassed -- not because they think it's rude. I feel sorry for them. And I feel sorry for the babe when they out. It must confuse the baby when he/she starts rooting and gets a bottle of EBM.

 

I used to nurse my newborn in public because I could do it beneath a little blankie. Now that she is two, very squirmy and won't nurse without nearly stripping me, I never do it in public. I fear having someone come up to me and tell me to move or stop. It would embarrass the heck out of me. I would never have the nerve to tell them to bug off.

 

That saddens me. Even if they don't want to do it, they don't have to put their values on others.

 

It is very common around here and, of course, it leads to premature weaning.

 

Yep, ran into someone via LJ who said that you should either use a blanket or wear 'discreet clothing.' I lashed into her - obviously she's never had a baby who WON'T go under a blanket. Not to mention her 'discreet clothing' was clearly discussing nursing clothing, and let's face it, good nursing clothing is expensive! She's well-off, though, and it just hadn't occured to her that some people couldn't afford nursing clothing.

Then again, she also argued that breasts were inherently sexual, biologically, and that finding breasts sexual was not a cultural construct...

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by maria423 "Well, I nursed my dd for a year but would never have done it in public. That's rude and I wouldn't want to make others uncomfortable."

This is one of those little gems that irritate me the most. Can anyone who says this honestly say that they always act in a way that keeps people from bieng uncomfortable in public? What about the man talking with a mouth full of food at the table next to me or the person blowing his nose at the table? The loud obnoxious idiot who wants to make a big scene at the store because they think simply because something was sitting on the reduced price shelf that means its on sale(people leave crap everywhere all the time)? The woman behind me in line talking about her sex life loudly on her cell phone? Huh, bf'ing is nothing compared to the discomfort these things cause others.

 

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Originally Posted by Patchfire I lashed into her - obviously she's never had a baby who WON'T go under a blanket.

I used a blanket with d/s - no problem. D/D was another experience entirely. She tore the blanket off, pushed my shirt up (I always wear t-shirts) - you name it. I try not to let it "all hang out", because that makes me uncomfortable...but sometimes it's just the way it is. Some babies are very...excitable when they nurse.

 

oh I love babies who get into it when they nurse! My dd2 likes to slap my boob rythmically while nursing- so blankets are not helpful!
I nurse in public, and I also like to go into my car or a private place because dd gets way to distracted with things going on around her while nursing. She treats me like a snack bar!
As far as others giving me lip about nursing- I haven't come across any..with the exception of my sisters who frequently ask "Oh, I didn't realize you were stilll nursing!"
Its just a stigma so many people believe- breasts are for sex.
Yet men can stand next to eachother and pee in a bathroom-
doesn't make sense.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patchfire Then again, she also argued that breasts were inherently sexual, biologically, and that finding breasts sexual was not a cultural construct...

Has she ever seen a copy of National Geographic?

 

I am happy to know that there are moms who nurse until 3.5 and don't nurse in public. I think that's a great thing to be able to say to someone who wants to nurse but is embarassed to NIP. As far as I'm concerned, nursing is great wherever moms and babies do it. My baby is 26 months and we don't generally get to NIP anymore, because he's BUSY you know, and doesn't ask. But in an emergency--very cranky or scared, hits his head, that sort of thing--we sit down and discreetly NIP. But I am fine if other people aren't up for NIP as long as they don't hassle moms who are.

 

Well, I'm going to be a differing opinion here.

I personally don't think it's "rude" to NIP, but I'll admit that some women make me very uncomfortable when they do... not all, just some. I have no desire to see another women's breast, regardless of what activity she's doing, but that's just me. Keep it hidden then I'm all for it, but it's not something I want to see while walking through the aisle of a store or down the street. Discreet NIP is great, but if that can't be accomplished then I'll admit I'd rather it be taken to a private area.

When I start nursing again I will NIP only if I can't get to a private area (and I consider a car to be private). And even then I'll do it discreetly so to respect that there may be others around who don't wish to see me hanging out for all the world.

I would never force my feelings on someone else though. If someone was NIP and not being very discreet then I would, and have, leave the area.

 

Unfortunately, there are the people who think even discreet bf in public is rude. I really dont think someone should have to force a baby to eat under a blanket when they cannot get to a private area though(think large malls and such). Especially when it is a young baby who needs to eat now. And if I had to hide while out and about t nurse my newborn in the difficult getting used to it stage, my household would have pretty much come to a halt.Now I am discreet for my OWN comfort. I tend to wear large shirts and it drapes over my breast and ds's mouth when he is nursing and when he pops off it falls over the exposed area. Even then people have gotten all huffy about it. If they can see anything then the problem is not mine that they are staring too closely. Clearly they need to get a life.

 

Now if someone does not like to NIP for thier own personal comfort level, whether it be not wanting to expose thier breasts to others or not being able to take rudeness, I respect that. But if one is comfortable doing it, thats great. THe more it is seen in public the more normal others will start to see it. America is so uptight compared to other countries.

 

I have run into MANY BFing mommas out here that are against "doing THAT" in public...As for me...I nurse Willow wherever and whenever...and she's nearly 2.

I don't understand this obsession with women's breasts...

...they're boobs...no biggie. (in my case, LITERALLY no biggie:LOL) They were never meant to solely be play toys...they were meant to sustain life...kwim?

Momma...

 

I have a real problem w/ some peoples opinions about NIP. Especially when they say that by covering up you are embarrased or implying that breastfeeding or NIP should be hidden. Or your harming the baby by covering them depriving them of being able to look at mom or "eat in public."

People say that by covering up you are drawing attention to it, isn't that part of the purpose of NIP? The more people see women NIP the more it will be accepted as a cultural norm? If your NIP discreetly w/o a cover and no one knows what your doing how are you furthuring the cause? (I have no problem with anyone NIP covered or not so don't flame me okay. The argument just doesnt make sence to me.)

I live in a area where the majority of the population is LDS (Mormon) we are a very modest people. I cover up for 2 reasons, 1, my own personal sence of modesty. 2, after 5 kids and 35 yrs of age my boobs resemble the ones in a National Geographic magazine My tiny newborns head is no way big enough to cover the whole thing! LOL! I don't want to subject any one to my aprox 6" of stretched marked flesh! :LOL

Therefore I use blankets big t-shirts and nursing covers. People see me, know what I'm doing and either walk away quickly or smile knowingly.

Michelle

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Lately I've been actively working on being LESS discreet while NIP.

<-- see location

Sustainer (ETA: whoops! It was Captain Optimism! Sorry!) made a great post about the feminist implications of nursing in public some time back; I think I'll dig it up. Basically, I am NOT okay with being "discreet" because it boils down to a patriarchal society not wanting us to view/use breasts as anything more than sexual objects for men; and if some of us are unreasonable enough to insist on using them to feed our babies, well, patriarchal society would highly prefer that we do it "discreetly" so we don't upset the status quo. So we don't give ideas to other women.

"Sure, ladies, we'll graciously permit you to do it, but pretend you're not doing it so you don't threaten our poisonous little social construct." Uh, NO.

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I'm not at all picking on anyone who really feels uncomfortable NIP; however, I don't for a minute think anyone should feel bad about visibly feeding her baby because of what other people might think.

 

Oh yes, I've encountered it. Some, it's been especially sad that the woman herself doesn't think it has to be a big deal, but gets megga family pressure (one woman couldn't even nurse around her in-laws with a blanket because, "we still know what you're doing under there!")

And then it just irks the crap out of me when women try to apply their uptightness on the subject to others. If you don't wanna, that's different that acting like I'm doing something wrong.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gidget This is one of those little gems that irritate me the most. Can anyone who says this honestly say that they always act in a way that keeps people from bieng uncomfortable in public? What about the man talking with a mouth full of food at the table next to me or the person blowing his nose at the table? The loud obnoxious idiot who wants to make a big scene at the store because they think simply because something was sitting on the reduced price shelf that means its on sale(people leave crap everywhere all the time)? The woman behind me in line talking about her sex life loudly on her cell phone? Huh, bf'ing is nothing compared to the discomfort these things cause others.

Or men walking around in public with no shirts on. That bothers me, but I don't yell at them to put on some clothes.

It has been beaten into our minds that it is rude for some reason, but we have entirely different reasons for holding onto this idea in this day and age. It may be at one point in time it was more risque to do this in public, in the same way it wasn't acceptable to let your ears show. But nowadays, with who knows what going on in public, the problem with public breastfeeding is that it shows what breasts are for, and some people just don't like that. Some people just don't ever want to be confronted with the idea of breastfeeding in any way, shape or form.

I don't know why a breastfeeding mom would have a problem with it unless she is 1) worried that less discreet moms will make it harder for her in some way 2) she got a lot of flak about NIP and feels resentful for those who do it without any qualms or 3) she just doesn't question the purpose and reasons behind the anti-NIPers agenda.

 

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Originally Posted by lactivist02 People say that by covering up you are drawing attention to it, isn't that part of the purpose of NIP?

For me the purpose of NIP is to feed my baby. I don't use a cover because I want to do it in the easiest way possible, and I have had some really awkward times trying to nurse under a blanket. I've ended up feeling really embarrassed and stupid. I actually was too embarrassed to nurse in front of people after a blanket incident gone awry, so I had to leave the room.

I prefer to turn away or bend over the baby as I'm popping the nipple in, then I like to pull my shirt down or sling tail over the top of my breast area. I don't feel the need to cover my toddler's head, and she is old enough now to pull it off and be quite vocal about things.

But if you like covering with a blanket and it works for you, I have no problems with that.

 

I would think the majority of the time it would lead to premature weaning. How can you live like that? Babies nurse so often. How could you leave the house?

 

Quote:

Now if someone does not like to NIP for thier own personal comfort level, whether it be not wanting to expose thier breasts to others or not being able to take rudeness, I respect that. But if one is comfortable doing it, thats great. THe more it is seen in public the more normal others will start to see it. America is so uptight compared to other countries.

I totally agree.

Kristin, I LOVE your location!

I guess I also get peeved when people talk about how it's okay "as long as you're discreet." First of all, what's discreet to one person isn't to another, so the term "discreet" doesn't mean much. Second, what if I plain out don't want to be discreet? I mean, I'm not going to sit around with my nipple hanging out of my shirt while I take my time getting the baby latched on. That's not fun for me. I don't WANT people to see my nips. But then again, I'm not going to cover up with a blanket to prevent people from seeing the back of my baby's head while he eats just because they have hang-ups the size of Texas.

And I nurse my 2+ year old in public too.

And I'm not going to stop.

 

"hangups the size of Texas!"

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My hangups are more in the shape of Florida. :LOL

 

Personally, I don't see why any of you care about where others nurse their children.
My dd is 5 1/2 months and has been exclusively breastfed, and I don't nurse in public. It's not the act of breastfeeding publicly that bothers me - it's mainly b/c I've always had huge, heavy breasts and I don't care to put them on display. Of course I'm not offended by those who do nurse in public, but I don't really care one way or the other.
If some women are embarrassed, then they have a right to their feelings. Not nursing in public beats formula in my book!!