For some parents, a child announcing that they don't identify with the gender they were assigned at birth can be shocking. Even if they've been displaying the signs of gender dysphoria, the concept of such a radical life change can seem like a huge undertaking. However, there are several practices you can follow to ensure that this is a positive thing for both you and your child.
1. Believe Your Child
The first step is to accept your child's identity as transgender. Imagine how hard it may be for them to come forward at all. It isn't something they take lightly or are announcing on a whim. Psychology Today says that the only person who can say for certain if your child is trans is your child. Not a pediatrician, psychiatrist, internet article, or even you.
2. Let Them Lead
After your child who was assigned the male gender at birth tells you that they identify as a girl, your first step is not to head for the nearest dress store and tell them that they can have all the pink clothing they want. Instead, ask your kid how they want to live their life and if there are any changes they want to make, big or small.
The best thing you can do is listen and support them in their journey. Sue Chitayi, the mother of a transgender son and volunteer for Gendered Intelligence says, "Above all, listen to your children...be open and communicative and allow them to explore their gender identity."
Related: My Child Came Out as Transgender Last Year: Why Being Her Advocate is So Important
3. Educate Yourself
Even if your child identifies as transgender, that doesn't mean they're an expert on the topic. It's your responsibility to do research on sex and gender so that you can have a better understanding of what your child is going through. Plus, you'll be able to answer some of their questions. Research what transitioning from one gender to another can look like, medically, behaviorally, etc. Just be very careful not to force any of these ideas on your child.
4. Join a Support Group
While you may back your child 100% and do everything you can to support them, it's okay for you to feel emotional. Although it doesn't compare to what your child is going through, this is a big change for you as well. It's okay to have a hard time. Fortunately, there are a lot of parent support groups. Even if you feel like you're doing just fine, you can still learn valuable things from other families with transgender children. At the very least, you can serve as a support system for parents who are struggling.
Related: How to Talk to Kids About Gender Identity
5. Shower Your Child With Love
Chitayi was shocked when her son told her he was transgender. She says, "There are a lot of emotions involved when your child tells you that they're not who you thought they were, but I knew that this wasn't a decision that was taken lightly...I knew I just had to be there, and to fully support him. I simply wanted to find out what to do next and how best to help him."
At the end of the day, your child is your child no matter what. They need your love no matter what. If you continue to shower them with love, things will be easier for both of you.
Photo Credit: Anastasiia Petrych / Shutterstock
