Come on! Some of you brilliant women ought to know something about this!

 

Have you tried teaching her more about tractors? Or maintenance trucks? As in, the more she knows about them, the less mystery there will be about why they're so big and loud, so maybe that'll help lessen her fear?

Is she willing to play with toy trucks/tractors? Maybe she just needs to work through it (in a more comfortable way for her) through playing or drawing.... Does she talk about them even while inside? Or is it only if you're going outside?

Have you tried making a magic tractor spray (water in a spritz bottle)? She gives a squirt or three, and it magically wards off all tractors? I'm trying to remember some of the tactics that work for fear of monsters. Some kids do really well when they feel empowered to defeat/prevent the monsters (anti-monster spray, special power clothing or talisman).

Is she generally noise sensitive?

 

My kids both have gone through a fear stage at around 3.5-4 years old. It was pretty much instantaneous. One day, they were fine going downstairs to play, the next, they were scared to death. If we were playing downstairs and I ran up to get something, they would scream hysterically like someone were killing them. There were lots of other examples too, but the downstairs one is the one I remember the most.

It lasted for about a year and then just like that, it was gone. It was very frustrating and I am so glad it is over.

I think it is just the age.

 

Fears do seem to peak around this age, and like the pp mentioned it can come on all-of-a-sudden. Being fearful in new situations/places, wanting you to hold her or play with her, is not abnormal - a lot of kids feel that way. The tractor thing just sounds like how her fears manifest, if that makes sense. For my dd when she was younger it was "monsters" that she was afraid of, and now it's "ghosts", but I think really that's just the face she puts on her nameless fears.

 

We went through it as well. My 4yo is still growing out of her fear of the talking rectangle on Mr. Maker

(for some unknown reason it puts her into hysterics! and this is a bright, verbal, pretty happy child!)

I think that it happens at this age as they are actually able to comprehend the idea of risk. Healthy, IMO. Whereas the 'fearless toddler' is more of an immediate processor of stimuli, this age can start doing the whole abstract thing to some degree.

 

My DD is 3.5, she'll be 4 in July. She's going through a hysterical fear stage also! I was just writing about this on my blog the other day because it's so distressing that she's suddenly terrified of random things.

Bugs are one big fear--one day she loved playing outside and would even hold worms, the next day she's so upset at the thought of a FLY that she sobs any time we go outside. It's ridiculous! I feel better knowing other kids of the same age go through a fear phase. A lot better!

I think 3-4 is a difficult age. I wasn't expecting it to be so tough.

 

i think you are hitting a double whammy. the last hurrah before 'grown up' maturity time.

illogical fears AND the last bout of seperation anxiety.

give it time. i am sure it is also a time of another imagination explosion. they scare themselves. see things that we wouldnt see. be scared of the shower. going down the drain. or the toilet.

sound, light, skin sensitivities and taste too.

hang in there. just be with her. this too shall pass.

 

I agree with the PP's... no therapist intervention needed in my opinion. My dd went through this phase and occaisionally still acts like a complete fearful 2 year old when we enter a new environment (she is almost 6). I think you are just seeing a different part of your child's personality bloom.... she is just becoming more aware of herself and her world around her....

 

It's normal for some kids.

My DD got frightened by a motorcycle when she was younger and it was probably 2 years before she wasn't surprised/scared by them upon initial hearing of them.

I would say, though, that you sound afraid of people and that your fears may be influencing her. You don't have confidence that your DD can bounce back from one person saying something mean once? I get that the person shouldn't have done it and all that, but have some faith in your DD that she can understand that some people say mean things but most people are nice.

So while I don't think you "created this monster", I do think you could shift your attitude a bit to help your daughter shake it off a little faster/more easily.

Tjej

 

I dont know where you are getting that from. Yes, I was hesitant to leave her with this particular woman, based on my instincts. I make it a point to trust my instincts when it comes to leaving my daughter with people. I had left her in that room twice a month for a year, but it was different teachers. This one lady was just filling in because the regular teachers were unable to make it that night. I was right. That lady was awful to her. I was told later what happened between my DD and this woman.

After that, I tried taking her to Sunday school, she wouldnt do it, whereas she used to go without a problem. It took months before I could leave her at another church function. I am not afraid to leave with her. With the right people.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tjej It's normal for some kids. I would say, though, that you sound afraid of people and that your fears may be influencing her. You don't have confidence that your DD can bounce back from one person saying something mean once? I get that the person shouldn't have done it and all that, but have some faith in your DD that she can understand that some people say mean things but most people are nice. So while I don't think you "created this monster", I do think you could shift your attitude a bit to help your daughter shake it off a little faster/more easily. Tjej

 

My middle daughter went through a sudden fear about that age. Our youngest was a teeny baby and I wore him in a sling a lot. Our daughter became terrified of the lights in big stores reflecting off the glossy floors. She thought they were following her.

That was hard. We had to really plan outings for a while. She wanted to be carried and I couldn't carry both her and her brother.

 

my ds is 4 and he's suddenly afraid of things too. sometimes it's a dinosaur coming in from the woods behind us, sometimes it's the creaking noises a house makes. he won't go into another room by himself even during the day. i think it's a phase.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by wookie my ds is 4 and he's suddenly afraid of things too. sometimes it's a dinosaur coming in from the woods behind us, sometimes it's the creaking noises a house makes. he won't go into another room by himself even during the day. i think it's a phase.

OMG yes.. DD does stuff like that, too. She will not play in her room alone. She is not afraid of monsters, but of the sound of water running through the pipes. We are about to move into a house out of this apartment, so hopefully that will help.

 

One of the human condtions is the fear of the unknown. Now just imagine how many "unknowns" a child has to live with daily?

For me its a matter of perspective on how their little brains work and develope. My son is already starting to exibit irrational fears of things (2.5) Well, they are irrational to me

, but totally founded to him. Im prepared for it to get worse before it gets better.

 

Oh my word...what a blessing to find this on here tonight! My dd is 3.5 and will be 4 in july. We are going through a debilitating fear of things...it all peaked around st pattys day for us. Fine happy excieted for the leperchauns to come and visit and bring gold coins. The next day screaming sobbing hysterical that the leperchauns had come...oy vey...I was petrified to do any easter with her but dh insisted and it went fine. But this has all escaleted into an irrational fear of being alone, running upstairs to grab something(she used to all this just fine and dandy). She is slowly growing out of it but its driving dh and me nutso!
So to answer your post it must really be a age thing going on! I am so glad to see that there are a ton of others dealing with this too at this age!

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smalls181 OMG yes.. DD does stuff like that, too. She will not play in her room alone. She is not afraid of monsters, but of the sound of water running through the pipes. We are about to move into a house out of this apartment, so hopefully that will help.

With my son, it was smoke detectors. I thought at first it was a "convenient" fear, as he would sometimes be okay, and other times not (like when he wanted me to go upstairs with him). Then I realized the reason he kept sleeping under his pillow at naptime was to hide from the smoke detector. Daddy came up with the idea of drawing pictures on them, and so all of our smoke detectors are now colored green, and labeled as "friendly". But it still comes up from time to time.

 

My understanding is that this is totally developmentally normal. There is a lot of new awareness and understanding taking place, but not enough to completely comprehend things. My son turned 3 in February. About 6 months ago, all of the sudden after having no issue at all, he became terrified of the gorillas at the zoo. We talked a lot about them, and how they are in the gorilla house and can't get out, and that is to keep them safe and to keep us safe, etc. Now he pretends to be a gorilla, talks about them, etc., and is clearly working through his fear, and the last time we went to the zoo he very tentatively approached the glass to look at them, watched for a minute, then moved along.

We are now on to "monsters." I'm not even sure he knows exactly what a monster is, but we've talked about how our imagination can create these things that are both scary and exciting at the same time. I'm sure there will be more fears over the next many months, and hopefully just talking about them and explaining as much as possible will help.