[The4OfUs]

I am a rare drinker (think like, less than 10 drinks a YEAR)...but Memorial Day weekend 2003 I got tremendously drunk all weekend when friends came to visit us.....then a couple weeks later, went to visit another friend out of state and drank quite a bit then too.....only to find out 3 weeks after that.....SURPRISE!

DS is 9, sharp as a tack, and an absolute delight.

It's hard to not worry mama, but try.

 

[The4OfUs]

At 2 weeks post conception, I would not worry. If you conceived Jan 17 or 18, and the 2 bottles of wine were around Feb 1, that's just 2 weeks (not 4), which I believe is just after implantation, isn't it? Implantation is around 10days-2 weeks. The stress you're giving yourself about this is probably worse than any alcohol was at that very early stage. Relax, deep breaths, mama.

 

[The4OfUs]

Quote:

Originally Posted by salmontree

Your doctor has horrible bedside manners and sounds ignorant of the facts. There is a biolgical "grace period" at the beginning of pregnancy and the odds that you caused harm with one night of binge drinking at four weeks in is incredibly small. Its irresponsible of your doctor to frame the situation in such a way that it feels like a risk worth losing sleep over and I would also be looking for a a new care provider.

Really, this.

 

[The4OfUs]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jacquelin

We can't ever perfectly plan our actions for every conceivable outcome. (heh-heh.) Please, please give yourself a break and don't resist this fact of life but accept it for what it is. We all must. I truly believe your baby will be free of any major health problems that could have been prevented by your not drinking. If there are other (minor) problems, like a learning disability, this single act probably didn't "cause" it. Sometime later you will realize that part of the path of becoming a mother means learning how to accept the problems of others with compassion and moreover, to accept yourself as well. As someone prone to perfectionism and anxiety like you seem to be, this was the greatest gift. I am not sure I could have learned it without becoming a mother. Now that I am expecting another baby, I am not that worried about problems (big or small) that might be on the horizon with the next one. (Obviously, I don't want there to be any problems. But I am not actively worrying about them.) I have accepted that this is part of the gift of life for both me and my child. Truly, everything is going to be alright.

This is beautiful. It is hard to give over control, it's hard to not try to micromanage every aspect you think that you can to try to make everything "right" (I speak from experience)...but as a friend of many women who have done everything (and I mean everything) "right" and still had unexpected outcomes, coming to realize that we really *aren't* in control is humbling, and actually....healing.

My big lightbulb was after my second was born. My firstborn was calm, happy, social, independent from the get go. And I thought it was because of the way I parented him. My second born dropped me to my knees with humility because of her intensity and high needs, and separation anxiety...same parenting, different kid, different outcome. It was difficult to give up the way I envisioned parenting and start to actually parent the kids the way they needed to be parented, meeting them where they were instead of where I wanted us to be. But again - humbling, and healing. This does not mean you don't take care or give up trying to influence things...it just means you don't let those things that you can no longer control, control you.