I took my NT daughter trick-or-treating at ages two and three, and she could barely be induced to stay on the porch step when the tall scary strange grown-ups opened the door, let alone say anything. I said "trick or treat" and "thank you" for her while everyone gushed over her massive cuteness. Not one person tried to hassle her for not talking (or for trying to walk into their houses! She was a little unclear on the concept at first.). And when we get trick-or-treating toddlers, they NEVER say anything to me! Half the time they don't even face the door! I just talk to the parent.

At two-and-a-half, no one is going to be weird or judgmental about him not answering, or babbling, or even crying and trying to run away, I wouldn't think -- toddlers as a group are pretty weird little people, and everyone expects that. I'd go out to six or eight neighbors who know your family, at least by sight, let them tell you how CUTE he is, and then go home and enjoy the candy and the sight of your little guy looking darling in his costume.

 

I think all of us who have kids who are a little bit (or a lot bit!) different can relate. I'm very nervous about Halloween this year, but mostly because I'm afraid I'LL burst into tears. Last year she ran up to every door with a grin and said "Trick or treat!"...this year she is pretty much nonverbal. So all I can do is tell you my plan to stay sane this year!

We're going "trunk or treating" at a church with some very supportive friends. This church has a very large autistic class, as well as a few other children with special needs. The church is huge and I've never been there (my friend goes there) but I'm comfortable doing this because I know for sure that there will be other families there with special needs kids. Mine won't be the odd one out.
We're also going around the neighborhood, which may be a little bit anxiety ridden for me. I'm also just going to say it for her and hope no one asks stupid questions. If they do, my best friend/mom figure (she's the friend that is just a bit younger than my mom and gives me the best of both worlds) will be with us and she has no problems with just stepping up so I don't have to say anything.

Personally I wouldn't put myself in a situation you described at the school gym. But that's just where I am right now. I'm at a point where I just surround myself with people who know what we're going through and understand and support me.

Hope you figure out what's best for you and your son!

 

Pretty much there with you. My older son, Liam, is 26 months and while he has words does not use them to communicate. He doesn't respond to his name. He generally gets overwhelmed in loud social settings. For him, we encounter alot of social pressure for him to talk b/c he is huge. He easily looks 3 years old--he is 37+ inches tall and 32 pounds. Some of his 3T shirts are getting short.

I am not worrried about Halloween, as I will go to houses we know.....but I seriously might hit the next person who *stops* us while he is having a meltdown in a shopping cart to ask him to tell them what is the matter.

 

A lot of typically developing 2 and 3 year old don't say much on Halloween and I doubt that anyone will think anything of it. Most people will just tell him he looks cute (or scary or tough or whatever) and give him candy. Lots of kids just go blank at my front door, and we are totally non scary. They just freeze when it comes to talking to strangers.

I vote for deciding what to do based on what you think will be the most fun for your child.

When my DD was that age, the big activities like the school and the mall would have pressed all her little sensory buttons in bad ways. She's 13 now, and she lasted at the school Halloween festival for 20 minutes -- and she knew most of the people. It's loud, it's chaotic, it's not the best place for kids who have sensory stuff going on. Her cup of tea is hitting up a few neighbors for candy and then coming home and playing in her custom. But if you think your child will enjoy A Big Event, go for a while and see.

Anymore, most kids are mainstreamed and doing things and it really is OK to take our funky kids out and let them have fun.

 

Trick or treating can be overwhelming for any kid. My NT kids didn't "go" trick or treating till age 3. They just helped hand out candy in their costumes. (We may have done a few houses of people we know.)

I don't think anyone is going to expect a 2.5 year old to answer questions during trick or treat.

My special needs guy (SPD/ADHD) has done OK with it but gets tired of it fairly quickly. He was nonverbal at 2 (didn't trick or treat) and at 3 only had a few words. I don't remember if he actually said trick or treat - I don't think it was a big deal. Either I said it for him or he was just given candy.

As for the gym experience, if you think your son would enjoy it, go for it! It can be hard to acknowlege to others there is a problem or delay with your son's development. However, I actually found it a relief to have an explanation for why he wasn't talking. I would just say "He has a speech delay. He gets speech therapy." Although to be honest, it wasn't an issue at age 2. He was not the only 2 year old who didn't talk and neither is your son. If it will be too uncomfortable for you, skip it. Although, at some point your friends will know. Let's put it this way - all my friends know about my 6 year old at this point. They are very supportive. Most don't know all the details and they don't ask a lot of questions unless I bring it up. Many are surprised there's anything "wrong" with him at all.

Good luck!

 

I second the other pps who says no one will notice. My NT 3 year old chatterbox would not say a single word to any of the strangers last year. He had to be bribed with candy to even go up to the houses for a picture op. He never once told someone what his costume was, never said thank you, and gave most adults the stink eye. He could have easily gone home happy after the second house, but we were out with another family with slightly older kids who would have been upset by that.

 

I've had a typically developing child and a child with a speech delay. My speech delay child does have some words and is getting more and more each day.

Which child did I have to answer all those questions for at Halloween when they were two? My typical child. And she was actually a month away from 3 at Halloween.

Honestly, with toddlers, I wouldn't worry about it. A LOT of toddlers won't talk to strangers.

 

Do you think he'll enjoy it?

I didn't take my NT DD out until she was four, and IIRC, that was to 4 neighbours. She put on a costume every year and had the option to help give out treats at the door.

SPD DS first trick or treated at four, same thing - 4 neighbours and helped out giving out treats in costume.

At 5 he was a trooper, although had lots of fits and starts, but there was no way he was going to not trail his sister.

It's supposed to be fun for them, and there's a lot of crazy, scary that can happen at hallowe'en that's all in good clean fun but is pretty frightening and/or overwhelming to a young child.

 

Like I am sure you will do, I would just play it by ear and see if he likes it. If not, just head home or somewhere else, that is how we handled it. If anyone says anything to me or has a perplexed look when they ask my son a question and he doesn't answer, I just say something to the affect of "oh he is just learning how to talk". Most people just smile or say something nice and they get it usually. Like the others said, they may not even notice!

Last year my 4 year old ASD kiddo kept getting upset we weren't going in everyone's houses. He couldn't figure out what the point was of knocking on the door, someone answering and us not going in and I don't blame him really

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thalia the Muse At two-and-a-half, no one is going to be weird or judgmental about him not answering, or babbling, or even crying and trying to run away, I wouldn't think -- toddlers as a group are pretty weird little people, and everyone expects that.

This. And a big, fat hug, too.

DS2 is 32 months old, and aside from a few words (and his own special language), he doesn't speak either. I hadn't even considered Halloween as an issue, although now thinking about it, I'll also consider his age a 'reason' why he might not appear as...enthusiastic about yelling "trick or treat".

 

Thanks everyone.

I'm still not sure if I'm going to go to the School Gym one, it's the one I'm most concerned about. I think he'd enjoy the first 45 minutes and then we'd have to leave, but a chance for him to see kids that he knows, and all kinds of other ones. But yeah, he's starting to develop some fears of spooky images, he might get freaked out.

We live in a neighborhood but we're on the edge and on a busy street and we don't have a front door light, so very few people come here. I want to at least attempt something fun. Your responses make me feel more confident that he won't get "harassed" to answer. My concerns were growing because it seems as he gets older the checkout ladies expect more from him, etc....

Thanks, again.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by angelika13 I second the other pps who says no one will notice.

Yep. For any child that age, the parent is right next to them saying "What do you say?" Stony silence. "Trick or treat," says the parent. Child gets candy. Parent says "What do you say?" Silence. "Thank you," says the parent.

Neither of my kids have a speech delay, and neither was able to say trick or treat at 2 1/2. Oh, they could say the words, but they couldn't functionally perform. Ds was FIVE before he would do it. (And even then, it was under threat

. I told him that people might not give him candy if he didn't say Trick or Treat. He was getting old enough that people were expecting him to say it. The little bugger thought for a moment and asked, "Did I say Trick or Treat last year?" "Um, no, you didn't." "Did people give me candy?" "Um, yes they did" Ds 1, mom 0.)

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnalogWife We have 3 trick-or-treat scenarios on the horizon, wondering about any BTDT experiences or advice, etc. Worries are compounded that I myself am not that good in social situations, and DS also doesn't "get out" much with his peers yet. *Door-to-Door, will be just DS (2.5) and me. I imagine I will be doing the "Trick or Treat"ing, and answering the "Who are youuuuu"s. I feel that everyday life has me prepared for this neighborhood Halloween situation, I may be wrong. *School gym Halloween party on Oct 30, indoor with trick-or-treating, lots of kids, lots of parents and teachers I don't know, my friends with their very bright and verbal toddlers, marginal fear on my part about looks, assumptions, nervousness, questions, explanations, being "on stage" in front of my friends, but I believe my DS would genuinely enjoy the experience. *Mall trick-or-treating, just DS and me, would only go if weather prevents us from doing it door-to-door. No "performance" pressure but still concerned about getting overwhelmed by the "mainstream" culture of normally-developing peers. Anxious about the whole "Well, why are you having your mommy ask for Trick or Treat' or "Why don't YOU tell me who you are!" kind of questions. Also, I see him most intimidated by this atmosphere, with more spookiness, maybe less "friendly." I know the answer to my questions might be "just say it for him and let you all have fun" but sometimes it's more complicated than that. DS babbles, and his adaptive and cognitive skills are a little low.I still feel new to parenting and still feeling my way around "special needs" and hanging in the balance not knowing if this will pass, or if it's something more serious. Thanks for your help, similar stories, advice, etc.

My 3rd son was completely non-verbal at this age. What we did for Halloween that year was to practice trick or treating a few days before. He would wave, look up at our neighbor and then they would give him candy. Then he would nod and sign thank you.

I only took him to about 5 houses and did this.

Another thing, at this age, most people understand that little kids are shy and may not say much. I would just say thanks and smile generally. As long as your child is haivng fun is all that matters.

Take care and enjoy!

Jen

 

Sorry this is a bit late to be very helpful but.....maybe next year

My son was a mime for two years, we received many compliments on his costume and people thought he was just really into his role when he didnt speak. Also my son does alot of stim type hand movements but it looked like he was doing mime acting lol

The costume was such a hit that last year my 13 dd was a mime as well

I will post a pic later tonight

 

OP, how'd it go?

Oddly enough, by the end of the block my two-year-old with a speech delay had learned to say "Tick TEET" while his almost five-year-old sister without any delays refused to even utter those words. He also said thank you to everyone. She refused to talk. Kids are funny.

 

I'm wondering how it went too. I hope you both had fun!

 

Thanks for checking in and congrats on the tick TEET!

I chumped out of the school gym party. The logistics were bad (driving on dark rural roads, which I hate---and even worse on a crazy holiday event weekend) and my husband needed the car anyway---he was willing to make other arrangements for getting to-and-fro work, but I just wasn't feeling it. My friends are supportive of me in general, but I think I need to get a grip of what's going on before I can feel secure in the situation. Until he was 2 I felt his lack of language was acceptable, but it's getting more and more obvious and gosh darnit! I am the college graduate, MY nephews were both toddler geniuses, I've always been the one to follow progressive thought and confidently stepped outside the box when it came to ebf, cd, no-circ, no-vax, co-sleep, etc etc etc. Some days it's just...

My brother then wanted to come t-or-t'ing with us and I was getting excited about that, he was selling me on the mall scene since it's "so designed for little ones" and then HE chumped out on me.....so being carless, the neighborhood scene was our only option, which I was totally a-ok with. I put DS in his suit and by the photos I was taking, it was v. clear that he was tiiiiired. I took the stroller due to his energy level, and by the time we were at the first house, he was comatose. It was another year of me walking around the neighborhood with DS in the umbrella stroller.