OH YES....as far as the chatting to all of us and to himself at least. He's not so much one to go up to random strangers and talk, he's actually slow to warm up in that dept. (Whereas DD went up to our old neighbors she hadn't seen for a good year and chattered away to them and the baby....)

not very AP of me probably, but I have 3 kids and 2 other adults in this house and I just can't listen to constant chatter all.the.time....nor can *I* always be the one to go into another room....so yes, I have actually said things like "If you're going to talk to yourself, please go in another room to do it..." (when he's in a room with me, another adult, other dc, the TV going, etc. etc. etc.)
Usually does not work, but I have made that request....I just can't have about 4-5 voices going at once!

I've also tried to make specific requests on when NOT to talk to me...for example, if I am in the middle of making dinner, please do not talk to me unless something is going on where I might need to call 911. Unless you want to make the simple request of "Can I help?" or "Please don't mix chicken in mine" or something similar that I need to know right then.

There's also "when mom is putting the baby to bed, NO INTERRUPTIONS" rule...

These two work best with the promise of attention when I am finished with the task at hand, and of course, following-through.

 

Yup.

I'm chatty too though so I love it, for the most part. However I step in if he's being bossy or rude.

I think that monologue naturally becomes more interior with time. I figure in a few years I'll give my right arm to know what he's thinking, so...

 

My 4-yr-old DD is also not super-chatty to strangers, but she is a chatterbox with us and also expresses many opinions that could be seen as rude but she definitely doesn't mean to be. She told DH the other day he should wear a t-shirt to bed because "I don't need to see that hairy belly" and she told me I need new underwear because mine are "waaaay too small, I can see your bum hanging out of the bottom of them". She hasn't subjected strangers to these kinds of observations (not that we know of!) but she is very rule-driven and will object and get all directive if people are not doing what she thinks they ought to, especially other kids, which we do comment on, in that she is not the boss of everyone. We don't want her to be that bossy kid. We do try to teach her about tact and how saying certain things can hurt people's feelings but it has been tricky, since every new things that comes up is something she hasn't been told about, KWIM? She gets it about not commenting on people's appearances but is still learning about keeping other things to herself sometimes. I find it's a hard thing to teach and figure she'll get it as she matures and gains a little wisdom and life experience. I try to use "if so-and-so said that to you, how would that make you feel?" to get her to understand how her comments might be taken by others or just explain why a particular thing might be upsetting to someone else. She's gaining empathy that way, I think.

As for the amount of chatter, it does get to be too much; I begged her to stop talking in the car once and she said in doing so I hurt her feelings. I was feeling very hormonal that day and just desperately needed some quiet. But, like GuildJenn, I am also chatty and so is her dad, so she came by it honestly. I generally don't mind it, but in the car I sometimes feel like I can't escape it.

(see how chatty I am?

)

 

Good lord, yes. She shouts hello to the neighbors every time she sees them, and if they don't respond, she'll repeat it 4-5 times if I don't ask her to stop right away. She runs to the door every time she hears someone pull up across the street so she can say hi. She talks and sings constantly. And her "argumentative" button got pushed in a major way when she turned 5. I'm pretty sure I could say the sky is blue and she'd have something contrary to say about it.

We've become big fans of the phrase, "I love you. I need some space right now." And I'm shameless about encouraging her to play with her brother. He's a sensory seeker -- he doesn't mind the constant chatter and joins in happily! (Usually.) We're doing a lot of playdates and playgroups and I'm boosting them out to the backyard a lot when we're home.

It's definitely not all bad, and I love some of the observations and realizations she's had recently, but the constant noise and verbal contrariness can be wearing.

 

My ds is the same way, and he isnt even 3 yet. He just does. not. stop. talking.

At home he asks me sooo many questions, narrates whatever he is doing, has conversations with his baby/boy/girl (all imaginary), or various animals. He also always asks me to do stuff "can you do me a favor mommy?...."

And he asks everyone 5 million questions. It takes an hour to walk the mile around our block, not because he is a slow walker, but because he has to stop whenever he see's anyone and ask them what their name is, what they are doing, why they are doing it, what they are doing next, where they got their garden tool, how much did it cost, what store did they buy it from...etc. etc. etc.

And he does tell people what to do, usually with good intentions
"hey kid dont climb on the top of the tube, thats not a safe choice!"... or "where's your hemet? Go home and get your hemet, you cant ride a bike without your helmet, thats not safe!" Or today at a 4th of july thing... "hey lady you shouldnt smoke cigarettes, thats not good for your body, you should throw that away, you are going to get sick and smell bad" (which Im glad he knows all that, and to stay away from people smoking, BUT the lady used some choice words with him in response! (some crazy old lady smoking right next to the bounce house), I had to tell Levi to go somewhere else and stay away from her!

I love my little guy's conversations, but 3 min. of silence would be nice once in a while, just long enough for me to pee without someone outside the door asking me what Im doing in there and if Im ok!

 

my 5 year old dd is verrrrryyyy talkative! she recently spent the weekend with my parents my mom couldnt believe how much she talks..she talks about everything and anything. she can sometimes strive for attention from me and dh or anyone for that matter...she is the middle child...sometimes we do have to remind her that its a quiet time (like the library..movies..or just plain need a minute of silence

i feel awful sometimes telling her to stop talking bc she obviously has something to say but i am all talked out sometimes lol

 

Good grief yes! DS1 is very opinionated lately and is to the point where he is also pretty argumentative and can be bossy. It's a bit of a pill frankly. We try to engage him in meaningful conversations (usually dinosaurs or sharks lol), where if there is a point of contention, we will work together to resolve it, whether it's research or trying to find a compromise. We also reinforce him in taking turns and letting us speak and that he doesn't always have to be right-he gets that lovely trait from me

. We do have moments where we need him to be quiet for a moment, like in traffic, so I have a "Important Mommy driving time" in which he knows that it's important to be quiet or I might end up in an accident (thankfully, he's a cautious practical guy).

 

My son is 3.5 and that sounds like him. Oh my gosh he can talk your ear off. He is very articulate for his age (many think him much older than he is). Morning to night he talks.....to anyone who wants to listen. He too has to tell people what to do or not to do. Today he and dh got into a verbal argument....dh lost his temper and ds was in frustrated tears...After a time of separation I spoke with ds and asked him to appologize. He went up to him and said "daddy I am sorry for bothering you earlier...but next time you have to not put the shade up I just wanted to relax...."uhmmm ooops....he gets that from me (sometimes I don't let things go).

 

Thanks for the great suggestions

Quote:

Originally Posted by peaceful_mama There's also "when mom is putting the baby to bed, NO INTERRUPTIONS" rule...

we're working on this one too...

Quote:

Originally Posted by GuildJenn I think that monologue naturally becomes more interior with time. I figure in a few years I'll give my right arm to know what he's thinking, so...

I'll try to remember that too...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Qbear'smama We do try to teach her about tact and how saying certain things can hurt people's feelings but it has been tricky, since every new things that comes up is something she hasn't been told about, KWIM? She gets it about not commenting on people's appearances but is still learning about keeping other things to herself sometimes. I find it's a hard thing to teach and figure she'll get it as she matures and gains a little wisdom and life experience. I try to use "if so-and-so said that to you, how would that make you feel?" to get her to understand how her comments might be taken by others or just explain why a particular thing might be upsetting to someone else. She's gaining empathy that way, I think.

I tried your suggestion today and it worked much to my amazement! I think after the baby and toddler years when I was mainly distracting and redirecting him because talking obviously wouldn't have helped, I forgot that he matured and some explaining could actually work!

Quote:

Originally Posted by earthmama369 Good lord, yes. She shouts hello to the neighbors every time she sees them, and if they don't respond, she'll repeat it 4-5 times if I don't ask her to stop right away. She runs to the door every time she hears someone pull up across the street so she can say hi. She talks and sings constantly. And her "argumentative" button got pushed in a major way when she turned 5.

Ds does this too. He starts almost every sentence with "but..." which drives me crazy. For example, if I tell him dinner is ready and he should come sit at the table, he replies "but let's listen to some music", meaning, let's listen to music while we eat. What I understand is: "but I don't want to eat, I want to listen to music". It took me a while to undestand why everything he says seems so oppositional.

Quote:

Originally Posted by leighi123 And he does tell people what to do, usually with good intentions "hey kid dont climb on the top of the tube, thats not a safe choice!"... or "where's your hemet? Go home and get your hemet, you cant ride a bike without your helmet, thats not safe!" Or today at a 4th of july thing... "hey lady you shouldnt smoke cigarettes, thats not good for your body, you should throw that away, you are going to get sick and smell bad"

OMG, that's so funny!

Today was a better day, I guess I have to keep the lines of communication open and keep explaining to him what's appropriate and what not, instead of getting angry and blowing up.

If anyone has other stories to add, keep them coming... I love to read your posts. It reminds me what a joy and blessing my ds really is, and what an incredible gift he has of being so open, sociable and smart, instead of seeing him as a problem child.

 

When I was little, I was described as an "incessant" talker ... which, of course, I told everyone I met

I do think that explaining to your DS at some point when it is not actually a live issue that, sometimes, you'll need to ask him to give you some time without talking (which may mean talking to himself, to toys, to imaginary characters, etc. in other room) because you need some space in your head to think about things, is perfectly kind & reasonable, and likely to make sense to him. That way you aren't asking for it out of the blue when he's in the middle of some important topic and you are mildly exasperated.

But in general, the qualities that make him want to share with you & everyone all his thoughts are so cool! They usually don't last and he has the rest of his life to be brooding, introspective and withholding, right?? As much as you can, I would embrace this. Just make sure he's prepared to give you some space when you really need it.

 

can all of your chatties come and chat with my 3 year old chatty? LOL. Right now he is chatting I am listening to him go ON and ON about the map to an air and space museum (thanks grandma!) that he received in the mail from my mom! OMG. I have listened to his monologue on the museum at least half a dozen times in the last 30 minutes.

Sooo, I tune him out sometimes. (Bad me, but a mommas got to do...) He really is in the running to be the host of the Tonight Show in about 25 years with how long his monologues go on.

 

yes, but mine is 4. yesterday we went over to ask if the neighbor girl could play. Ended up talking to her dad for 5 mins - 5 mins straight of her chattering nonstop - one stream of consciousness thought to the next - she is cute and makes me laugh but at times it is like just be quiet already! I'm *very* excited for preschool to start in the fall.