Pick your class well. If you go to a class that's more geared towards preparing for an unmedicated, low/no intervention birth, you will be around other people who are aiming for this also. Bradley Method, BirthWorks, Hypnobirth, Birthing From Within are some of the brand-name classes you might find, or you might find one taught by an independent CBE or midwife. The classes can be a nice way to meet some other pregnant people who might become friends later on.

And, turn your thinking around. If you are NOT afraid of birth, but are excited, confident in your body's ability to birth a baby, and excited about preparing for birth, maybe that will rub off on somebody who is a little more hesitant about embracing birth. You could think of your attendance in a class that way - you can dispel fear with a positive attitude and spread joy and confidence to others!

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I SO highly recommend HypnoBabies or HypnoBirthing. They have a whole class devoted to "Fear Release" which is so essential for us. You know, being scared and fearful during labor causes complications...so its' really good to overcome your feelings.

If there aren't classes near you, HypnoBabies has a home study program that is available through their site.

 

After two long labors, I am terrified of birth!

I wasn't afraid the first two times, but now I am. Weird.

 

I am the opposite. Everyone I know thinks birth is something bad that needs to be "cured" right away, and I grew up so scared of it that I said I was never going to have kids. Most of the people I know consider a vaginal birth with some form of pain medication to be a "natural" birth...there was a facebook survey a few weeks ago about motherhood and all my friends answered the "Did you have a natural birth?" question with, "Yep! All natural with just a little [insert drug of choice here]! Sweet, sweet [drug]..."

I even knew someone a couple years ago who said, "I just hope with every pregnancy that I have complications so I can get an emergency c-section."

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by greeny After two long labors, I am terrified of birth! I wasn't afraid the first two times, but now I am. Weird.

I'm with you! I am pregnant with #3 and am honestly a little afraid of giving birth. I had a cesarean with my first and a homebirth with my second, so my second was the first time I had experienced labor and vaginal birth. Now that I know what it's like, yeah, I'm a little scared (but I wasn't scared at all until I had actually experienced it). That being said, I'm much more fearful of going to a hospital, or of having unnecessary interventions or another cesarean, so we'll be having another homebirth. Some people just aren't scared of birth, some are. I don't think it means much, really. You are going to get what you get with birth, and you have very little control over how your body is going to respond to birth and what the pain will "feel like" to your mind. Keeping fear bottled up inside is counterproductive, I think, but a healthy amount of fear or reservation is perfectly natural as long as you can express it rather than let it take a hold of you.

 

Have you actually asked people if they were afraid of birth? Cause I never actually asked the question till recently. I asked my mother, who had 6 natural births if she was ever afraid. I was her doula at 2 births. Shes told me repeatedly how she "conquered" the pain. But I never thought to ask till recently. Know what her answer was? "Everytime"

I've asked lots of questions of women. I've asked women how they handle the pain, what they do to relax, whats more painful (like c/s or vaginal or forceps or whatever). But I never thought to ask if they were scared till recently.

What made me ask? Cause I am petrified of giving birth again and I have had 6 hbs. One thing I do know is that natural birth advocates don't want to scare women so they don't talk about the fear or the pain in a bad way. Its all about thinking positive. Being encouraging. You aren't gonna convince anyone of a natural birth if you told everyone how horribly painful it is yk. So yes, I think fear is universal for the most part regardless of how you birth or where you birth or how many children you have had.

 

Wow, pretty much everyone I know was afraid of birth including myself. I mean, watch any "A Baby Story" or "Birth Day" and you'll see why! 90% of all women in the US have an epidural, and I do think fear has a lot to do with this. It causes the fight/flight response in us and makes our muscles clench and our bodies unable to deal with the pain.

After two births (one traumatic, one pretty good, both medicated) I'm finally getting over the fear. I also read a lot of Ina May Gaskin. If you're really not afraid and don't know anyone who is, you guys are definitely in the minority. And probably don't buy into society's hype about birth, which is good.

 

I have had four med free births (3 waterbirths), they all hurt. When I took my pg test this time (we were tta) and it came up positive my first reaction was birth anxiety. It hurts. The pain is short lived, but it hurts and I don't like the painful part. Totally worth it, my body is totally capable but I have a small dose of healthy fear imparted into my total confidence in my body to birth a baby!! I went into my first birth expecting the worst pain possible, I was surprised it wasn't as bad as I had imagined....but it hurt

I have to say though that regardless of how much birth hurts it is the most empowering experience I have ever gone through and it gives me such confidence in myself that I can do anything. I would bet that many women out there have fear of the actual birth, but aren't sharing that information unless directly asked. I wouldn't change a thing mind you, and I can't wait for this next birth, I am so excited to meet this new child and experience motherhood all over again, OMG the pain is so totally worth it, that is why people do it again and again and again

Warmly,
Erin

 

I did hypno-babies and had no fear of birthing. It was a great way to become educated about the birth process without the fear. Unfortunately, labor was quite painful for me, and in the end I did have an epi and eventually a c-section, though I'd planned a natural birth.

ETA: Now DURING birth? Yeah, I was afraid. But leading up to it, not really.

 

I am terrified.
I am more scared of something going wrong when giving birth then actual labor.

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I had no fear at all for my first. I went to all the classes, watched all the tv shows, read all the books, etc. I was just really excited!

After giving birth to my first (who I got pregnant with on the first try) I was terrified of ever doing it again. I finally got pregnant with #2 after 4.5 years of infertility (every fertility test come back ok) I am convinced it was a mental block because of my fear. I only got pregnant when I thought there was no hope and I was "safe".

I thought I would be terrified my entire second pregnancy and birth but I was really mellow and had an awsome birth.

So I guess you could say I did fear birth at one point but never when I was pregnant or having to birth ... sounds really weird now that I read it. I don't think I would fear it again either ...

 

Lots of my friends who have no kids are afraid of birth, but most of my friends who do have kids are homebirthers and not scared. Personally, I'm finally starting to get nervous about the pain, but I don't think it'll be anything I can't handle (I know my pain tolerance is high). Certain parts of birth do scare me, like dealing with the hospital, which is why I'm not going to one

 

I was anxious about labor earlier in my pregnancy, but now that it's getting close I feel really calm. I'm doing the Hypnobabies home study course and I think that has helped, but also I've unfortunately had such a miserable pregnancy that I can't think of anything more satisfying then pushing this baby out of my body, no matter how bad it may or may not hurt.
I'm also just really curious to feel the sensations because everyone describes it so differently.
I'm also pretty adept at dealing with pain because I've had excruciating AF cramps since the age of 11 and a couple of years dealing with ovarian cysts, which cause out of this world misery. Plus migraines.
BUT i have heard that the feelings in labor are quite different and indescribable!

 

Wow. I am glad and grateful for all your responses, also sharing your feelings. Maybe I am just ignorant will learn to fear birth. But so far I only know, that many woman have gotten through it and had many children afterwards, so it is part of life. I have asked my relatives and my husbands relatives if they were scared, they said all said, they were not really scared, more nervous, excited or anxious. They were afraid of being a good parent and doing the right things, but not of birth itself. It was more something that is part of life and you go through it, and yes, it hurts, but it is not a pain one needs to be afraid of. They all had hospital births. However, I haven't asked many of my American friends. I wonder if it is a cultural thing.

I can also see the value of not wanting to scare woman, because I can see and hear from books and media, that there is a lot of fear. And fear can be inhibiting. If I will get scared, than there is no reason to start the fear now.

I have had to deal with pain in my life and I have learned autogenic training, which I believe is similar to hypnobirthing. I also have experienced how fear can multiply pain. And I hope that we all will go through our next labors without to much of fear on our shoulders.

kcparker, I like your attitude

 

I heard a lot of scare stories when I was pregnant with my first, but I was never afraid of labour/birth. I ended up with an unwanted (forced) c-section. I've been afraid when I'm pregnant ever since. Until this pregnancy, I was always afraid that I might end up with another c-section (I always did)...and this time, I'm afraid because I know I will. It's very, very unlikely that I'll have any labour this time, and that scares me much more than labour ever has. I hate scheduled sections...only had one, and it sucked.

Labour...labour hurt, but I never found it scary...kind of exhilarating, actually.

 

Just wanted to add, I am pretty sure I am in the lucky minority, but even right after the birth of my son, I characterized it as less painful than I thought it would be. Intense, yes, all-consuming, yes, but painful, not so much. I had a few painful contractions and I do remember thinking during what I know in retrospect was transition, "This has all been very interesting, but I am not sure I ever need to do it again." And I remember realizing during the middle of pushing, "Wow. NOBODY else in this room can help me do this. I have to do it all by myself," which was the closest I came to being what I would call scared. I think at some point, you can have so many endorphins coursing thorugh your veins that you are "beyond pain" and in a pretty altered state of consciousness, and the labor wipes out your ability to make judgements about anything.

I know partly, I had everything line up in my favor: LOA baby, textbook labor that picked up steam nice and easy, good ability to relax and let go, a deep tub filled with warm water, an hour nap between being complete and pushing, and supportive caregivers. Part of why I wasn't scared was because I went into the birth believing a) in my ability to DO this!, b) it's totally survivable pain, and c) it's temporary and has a good reason behind it.

 

I've had two beautifully easy births. And now i'm afriad of dying in childbirth

: Very weird, and since I want more children I'm struggling to move past it. The chances are SO slim and I *know* that and am a homebirther and yada yada yada, but I can't get past the irrational fear of leaving my children motherless/not getting to see them grow up. It brings me to tears.

 

I haven't experienced birth yet, but I agree with kcparker that a lot of it probably depends on your beliefs going in to it.
There's a really good book called Childbirth Without Fear by Grantley Dick Read and it talk s about a lot of the pain in birth IS directly associated with fear and the fight or flight system.
I think it totally makes sense, as a lot of pain is directly related to our perception of it.
Wasn't there even a study done during WW2 where they told a blindfolded prisonor that they were going to cut his wrists, and then dragged the dull side of a knife across his skin and he died within minutes? Does anybody know where I read this?
The mind can be really powerful.
And there is definitely a lot of cultural fear surrounding pregnancy and birth - all the t.v. shows and movies portray it as something terrible instead of something empowering and beautiful.