emotional support/lack of

Are you venting or do you want ideas? I'll go with ideas because I always have 2cents to add. Think of your husband as emotionally handicapped. He just can't do this. You can get your support from other places- here, girlfriends, family. Most women get a fair amount of support outside their marriage. Focus on what he does well, what he does contribute and stop asking him to sprout wings and fly if he can't. On the other hand, you may want to give him some coaching in... when I am really upset it helps if you XXXXX. I doubt he will know what you need unless you spell it out very clearly and likely will need to repeat yourself often. Husbands are good for lots of things, but many of them are not good at emotional support. Mine admits that when I am upset his plan is to get out of my way. He understands that this isn't what I need, that this is really hard on me and not good for him either but it relates to his own issues with his mother. And I am kind of stuck with it. So now, I have to say... I need you, when I feel him backing up. And sometimes it helps.