The Superflex curriculum is a good one for kids this age. My son loves it and I use it with some of my students who have social difficulties. The creator, Michelle Garcia Winner (socialthinking.com) has a wealth of knowledge and resources.

You could also try "social stories" or scripts that help him understand the nuances of social interactions that he may not pick up on innately yet. Things like, how to act when going to a playground, why it's not okay to hurt other people, how to act when you have hurt someone... (just taking from your immediate example). You can also make stories about transitions that are helpful with many kids. I put a collection of stories in a binder for ds, including pictures of him, and he loves it.

These programs were both developed for children with autism; however, they are useful and fun for anyone with these kinds of difficulties.

 

I've used The Social Skills Picture Book with my kids. (1 who needed it and one who doesn't need any social skills help but is interested in whatever his brother is doing.)

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1885477910

 

Does he have other flags for special needs?

Rather than trying to figure him and treat him yourself, I recommend getting a full neuro-psychology evaluation. If you suspect autism or other serious issues, getting professional help for him is his best chance at having a full life. The number thing that keeps with high functioning autism out of regular classrooms is violence. If other children (and adults) aren't safe from your son, he's got very few options (and most likely none that you would really like)

 

Sounds a bit like my child, to be honest.

We are currently in the process of evaluating for ASD. Checking out Superflex,

I also came across this:

http://www.socialthinking.com/images/stories/pdf_files/st_scp_1.26.10.pdf, which describes various forms of social communication impairments and the treatments these children can profit from.

(DS shows some signs of being a Weak Interactive Social Communicator and some signs of being an Emerging Social Communicator, which is one resp.- two ranges below neurotypical).

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

Does he have other flags for special needs?

Rather than trying to figure him and treat him yourself, I recommend getting a full neuro-psychology evaluation. If you suspect autism or other serious issues, getting professional help for him is his best chance at having a full life. The number thing that keeps with high functioning autism out of regular classrooms is violence. If other children (and adults) aren't safe from your son, he's got very few options (and most likely none that you would really like)

We have a team being put together to evaluate him, but I want to start doing something NOW! He has not been a violent child ( in fact he has always been super gentle - I was more worried that he would be bullied). I think that his violence is frustration turning to anger. If I can do anything to assist I want to start while the rest of the folks do their "studies".

 

http://www.amazon.com/How-Peeling-bkshelf-Scholastic-Bookshelf/dp/0439598419/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1299913863&sr=1-1

"How are you peeling" is a book my son used when he was having issues reading feelings and emotions. Its still a favorite today.

 

Also, any books on hitting?

 

Hands Are Not for Hitting is a good one, and you can use it to initiate conversations and as a platform for social stories. We always debrief when there's been a problem, and brainstorm alternate approaches he could have taken, and sometimes role play those.

http://www.amazon.com/Hands-Are-Hitting-Best-Behavior/dp/1575423081/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1299958035&sr=8-2#_

Are you familiar with sensory processing disorder? Here are a couple of good books on the topic, with previews:

http://books.google.com/books?id=3gtL9XaZ8GwC&printsec=frontcover&dq=sensory+processing+disorder&hl=en&ei=6sl7TbG2EIv4sAPEq5T4Ag&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CDwQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q&f=false

http://books.google.com/books?id=4IWJtCOkT0IC&printsec=frontcover&dq=sensory+processing+disorder&hl=en&ei=H8p7TYCqA5H4swPn8aSGAw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=4&ved=0CEwQ6AEwAw#v=onepage&q&f=false

Another good resource, related to Executive Function, is this one:

http://books.google.com/books?id=J5MA8e5YHmQC&printsec=frontcover&dq=smart+but+scattered&hl=en&ei=dsp7TZ7GGJK6sQPytYz6Ag&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&sqi=2&ved=0CC8Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&q&f=false

What I like about Smart but Scattered is the charts that show where a child should be in developing these skills so you can figure out where your child is struggling, more definitely than simply in the arena of "self control" or "self regulation."

I'll also ditto the rec's for Garcia Winner's Social Thinking curriculum, including SuperFlex and Social Detective. We've used them successfully.

 

We also read Hands are not for Hitting when ds was 3. It was good for that need. We also talked about replacement behaviors. This was long before Sensory Processing Disorder was on my radar.

 

It's not at all meant for special needs children, but I feel that the old standby "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk" has helped me a lot in being clear, precise and concise in parenting DS (way before anything was on my radar).

I also found both "The active alert child" and "The explosive child" somewhat helpful, though they are rather geared towards older children. The first helped me understand our family dynamics, the second helped me understand my own reactions somewhat better.