I think there are definitely people in the world who would not be able to manage unschooling - people who don't value learning, aren't curious, have serious emotional limitations that won't fit with it, don't like children, whatever - oh, there could be all sorts of things...

But you're just talking about yourself not feeling all that creative or knowledgeable about some things. Not a problem - and you might be very surprised how your creativity blooms once you start looking to inspire your child.

There are lots of wonderful materials that you can have around - even an encyclopedia can keep you hopping to find answers together - and lots of those materials work great for self-directed learning. You can learn right along with your child, and let your son take off on his own learning paths when the time comes.

FUN-Books catalog is an example of a terrific resource.

Take a look at these threads before you even think about letting yourself feel at all discouraged:

Unschoolers: please list your top resources to find out about unschooling
unschooling resources
math games and manipulatives
ideas for unschooling math
favorite educational games

Lillian

 

Hey Karina,

and welcome

I'm a pretty awful artist myself. My stick figures can look like dogs instead of people

, but in the last 7 years, since I first pulled ds from ps, I've rekindled interests, including art (just not drawing) that I had long ago given up.

One of the great things about unschooling is how it affects everyone in the family, you're children aren't the only ones unschooling (and deschooling, too). Before I had ds, I loved to make things, jewelery, clothes, knitting (and btw, all these things require different math skills), things I gave up when I became too busy with my school, ds's school and daycare and various responsibilities.

I've rekindled these interests, but have also developed new ones, thanks to ds, like animals and nature, science, and, to my complete and total surprise, sports (ds and I have become football nuts over the last year since he started to play the sport.)

You will grow as a parent, and as a guide to your children, in ways that you could never expect or plan for. You will become expert at learning how to learn, if not at teaching.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lillian J But you're just talking about yourself not feeling all that creative or knowledgeable about some things. Not a problem - and you might be very surprised how your creativity blooms once you start looking to inspire your child. Lillian

I agree with this.

I also feel that the beauty of unschooling (one of the many, that is) is your ability to learn alongside your LO's. So you don't have a great math background, not a problem. So long as you take an active part in your child's interest in learning math, you will learn with them. In fact, I often feel it is even more beneficial to both the learner and the "teacher" to take in new info and process it in tandem.

 

I wouldnt call myself a terribly artistic person, but my dc, esp one of my dds , has given me a touching view of the creative process. Not to mention she lets me know what she needs...and I ask a lot of questions.

 

Unschooling isn't about teaching, so you don't have to worry about that part...

For example, I'm about the most unmusical person in the world. I mean, I enjoy music, but I can't sing in tune, have never learned to play an instrument, can't even tell one instrument from another when I'm listening to music... you get the idea. My daughter, on the other hand, sings in tune and has a lovely voice - she's won lots of musical theatre parts and done a lot of singing on stage, and she's currently learning to play the guitar (something she's worked at off and on for a couple of years now). She also taught herself some basic keyboarding a few years back...

I've been there to help her, and I've told her about musical events and classes and workshops and opportunities I think she'd enjoy, and we've listened to music together, and I've done a lot of transporting her... but I did not teach her a thing about music, I'm pretty sure. The thing is, though, the world is a lot bigger than just me, and we're squarely in the world. I'm not her teacher, I'm just her partner in the adventure...

Her "guitar teacher" is someone I go to grad school with... and Rain's been babysitting his son for 8 months or so now. They're friends of ours, and we highly value them as friends... and I've been lucky to have friends that are good at a whole lot of things. For me, anyway, that's been a key to unschooling - having really cool friends.

She's done voice lessons more formally and less formally, and whenshe's been in musicals she's learned about music through that whole experience. She's also sought out people she's known and asked them about things... our next door neighbor showed her some guitar stuff, too, at our block party last year.

I am not sure we're all so bright and creative to start with - I think maybe unschooling makes us that way.

Dar

 

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Originally Posted by Dar listened to music together, and I've done a lot of transporting her... her teacher, I'm just her partner in the adventure... Her "guitar teacher" is someone I go to grad school with... and Rain's been babysitting his son for 8 months or so now. They're friends of ours, and we highly value them as friends... Dar

A couple of snippets that rang true. Having transportation is something ny dd needs. lol and there is no way I could possibly 'teach' her these things. And my dd's guitar mentor is a family friend. He's a dear. Our lives ar richer for it. Hr's also helped our dsons with percussion.

 

Quote:

but basically I'm wondering about HOW you go about teaching kids if you don't follow a structured program.

that's just it....you don't TEACH them.

I do think people who may not consider themselves creative can unschool because it is not the creativity that is the core of it, it's the motivation. If you are motivated to help and encourage your child to explore the world around them and absorb all the stuff there is to learn, you'll be successful.

The hardest part I have encountered with nay-sayers in my life is trying to explain to them that I do not measure my child by the standards the public school system has set. Once you let go of those standards, you'll feel more confident about it all. It doesn't really matter how creative or organized or "bright" you consider yourself because this is about your child taking the lead.

does that make sense?

As for structure: It's no different for us than if he were in school. Meaning, he is involved in sports, he goes to 2 different HSing co-ops, he is joining a different extracurricular club....those are when they are. We don't wake up and have "X" thing at "X" time at home. But if his co-op is at 1pm, that's what we plan around.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stinkerbell that's just it....you don't TEACH them. I do think people who may not consider themselves creative can unschool because it is not the creativity that is the core of it, it's the motivation. If you are motivated to help and encourage your child to explore the world around them and absorb all the stuff there is to learn, you'll be successful.

Thanks for all the responses so far, I really appreciate it!

One word about this....I understand that you are not "teaching" your kids in the traditional sense, but really, you *are* teaching them. By interacting, looking to inspire, and encouraging your child, you are teaching (the word "teaching" in and of itself is not a bad word, is it?)

I don't want to get too hung up on the semantics of the word "teach" but I don't see how it is a bad thing to say that your children are learning from the world around them, and you are a part of that world, and therefore they learn from you.

Or am I way off base???

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lillian J I think there are definitely people in the world who would not be able to manage unschooling - people who don't value learning, aren't curious, have serious emotional limitations that won't fit with it, don't like children, whatever - oh, there could be all sorts of things... But you're just talking about yourself not feeling all that creative or knowledgeable about some things. Not a problem - and you might be very surprised how your creativity blooms once you start looking to inspire your child. There are lots of wonderful materials that you can have around - even an encyclopedia can keep you hopping to find answers together - and lots of those materials work great for self-directed learning. You can learn right along with your child, and let your son take off on his own learning paths when the time comes. FUN-Books catalog is an example of a terrific resource. Take a look at these threads before you even think about letting yourself feel at all discouraged: Unschoolers: please list your top resources to find out about unschooling unschooling resources math games and manipulatives ideas for unschooling math favorite educational games Lillian

Thank you so much, Lillian. I will look at those threads and resources. =)

 

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Originally Posted by karina5 Thanks for all the responses so far, I really appreciate it! One word about this....I understand that you are not "teaching" your kids in the traditional sense, but really, you *are* teaching them. By interacting, looking to inspire, and encouraging your child, you are teaching (the word "teaching" in and of itself is not a bad word, is it?) I don't want to get too hung up on the semantics of the word "teach" but I don't see how it is a bad thing to say that your children are learning from the world around them, and you are a part of that world, and therefore they learn from you. Or am I way off base???

I guess I see the difference as being in the degree to which I am directing the interaction, and also whether the way we're interacting requires that I act as an expert. I do teach my kids things, of course. Sometimes they teach me things, or they teach each other. But often we are exploring a subject together. We are learning about the Odyssey that way right now (brought on by a boardgame dh bought because it was on sale, LOL). Dinosaurs too.

As for your concerns about "weak" subjects: for some subjects, like history, I'm reading and improving my understanding, for others, like sports, I rely on others. Nobody says you have to do this on your own!

I'm not terribly creative, but I think that unschoolers often do things that sound creative but what really happened was that they were organically following a path, and ended up someplace really cool.

ZM

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by karina5 One word about this....I understand that you are not "teaching" your kids in the traditional sense, but really, you *are* teaching them. By interacting, looking to inspire, and encouraging your child, you are teaching (the word "teaching" in and of itself is not a bad word, is it?) I don't want to get too hung up on the semantics of the word "teach" but I don't see how it is a bad thing to say that your children are learning from the world around them, and you are a part of that world, and therefore they learn from you. Or am I way off base???

No, not at all. The thing is that a lot of people start off thinking they will need to methodically spoon feed everything to their children - that children need to be taught, rather than that children can learn just as easily with access to the information rather by someone else relaying it to him. The fact is that yes, he'll be learning from you, and you'll be learning together, and you'll be learning from him - but he'll also be doing a whole lot of learning on his own. There will be some things that you can teach him that he won't come across from somewhere else, and things he'll learn somewhere else that he can't learn from you, or that you haven't even thought to share with him yet. So yes - largely semantics and nuances...but also some important differences in style.

Lillian

 

Even if you don't unschool as a family, your children will always have you for a parent. Who you are will eventually rub off on them

You are the best one to know your child as a parent and because you love your child, you are best fit to guide their learning. That's the way I see it.

Each person has her own strengths, and your children need your strengths--starting with how much you love them and wanting their success is all you need to start with. From there, you will grow to become what they need in the future, too. We all take it one day at a time. Be who you are today and know that's enough for today. each day you can learn and grow and change and your child will, too. Maybe you aren't great at art now. If you have an interest in learning to draw, take a class or check out a how-to book from your local library and start learning! Your kid(s) seeing you take charge and changing what you don't know into what you do know will be the better lesson than just seeing that you can draw. What a gift that could be!

Because my children and I learn alongside each other, we accept each other for who we are, differences included. They "teach" me patience and unconditional love. I drive them to places and introduce them to things that I can because I am older and have been in the world longer. There are things I am good at and things I have never tried (yet) and things I am just beginning to learn and master.

We all begin somewhere. I am glad I decided to travel this journey with my kids. I have grown more than I would if I hadn't taken the first step. You'll never know what you would have learned if you don't try. You can do this! Whether you think unschooling as a style of learning is for you or not, check out Terri Lynn Bittner's book, "Homeschooling:Take a Deep Breath, You Can Do This!" It's about homeschooling, in general, and addresses a lot of what newbies want to know.

 

So I was in a bit of a hurry earlier, and what I forgot to say is that I feel that the heart of unschooling for a parent, in my own humble opinion, is being curious, modeling curiosity, and modeling how to satisfy that curiosity. Asking aloud, "I wonder ________," pondering it aloud, comparing thoughts and theories on it, and finding whatever answers may be available... Wondering, pondering, researching... When I was a journalism student, we learned the 5 "W"s - Who, What, When, Where, Why - that every story was supposed to have. I think life is a lot more delicious when we wonder about those things in the normal course of our lives. And I feel we can easily pass that on to our children. If they have that, things fall into place like paperclips to a magnet.

Lillian

 

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Originally Posted by greenthumb3 Even if you don't unschool as a family, your children will always have you for a parent. Who you are will eventually rub off on them .

This has me cracking up - it's just so true! - Lillian

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by karina5 Thanks for all the responses so far, I really appreciate it! One word about this....I understand that you are not "teaching" your kids in the traditional sense, but really, you *are* teaching them. By interacting, looking to inspire, and encouraging your child, you are teaching (the word "teaching" in and of itself is not a bad word, is it?) I don't want to get too hung up on the semantics of the word "teach" but I don't see how it is a bad thing to say that your children are learning from the world around them, and you are a part of that world, and therefore they learn from you. Or am I way off base???

Well, are you also worried that the rest of the world won't do an adequate job of teaching, then?

I think it's much more valuable to focus on learning than on teaching. I can teach until I'm blue in the face and yet no one learns anything, or I can do no teaching at all and yet my children learns a whole lot. There're no necessary connection between them, and learning matters far more than teaching.

I'm sure my daughter learns from me, but 99% of what she learns is stuff I never taught her. Unschoolers see the learner as the act-er - the one whose actions matter. "Teaching" is generally about the teacher as the act-er, and those taught as passive receptacles of knowledge. If you think of active "learning" as what our kids are doing, rather the passive "being taught," the whole equation changes. I don't have to worry about teaching her... I just have to trust that she will be driven to learn, and help her to do that.

Dar

 

Oh we learn from each other and so many sources! I am so so at math too, and yet each time Dd has come to me discussing a math thingy we find it out somehow, or she goes off and seeks out information online or in one of our workbooks. The library and the internet are amazing resources for information on the topics and areas we don't have a wealth of knowledge about.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lillian J This has me cracking up - it's just so true! - Lillian

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dar Well, are you also worried that the rest of the world won't do an adequate job of teaching, then? I think it's much more valuable to focus on learning than on teaching. I can teach until I'm blue in the face and yet no one learns anything, or I can do no teaching at all and yet my children learns a whole lot. There're no necessary connection between them, and learning matters far more than teaching. I'm sure my daughter learns from me, but 99% of what she learns is stuff I never taught her. Unschoolers see the learner as the act-er - the one whose actions matter. "Teaching" is generally about the teacher as the act-er, and those taught as passive receptacles of knowledge. If you think of active "learning" as what our kids are doing, rather the passive "being taught," the whole equation changes. I don't have to worry about teaching her... I just have to trust that she will be driven to learn, and help her to do that. Dar

I guess I'm worried about a child being taught in some ways, whoever/wherever it comes from. You make a good point about learning vs. teaching and I absolutely agree with you! =)

I wasn't trying to get on a tangent or overly focus on it, I just wanted to discuss for a moment the "teaching" aspect of parenting/unschooling/learning and say that it's not a bad thing that you "teach" your child.

After all, my child teaches me as well, and he is only 2!!!

 

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Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa Oh we learn from each other and so many sources! I am so so at math too, and yet each time Dd has come to me discussing a math thingy we find it out somehow, or she goes off and seeks out information online or in one of our workbooks. The library and the internet are amazing resources for information on the topics and areas we don't have a wealth of knowledge about.

Unschoolnma, I don't know if you've seen this before but you have really inspired me about the unschooling thing. I haven't always agreed with you, but I think you're a great mom, and it sounds like your kids are great, too. Thank you for opening my mind.

 

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Originally Posted by karina5 Unschoolnma, I don't know if you've seen this before but you have really inspired me about the unschooling thing. I haven't always agreed with you, but I think you're a great mom, and it sounds like your kids are great, too. Thank you for opening my mind.

That's so nice to hear, really. Thank you! Isn't it nice to be in a place where we don't have to agree all the time, but we can still appreciate each other?

:

 

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Originally Posted by zeldamomma I'm not terribly creative, but I think that unschoolers often do things that sound creative but what really happened was that they were organically following a path, and ended up someplace really cool. ZM

True! I think sometimes people read something an unschooling family did and think "oh I would never have come up with that idea, I'm not that creative" but that parent might not have just come up with the idea either and then set out to make it happen. You might just be taking the dog out to do his biz in the woods and your child spots something interesting and it leads to some fun stuff.
Also you "sound" bright. Maybe you just don't give yourself enough credit in that area?

 

i am posting here because it seems appropriate but i coudl be wrong----lol

i am still caught up in social studies. UGH! my kids are really great unschoolers. We learn so much!---except history. we arent behind per se, but we do have to report to the state and i fear what we have wont be enough to satisfy them. All we have to do is do an assessment with some samples of work we have done throughout the year. We have lots and lots of other stuff from games to museum trips to 4-H groups, journaling, cooking, etc. But history escapes us we just dont have an interest. We did make a game about King arthur--but thats only one historical-like thing we have done. What else can we do? Im such a bad unschooler--my kids are better at it than i am loL!

 

We tend to historical fiction for inspiration. Documentaries (which are not really all dry) And films. We love movies. There are lots of websites, too, that examine the historical inaccuracy of popular films. Sometimes we learn the most through the glaring errors.

If there is a particular time period which interests you, I am sure I could come up with some books for you to run by your children. My dd got interested in the Salem Witch Trials after she read The Witch of Blackbird Pond, which could also be an early intro to the American Revolution, if that is also something that interests you. There is quite a span between the trials and the revolution, but the books gives a fairly good intro to the various beliefs held by colonists about British rule...my dd didn't really go for that bait , but I figured it was offered. lol

Even Little House on The Prairie is a good intro westward expansion and to attitudes about native peoples. Some wouldn't read that book because of that, but I think it's important to illustrate the wrong thinking that was held by 'perfectly nice' people like the Ingalls who really felt the land was theirs. Older children would enjoythe film Dances With Wolves...and having read Little House wouldn't have hurt. Am I too all over the place? lol

 

No no you arent all over the place this was great--now I can take off from that. I will look into more films...they love movies. We have 7 Years in Tibet which they sort of liked lol. Thanks...i think i will try to relax more!

 

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Originally Posted by doulajewla But history escapes us we just dont have an interest. We did make a game about King arthur--but thats only one historical-like thing we have done. What else can we do?

Ooh, there are such wonderful books you can read to them - how old are they? And there's that wonderful Aristopoly game, Made for Trade. FUN-Books has a bit of a sale on it right now - and they have lots of yummy history stuff:
History

And here's a page of lots of children's historical literature, crafts, and activities:
A Book in Time

I think history was pretty much the driving force in our homeschooling - we did whole vacations around it, just because we enjoyed it so much.

- Lillian