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Why do they smile when you tell them to stop?

484 views 5 replies 6 participants last post by  kamilla626  
#1 ·
My 13 month old is very busy, and has just begun the maddening habit of smiling and repeating/continuing the act that I've just asked him to stop.

I know this is normal toddler behavior, but my simple question is: how do you react to this? Continue to repeat "no" and not smile? Smile back when they listen to you? Distract and distract again? Ignore?

I tried ignoring tonight and it seemed to work, he stopped climbing on the armchair and beaming...why is he so cute??

please note-I am four months pregnant+dh working horrible hours,so maybe I've just become a bit un-creative...

I need a few, gentle suggestions...
 
#2 ·
Oooh, it's hard not to smile right back at 'em ... DD gets this look on her face that says, "How can you say no to **me**, Mommy?"
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Of course, it's also harder not to completely crack up and lose it when they throw a fit too. My mother has to cover her face or leave the room when DD turns into General Sherman on Atlanta during a tantrum.

That said, I still use the "remove and distract" method, and DD's 30 months. Usually works, especially if I say something like, "Okay, climbing on the chair is fun, but here's your blocks and they're much more exciting."

HTH,

JA
 
#3 ·
my DS is a little older, 17 months. I only use STOP when it is really really important like STOP while I am heading him off from walking into the road or dropping his lunch into the kitty litter pan. It works oh so temporarily until I can get to him.

For the day to day stuff, climbing on chairs, taking everything out of the fridge, unrolling all the paper towel, it truly is distract disract distract.
Here's some ideas:
~when I get something, he wants it. SO he gets something too. I need the cookie sheet, he gets the cake pan. He wants to open the Claendula creme, I give him the old empty wipes box.
~He is my big helper. I want to close the fridge, he wants it open. But he will gladly help me close it. (Actually starting to get over that one, so I am getting him to hand me stuff on the lower shelves that needs to be thrown away, then I give him a rag to wipe with, haha!)
~I ask him to "show me how he does it." He climbs up to stand on the chair. I ask him to show me how he sits on his bottom. Wonderful!
hth, Maria
 
#4 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by sofiabugmom
That said, I still use the "remove and distract" method, and DD's 30 months. Usually works, especially if I say something like, "Okay, climbing on the chair is fun, but here's your blocks and they're much more exciting."
:LOL

I try that, too, and my 30 month old will look right at me, narrow her eyes, clench her fists, and say, "No! It's NOT more exciting! I. Am. Going. To. Climb. On. This. Chair. Right. NOW!"

Part of me wants to bang my head on the floor, and part of me is secretly proud that she can see right through my obviously distracting tactics.
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#5 ·
At 13 months, the only reason they smile at you is to gauge your reaction. It is VERY hard not to smile back (because they are so darn cute when they do that!
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). However, if they see that distracting YOU by smiling isn't working (and, yes, they do catch on that they can distract mommy, too!) then they get the idea that this activity is NOT okay by mommy. I also agree to saying STOP only when it is absolutely necesssary. If you only use is seldomly (and use other tactics for all the other stuff), then when you do say it, it will get their attention MUCH better--because they recognize it as more of an "immediate" request, if you KWIM?
 
#6 ·
If I can catch dd in the act (of trying to put toys in the VCR, standing on the coffee table, etc.) I'll say, "Look at mommy, is mommy happy? No, mommy is not happy. Mommy is not smiling, mommy is not laughing. But I know something that makes us both happy... PLAY DOH! (or cars, or coloring, or Elmo, etc.)

It works aboiut 2/3 of the time.