I remember feeling that fear with my son at that age. He is also mildly affected ASD. It did get better with time actually. One thing that really helped us was RDI therapy (Relationship Development Intervention) because he became aware that he needed to look to me to find out information. He also developed a small bit of caution or fear I think with age. As far as discipline I use a 1-2-3 approach which I don't see as anti-gentle discipline at least as I use it and, frankly, some discipline approaches that work with other kids don't work with ASD kids. Most are based on some desire to please the parent. My son didn't respond to no either and would laugh like crazy as he continued whatever. He is getting better just in the last few months--I think because he is developing a desire to please us for a the first time. I just said Andrew I want you to get down (he was climbing) and he did--never would have happened a few months ago. Anyway, with the counting he did come to understand that when I began counting he needed to stop. I use it for danger or hurting others though I didn't start that until 3 and I don't know how effective it would have been at two. Maybe a whistle would catch his attention? At that age I pretty much had my son contained at all times (wagon, stroller, holding, etc.) so in the restaurant situation he wouldn't have been loose at all. I let him loose only in fenced areas outside the home. I still am pretty cautious with him compared to his brother but it is so much better than it was a year ago.

 

Just wanted to second what Rachelle said about it getting better as they move into 3. I know that's not terribly helpful for you right now though! I agree that at 2 you may just have to keep him as contained as possible.

 

My daughter, now 3.5, is finally at the stage where she can recognize some dangers. She has *finally* figured out that the stove/oven is hot. Two and the early part of three was difficult. Redirection was my primary method of keeping her safe. She's still a bolter so we have to keep her contained at restaurants, etc. Thankfully she absolutely loves to color so that's not too hard.

I'm going to have to ditto the other ladies that you'll probably have to keep him more contained than what you might have originally planned. I know it might not sound ideal but it was really the only thing that helped. You may also try some sensory diet type activities at home - it sounds like your kiddo is probably a sensory seeker (jumping off of the stairs sounds familiar hehe) - getting him some input might help regulate his cravings for sensory input.

 

I pretty much ditto what everyone else said. Also, while I don't exactly use the 1-2-3 Magic technique (read a little and hated it), I have also found that counting to 3 somehow gets his attention more than anything else. I have to be careful not to overuse it, because I think it works partly by introducing a type of time stress that's more stressful than I want him to experience unless someone or something is likely to get hurt. I don't know whether it would have worked at 2.

One thing I wanted to add is to do some forward thinking about what situations are safest/most relaxing. Make a mental list of the 2 or 3 best restaurants to bring him to (taking into account safety, sensory, and any other issues), and stick to those. Same with parks--one area may be much easier to deal with than another. Also think through actual safety since some of these kids have a real need to climb and jump and get up high--is this a serious risk of a head injury or broken bone.

That was a hard time, and it does get better, at least it did for us. Well, at first we had another child when he was 2 yrs. 7 months, and then it got much, much worse

: Now (at 6 1/2) I'm amazed at how much he's learned about how to be in various situations.

Sherri